If I don't run

[Texas warrior]

A few weeks ago I had a breakdown, I tryed to face what had happened. I failed, I punched a hole in the wall of my room and screemed and cried. I waned to shoot my self, or do something else really stupid. I had a nother simalar event happed three days ago, when thise attacks of depression and rage happed I can't control my self. The depression turns to sarrow, the sarrow turns to anger, the anger turns to rage and then I snap, when I happens I am afraid I might hirt or kill some one. I have had depression, and rage attacks befor, but never so bad I thought I was a threat to the people around me, so I run from the stress and the pain because if I don't run.........

[Desuetude]

You don't have to run. No good will come of it, you will have no food, money, shelter. Your family and friends would be anxious and worried, can you imagine the thoughts running through their mind whilst they're wondering when you'll be back?
You don't have to live with the pain, you can get help, ask for it from your parents, school, your GP might even be able to point you in the right direction but running away from the problem, which in this case is anger, will solve nothing. Everything you started with will still be there plus a whole load more shit added on top. I suggest you take a read of this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1174362&postcount=1) thread if you haven't already. Ask yourself some of those questions and really think about what you're trying to gain by running away.
It doesn't have to be an option. Things can get better if you allow yourself to open up and let people in to help you.

[Fiction]

Now do you mean running as in the physical action? Or running as in running away from home?

If you mean the first one, then that's a good thing. If you mean the second, maybe you could use running, as in the physical action, as a way to cope.

I had an issue a few years ago with impulsive running away. I would get in a situation I didn't want to be in, and just run. It was a mix of anger, depression, like what you've described. I would just run off whether I was at home, at school, wherever I was. Whereas I wasn't being as angry towards others as you explained, I was towards myself. I would go around shops trying to buy as many tablets as I could to take, or I would walk home in the middle of a busy road, or I would go out and cut myself to pieces.

One thing I did find though, is that the action of actually running allowed me to calm down a bit. It releases that anger in a much more healthy way than getting angry.

So; my advice, when you feel this mood coming on, get out of your house and just run. Keep running until you're exhausted, and see what that does to your mood. It may prevent you from getting so angry, and it may lessen any anger you do feel. :)

Other things I would suggest is writing in a diary, although I think what you're explaining needs a more physical approach, such as running.

[Texas warrior]

I don't mean run from home, I just run.

[jessiecox1]

If you mean running (as in the exercise), that's a good way to release stress/tension/anger. Do that whenever you start to feel that way, but be safe when you do it.

[Desuetude]

I don't mean run from home, I just run.
Haha my post looks stupid then, oh well, it's there if anyone needs it.

Running is a great way to cope, it relieves anger, stress and in a way that doesn't harm your body as long as you're sensible about things. It's good that you've found something that works for you, keep at it.

[Smeagol]

I run to cope. I run for ages and ages. It really does work, good luck :hug:

[Texas warrior]

Yea but all the shit in my life is still there when I get back.

[Iron Man]

I am in a similar situation. Sometimes I just want to run away from my problems, but in the end, you can't just run when the going gets tough. You have to face your problems head on, because you feel a lot worse when you just sit there and think about how everything is shit. For instance, the first time that my mom's boyfriend tried to start shit with me, I just let it happen, and I cried, as his words spun around in my head. The second time he did, I actually stood up for myself, and I felt empowered, as if a tremendous burden was lifted from my shoulders.

It may seem cliche, but you have to focus on the good in life, rather than just the bad.

[Texas warrior]

I am in a similar situation. Sometimes I just want to run away from my problems, but in the end, you can't just run when the going gets tough. You have to face your problems head on, because you feel a lot worse when you just sit there and think about how everything is shit. For instance, the first time that my mom's boyfriend tried to start shit with me, I just let it happen, and I cried, as his words spun around in my head. The second time he did, I actually stood up for myself, and I felt empowered, as if a tremendous burden was lifted from my shoulders.

It may seem cliche, but you have to focus on the good in life, rather than just the bad.

I almost always face my problems face my problems head on. But when the rage hits home I can't face it, I am afraid if I do I will kill someone. I want to face it but I can't, and when I run I feel like shit for it.