Im really new here, but I just lost my daddy last month

[angie02717]

Hi,
Don't really know how all this goes. This forum thingy.

I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old. I went through a divorce with those parents, and they both remarried. I don't want to go through it all, but I have like 7 parents. Don't ask. Two of them are no longer alive.
I lost my birth father before I was born. I just lost my dad who adopted me, last month. My adopted father.

I also have a history with a self-harming that has gone on for 7 years. I stopped doing it this last November, but I relapsed once during the grieving of my beloved father.

I don't understand why it hurts. Is it because I didn't let him in my life like I should? I didn't mean to push him out, it was more like he regretted everything about the divorce and having my siblings and I being "taken away'', that made us not see each other like I wish we had.

I remember growing up with a step father who was abusive. I remember crying out for my adopted daddy and never wanting to be without him whenever something bad would go down. It really hurts that he is gone. :what:

How am I supposed to survive without the suicidal thoughts and self harm, when that's all I know how to react to?

I am just now under a lot of stress. It's just this summer that I will be doing college and possibly getting a job.

I've been on my own for quite a while. I haven't really adapted to life and how its "supposed" to be. How is one supposed to "grow up" emotionally when so much is thrown at their feet to tend to in such an instant manner?

I guess what I am wanting out of you readers, is just something to relate to, or ideas on how to cope with the grief of death.

[Ryhanna]

People grieve in their own ways, and whatever way you choose is perfectly okay.

Just do whatever makes sense to you. That's the best advice I can offer. I know how hard it seems to cope right now, but eventually you'll learn to move on.

[SimSailorNick]

Things happen for a reason and all you can do now is do the best you can with what you have and what you can do.

Try to think of this; you can't change the past but you can always do something about the future.

[Fiction]

It's completely normal to feel like this. I don't have any real relevant experience in losing parents, other than having nearly lost my own dad on a few occasions.

However, I know that losing someone close to you makes it normal to feel empty, and lost.

When you say you haven't adapated to life how it's supposed to be, i'm wondering if there is anyway you can get to a counselor to help you deal with that. A counselor will help you with the current feelings you're having to deal with, but also any issues you had in your past. If this isn't possible maybe just talking to a friend can help? Although I know that can be easier said than done.

With death, time does heal. It will always upset you, or course, but it'll lessen.

[Smeagol]

You still have memories of your father. That way, he can live on in your heart. He wouldn't want you to harm yourself because of your grief for him.