Alcoholism

[Fiction]

Okay, this is something i've never really mentioned on this site before, but something I guess, I know I need to stop now.

For the last 3 years i've been using alcohol to cope. Pretty much since the first time I got drunk, just under 3 years ago. Just a few months after that I started drinking alone, stealing my parents alcohol.

It went away and it came back over that period. When I say it went away, I mean during my eating disorders I was too petrified of the calories alcohol contained to drink it, and that was all that has ever stopped me.

I'm tipsy as I write this, so I apologise if this doesn't make sense.

A while back when my life really hit rock bottom, just before my last suicide attempt I was getting drunk every 2 or 3 days, alone, without fail. Suddenly my life improved. I stopped getting drunk, at least not alone. My life hasn't got worse at all, but I find the past haunting me. I find myself thinking constantly and I find myself drinking. I'm back to at least once a week, sometimes twice. I'm not too the extent that I used too, but back then I had a reason, an excuse. I wanted to die. Now I don't. I plan to live but I can see this becoming a problem. I'm 18 in 1 year 1 month. Once I can buy alcohol, what's stopping me? It's been 3 years. Will I ever stop? This isn't a temporary coping method anymore is it?

Am I an alcoholic? I wouldn't class myself as one yet, but I know I'm on my way and could so easily become one. What do I do?

I can see my whole life is going to end up dominated by alcohol, cutting, suicide. When you're a teenager it's only a small part of your life, you never see it lasting. And when you're suicidal, how much you fuck your body up doesn't matter. But i'm not suicidal and I soon won't be a teenager. I need to sort myself out.

What the hell am I meant to do? :/

[Clawhammer]

It's only won when you stop fighting it. Doesn't mean it's easy, it's hard as hell. And you may not believe it now, but things could turn around. One step for each day, and every bit of resistance you put up against it counts. You can force yourself to rise above it, it happens every day. It hurts, but less than staying where you are.
Don't focus on the problem, focus on the other side of matters. Just remember that you can, and if you really do want to, then you will. Start with small steps and just keep going when it seems impossible.
Best of luck to you, lass.

[FullyAlive]

I might have got this completely wrong but personally I'd say you're far from being an alcoholic. Its a bad idea to use alcohol as a coping method especially at this age but its also something a lot of teenagers do. I wouldn't say your behaviour is far from out the ordinary. However if you are concerned you should always just go to talk to a professional.

I think its worth noting you display few of the behaviour traits an alcoholic might, first off you think there might be a problem this wouldn't be recognised without help for an alcoholic, second you leave the house you have an active social life and drinking doesn't get in the way you don't stay in every day to drink as oppose to socialise, thirdly you don't hoard it or hide it.

This is just my opinion and as I said I could be wrong but I don't think this is anything you should be overly concerned about. Just be careful because as you said it is bad for your health.

[ImCoolBeans]

I would not go as far to say that you are an alcoholic, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a bit of a problem.

Alcohol was something that I've used to just forget about things going on in my life, to sweep things under the rug for later and to hide from my problems rather than facing them. Up until around easter time I would get drunk often, two times per week about, and I didn't like where I was heading. I confided in a friend who I spoke with about it pretty in depth. I came to the conclusion, with his help, that I was not an alcoholic, but that if I continued down that path that it was bound to become that.

I don't want to see you go further down that path, Kathy, because as you know it can be a pretty scary place. Waking up not remembering what happened the night before; what you did, what you said, who you said it to... Not good at all. Alcohol is a dangerous thing to turn to, especially when you're venerable because it only worsens matters.

I think it's time to give up or seriously cut back on the alcohol because it's not going to lead you anywhere good, Kath. I know how easy it is to use as a crutch and how it can make it seem like it's helping you with your problems, but in all honesty is isn't helping you with anything, only ruining your health physically and mentally.

If you ever need to talk you know how to get to me, hope you're able to start sorting things out.

[Fiction]

It's only won when you stop fighting it. Doesn't mean it's easy, it's hard as hell. And you may not believe it now, but things could turn around. One step for each day, and every bit of resistance you put up against it counts. You can force yourself to rise above it, it happens every day. It hurts, but less than staying where you are.
Don't focus on the problem, focus on the other side of matters. Just remember that you can, and if you really do want to, then you will. Start with small steps and just keep going when it seems impossible.
Best of luck to you, lass.

Thank you, that is extremely encouraging and helpful :)

I would not go as far to say that you are an alcoholic, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a bit of a problem.

Alcohol was something that I've used to just forget about things going on in my life, to sweep things under the rug for later and to hide from my problems rather than facing them. Up until around easter time I would get drunk often, two times per week about, and I didn't like where I was heading. I confided in a friend who I spoke with about it pretty in depth. I came to the conclusion, with his help, that I was not an alcoholic, but that if I continued down that path that it was bound to become that.

I don't want to see you go further down that path, Kathy, because as you know it can be a pretty scary place. Waking up not remembering what happened the night before; what you did, what you said, who you said it to... Not good at all. Alcohol is a dangerous thing to turn to, especially when you're venerable because it only worsens matters.

I think it's time to give up or seriously cut back on the alcohol because it's not going to lead you anywhere good, Kath. I know how easy it is to use as a crutch and how it can make it seem like it's helping you with your problems, but in all honesty is isn't helping you with anything, only ruining your health physically and mentally.

If you ever need to talk you know how to get to me, hope you're able to start sorting things out.

Thanks Mike. I know it's bad and i've confided in my boyfriend about this. He said that if we can't do it by ourselves he'll get me professional help. I'm not happy about this but I do need to sort myself out. He said that it's harder for him to accept I need help, but he said that drinking is a borderline problem. Sorry, i'm rambing. I'm drunk again. But yeah, just tahnk you. You've done alot for me larely. xx

[georgiamay]

Anyway, this could potentially turn into a problem further down the line, but right now, you're not that close to being classed as an alcoholic. You haven't mentioned feeling like you need alcohol to function, just that you drink a lot to cope with stuff, but a lot of people do that who are not alcoholics. It's something that's worth keeping an eye on, but after having experiences with more than one alcoholic in my family, I can tell you that right now, you're not dependent, and I'm sure you'll be able to manage this problem.

[ImCoolBeans]

Let's keep this on topic. I don't want to see personal disagreements or anything if that nature carried over here. If you have a personal comment to make about another situation don't post it here, take it up out of the forums.