The Tricky Part....

[JustAnotherGay]

Hey Guys, so, if you haven't worked out from my username...I'm Gay. I've known for a while now, and have grown to accept myself for who I am. But, I am still closeted for a number of reasons. 1st is my family, and 2nd is my religion. My family are really close knit. We live like within 2 miles of each other, but my family are also quite religious (as am I), and condone homosexuality, as do my church (a lot!). I'm kinda worried that if I come out, they will reject me for who I am, and I don't know if I could take that, because I love them so much. And, as for my religion, homosexuality is a no-go area. Scriptures in the bible like Leviticus 18 are always brought up. My view is that only God can judge me therefore, I can be who I want to be, and still believe in Christ. Church is also a big part of my life, and I have made many friendships there, and go to the Christian youth groups that run. I am worried that if I come out, those friendships will break and I will no longer be welcome in my church. I would love to come out, I have never told anyone how I really feel, and don't know what to do.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you have any advice, Please comment! :)

[Lovemeorleaveme]

Try coming out to some school friends first, that way when you come out to your family you have a support group if your family does reject you.

[JustAnotherGay]

Try coming out to some school friends first, that way when you come out to your family you have a support group if your family does reject you. i've got my siblings that go to my school, and I'd be worried that they would find out. aaahhh, just dont know what to do... :(

[CrossingtheCourtyard]

If you are that worried, perhaps you should wait a little while before coming out to your family and your religious community--at least until you are a bit less dependent on them (as in not still living with them).

As for your church... Well I don't know what to say for that. Hopefully they'll still accept you. I can't say much as I am not Christian.

[Stronger]

If you feel that you will be rejected, then don't come out yet, but maybe what you could do is, talk to maybe one or two friends and ask them on their views on gay people, all that and if you feel their responses are great than maybe tell them. With your family, that could maybe be a bit more difficult, but maybe do the same as I said to do with your friends and see where things go. Bottom line, just take your time, don't rush and do it when you feel truely comfortable with telling people.

[iCookie Jar]

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

This is the philosophy I've taken on recently, and it's so true.

I don't want to start a Religious feud here, but who's to say you have to stay with the Church whom have such out dated views on matters like this. Why can't you be loved by God and be openly Gay? Because the rules say so? Based on my experiences, I'd say you've got one of two options:

1) Tell your closest friends. It's good to have people you can talk to about the way you feel, about who you are. Yes, it's risky coming out at school when you have siblings there. I had three other siblings at school when I told everyone; they're still clueless because the people i trusted the people I told. Or

2) You can wait until you've moved away from home. I don't mean 2 miles, I mean whole cities. It's inevitable that you'll find a life that fits your lifestyle. Tell them then, if they're not okay with the way you where made then they don't matter; yes, even if they are your family.

You can't let fear or abhorrence or angst stop you from being you. Life's to short for it.

Personally, I'd shout it at them. Tell them that you're proud God made you the way you are (then dramatically walk out the door). Tbh, I think they'd be surprisingly accepting.

Hope I helped! (Sorry for the rage) xx

[JustAnotherGay]

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

This is the philosophy I've taken on recently, and it's so true.

I don't want to start a Religious feud here, but who's to say you have to stay with the Church whom have such out dated views on matters like this. Why can't you be loved by God and be openly Gay? Because the rules say so? Based on my experiences, I'd say you've got one of two options:

1) Tell your closest friends. It's good to have people you can talk to about the way you feel, about who you are. Yes, it's risky coming out at school when you have siblings there. I had three other siblings at school when I told everyone; they're still clueless because the people i trusted the people I told. Or

2) You can wait until you've moved away from home. I don't mean 2 miles, I mean whole cities. It's inevitable that you'll find a life that fits your lifestyle. Tell them then, if they're not okay with the way you where made then they don't matter; yes, even if they are your family.

You can't let fear or abhorrence or angst stop you from being you. Life's to short for it.

Personally, I'd shout it at them. Tell them that you're proud God made you the way you are (then dramatically walk out the door). Tbh, I think they'd be surprisingly accepting.

Hope I helped! (Sorry for the rage) xx
I totally agree with your post! It does annoy me when religions pick and choose what to believe and abide by, and that philosophy quote from Dr Seuss, I love it! I just need to work out what I'm going to do now. Thank You So Much! :D x

[xDILLIGAFx]

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[KarkatLuv]

I personally believe that churches only follow closely to the homosexuality being wrong thing because they don't like it, not because it is written in the bible that it is. Yes it is written in the bible that it is wrong, but it is also written that a child misbehaving is punishable by death, a father whos daughter has had sexual intercourse out of wedlock is punishable by death. If your family or church or friends reject you they don't diserve you, and don't diserve to be in your life

[SamB]

I know exactly how you feel, this is similar to what I was and to some extent still going through it is a very difficult area of anyone's life, and first off you need to know that there will always be people there for you and here is a great place to find them and also there is lots of people going through the same situation.

With the family situation you should know that they will always love you unconditionally and even if they don't accept the fact that you are gay they will one day come to terms with it and eventually accept it navies it is part of of you are and not something that can be changed.

With church you have the right attitude as to god making the decision an he is the only one who can judge you, and no matter what he will love you no matter what. Personally I believe that the verses in the bible about homosexuality aren't against gays because there was no such thing as homosexuality when the bible was written, there has only web a label do it for the past 100 years or so. The verses in the bible are actually against sex outside of marriage and ex between two men or two women. But I personally believe that is because it was not possible for two people of the same sex to get married. So I think now that it is possible for them to marry it is not against the bible.

Hope this helps, if you have more questions just ask :)

[Athlete15]

As you get older and grow more, the fact that no one knows your sexuality, and therefore have no one to talk to about it, will irk you. You just gotta find the right person you can trust, and when the moment feels right you just let it out.

For me, I thought I would never tell anyone but it kept nipping at me and I finally just let it out in conversation to my closest friend.