ryantombs
May 19th, 2012, 12:49 AM
Well guys, stopped in november with using a knife and for a lil bit i would pinch or something but that stopped. But today wa the first time i really contemplated getting a blade. I also pinched my skin on my hands. It hurts no broken skin. Basically my dads sayin i have a good life and he gives me everything but i give nothing in return. This morning i lost my school book and i needed it for an open book test. Well my mom was at work and dad at home. Called my mom... Since i still couldnt go to my dad. We were talking he over heard. I had a plan to get out of the test. I come down he asks in a nasty tone wheres the book. I said idk. It turned into me saying this is why i cant go to you for anything. Then he goes nuts. My bro is standing there and my dad asks him if he goes nuts and my bro says yes and he went bizzerk. So it ended up my running out of the house and walking to first my dr then to my grand fathers then to a park to wait for my mom to pick me up. So she picks me uparound 830 and then i go into a wooded area till 1030 to sleep and wait for the open book test to be over. It was nice quite relaxing besides being worried someone will see me. But i needed that. School went
Decent. After skool took the dogs for a walk then went to see my therapist to talk, emergency appt. after us talkin we brought my mom in. We all talked but no dad. Came to the conclusion that they need to go in with my therapist to talk parenting (not mom but dad). Ok ok i feel better. Now its like 6. I come home cut a lawn as my parents go out. They come back my dad throws my keys at me and says have fun to night. I say ok. Hes mad about everything including therapist. Now i go out with my gf and my friends who are bf and gf. Nice double date. Ended up not coming home till 1245. Was supposed to be comin home at 12 am. But honestly i was so happy and not once did my thoughts of the day wwere in mind. I needed this. Get home and my parents are waiting. They ask where and who. I tell them. My mom says ok yur not going anywhere this weekend. You were supposed to be home at 12 yu werent. A bit mad, but fair. Then my father gets into it. I keep saying i dont want to talk. Dr tropp (therapist) says i dont have to its best for me. But ended up saying i stayed out because i need time away from you. And hes like ok and stuff long story short. I want to get out of my house. Im speaking with my gp tomorrow just about stuff.
But the reason im posting is 1) to rant
2) support
3) while my dad was bring nasty just before saying i will basicallly fail i was pinching myself and shaking. I showe my mom the marks and said i gtg. She stopped it and he basically said i cant be left alone.
But this is the first time since like november.
Idk i just want him out or me out for a few days.
I told him idc about the new car i want a father i can go to. If anyone wants to or can talk please pm me. Its almost 2am here but i will respond asap.
Thanks
Decent. After skool took the dogs for a walk then went to see my therapist to talk, emergency appt. after us talkin we brought my mom in. We all talked but no dad. Came to the conclusion that they need to go in with my therapist to talk parenting (not mom but dad). Ok ok i feel better. Now its like 6. I come home cut a lawn as my parents go out. They come back my dad throws my keys at me and says have fun to night. I say ok. Hes mad about everything including therapist. Now i go out with my gf and my friends who are bf and gf. Nice double date. Ended up not coming home till 1245. Was supposed to be comin home at 12 am. But honestly i was so happy and not once did my thoughts of the day wwere in mind. I needed this. Get home and my parents are waiting. They ask where and who. I tell them. My mom says ok yur not going anywhere this weekend. You were supposed to be home at 12 yu werent. A bit mad, but fair. Then my father gets into it. I keep saying i dont want to talk. Dr tropp (therapist) says i dont have to its best for me. But ended up saying i stayed out because i need time away from you. And hes like ok and stuff long story short. I want to get out of my house. Im speaking with my gp tomorrow just about stuff.
But the reason im posting is 1) to rant
2) support
3) while my dad was bring nasty just before saying i will basicallly fail i was pinching myself and shaking. I showe my mom the marks and said i gtg. She stopped it and he basically said i cant be left alone.
But this is the first time since like november.
Idk i just want him out or me out for a few days.
I told him idc about the new car i want a father i can go to. If anyone wants to or can talk please pm me. Its almost 2am here but i will respond asap.
Thanks