Is it wrong to not love your Parents?

[Stephen1944]

I’ve never told anyone I loved them. When I was growing up, I never heard my parents tell me they loved me. Only once, when I got very drunk alone and depressed one year ago when I was 17. I was so sad and angry, I wanted to leave home and walk to a nightclub party that I was missing out on because I wasn’t properly invited by my friends (they had left me out and I had to ring them up to find out which depressed me).

My parents realized I was drunk and tried to stop me and I got upset and my Mother tried to physically stop me and I threw her aside and she fell over and started crying and begging me to stop but I just wanted to leave. My father came down and when I tried to get past them again, he subdued me and got me on the floor. I went to fight him because the alcohol had fuelled my anger, but he calmed me down.

I said I didn’t care about anything except my school work and getting good grades to go to University. Mum sympathised and said she loved mefor the first time. Then Dad, also for the first time, said he loved me and he only wanted the best for me because he’s my father. This was the most emotional thing my parents have ever said to me and it took a roaring drunk fumble to bring it out of them. I didn’t say anything; I didn’t know what to say. Even when I was at my most honest and open state because of the alcohol, I simply couldn’t bring myself to say ‘I love you too’. I get on OK with my parents generally, even if they do irritate me a lot of the time.

I don’t know if I love them. I think I could manage well if one of them died, but of course I’d be sad. I don’t really know how much I’d miss them if I spent all my time in university. I look forward to living alone in my new University home. I’ll have full control over my lifestyle there. I think I’ll miss more the things that they do for me like cooking and washing my clothes and taking care of things, rather than missing them in person. I don’t think I love anyone.

I get on well with my friends. Except, I don’t really speak to any of them much, except in School. I do get lonely. I’ll be less lonely after the exams when I’m free again. That’s only in a few weeks. For now, I have to pay the price of loneliness in order to do well in my exams. I can find refuge in my literature and studying and hobbies.

Anyone like to relate or share?

[Shadowsinthedark]

Although I tell my dad that I love him a fair bit, and I tell my mum every now and then too, I don't really feel that bond that most people feel with their parents. Sometimes it feels like I say I love them just to keep them happy, not because I actually mean it all that much when I say it.
However, that doesn't entirely mean that I don't love them at all, because they are the people who brought me up and I still rely on them for physical support (such as food and shelter), but not so much emotional support, as I tend to go through quite a lot on my own.
As a child, I was kind of close to my parents, but closer to my dad than I was to my mum. But since I've grown up a bit and become a bit more independent, we seem to have grown so far apart they don't even know who I am any more, they know little to nothing about me. I don't really have much of a bond with either of my parents, if ever I have a problem, I'll usually just keep it quiet and sort it myself, or as a very last resort, turn to my best friend for advice. I don't rely on my parents for emotional support at all and I don't feel like I can trust them.
This doesn't mean that I feel no love for them at all, but I just feel like I don't really love them as much as most people love their parents and I don't feel like I can turn to them because of this.
So no, in my opinion I don't think it's wrong not to love your parents, as some people just never developed that strong bond with their parents, a bond that is strong enough to never break, and as a result of this, those people never really feel that powerful love for their parents and they learn to be independent, just like you and I.
I'm here if you would ever like someone to talk to :).

[Jess]

I love my parents, but I don't tell them that directly (don't ask why). I'm sure they love me as well (and my brothers), but they don't say it to me or my brothers - I guess they're one of those people that don't show open affection or whatever

[Destructive Impulse]

If it makes you feel any better my parents dint love me :\ii

[Electra Heart]

It really depends I think... Under certain circumstances, I suppose it would be ok, I only love one of my parents after all. It's all about why you may not love them in my opinion.

[ImCoolBeans]

I only love one of my parents. After a certain point and after a lot of hurt I find it hard to make myself say it, especially when I myself know that I don't mean it, so I don't say to him.

[Stephen1944]

Thankyou all for your replies.
Whether you say you love your parents or not, would anyone like to describe what it feels like to love your parents? Try to define it in not how you express it, but simply what you really feel about them and what it would be like if you were to lose them.

For me, I'm very grateful to my parents for their physical support (as Shadowsinthedark put it very well). I mean in the sense of how they wash my clothes and make me dinner and give me a house to live in. But I think a sense of gratitude is quite different from loving them, whatever that means.

It would be interesting to receive answers about your ideas and concepts of parental love.

[Destructive Impulse]

Id say i love my parents because like you said they provide for me. Granted they may not be the best parents i still will try to make them proud of me even if i do always fall short.