The Lonely Tree.

[razorbladesalvation]

Well yeh don't really know what to say i was kinda down and when im down i write a poem or too to take my mind off things just thought id post it see what people think :) open to all criticism

The Lonely Tree ~

Standing beneath the lonely tree,
With nothing but my thoughts,
I thought about what you mean to me,
The days we spent together,
The way we used to be.

Standing beneath the lonely tree,
Just a life with nothing to gain,
If you only you could see what I see,
If you could feel my pain,
Why does know one love me?

Standing beneath the lonely tree,
My tear drops just ran dry,
I thought about how you hurt me,
And then the blade ran down my thigh,
The pain has gone now i'm free.

Standing beneath the lonely tree,
With nothing but my thoughts,
I thought about how you loved me,
I thought about how you made me cry,
I thought about how i bled for you.

Standing beneath the lonely tree,
I realized how much i love you.

[Magenta]

:arrow: The Open Book

[BuryYourFlame]

It's interesting, but for me every fifth line reads a bit odd, kind of like it doesn't fit in as much, maybe cause of the ABABA rhyming pattern. Could just be me that reads it strange, oh well. Good work.

[razorbladesalvation]

I know what you mean but i write something once and dont read over it just kinda get into a motion with the words there nothing special just takes my mind off the world for abit :) thank you

[Montesquieu15]

I like the line "Standing beneath the lonely tree" and how it fits in at every start.

[CryWolf]

I think it communicates feeling very well. Good images.

[razorbladesalvation]

thank you very much

[dot6622]

Very deep and emotion-filled. For something you just put together not really thinking it is very well laid out. Nice job and keep writing things like this

[dontfiguremeout]

Nice poem. You have a couple spelling mistakes in there, but other than that it's good!