My self harming

[Psiana]

So I just thought I should find a place to tell somebody, even if it is random strangers about my self-harming.
I started January 2011, with very shallow almost scratch like cuts along my calf, and seeing as I forgot to cover them up my mother found out, but at least I managed to pass it off as a horrible fall at school.
Basically this all started because my mother found a boyfriend. My mum had single handedly raised me since birth, at that point in time I was 15 going into year 11. I thought I was happy with him until I actually got to know the pig. So within three months we all moved in together which meant adding two step bothers (13, 19) into the mix. So this is were it stared getting bad. I couldn't go a week without cutting, It made everything seem better, just something I could control. Four months into there relationship they become engaged which lead to some deeper cuts on my thigh while away with school, which makes it very hard to hid.
So basically a whole year passes with various cuts every week to fortnight and then I finally stopped. For no reason I just didn't get the erg to cut. That was until the fateful night before my year 12 half yearly s (which I was still 15 so I had a lot of stress on top of family issues)
.....
I took a panadol overdose. Yep ended up feeling very sick and eventual told my mother who in a fit of tears took me to the emergency ward.
This adventure led to a few moths of consul-ling in which I didn't mention anything about the cutting. So after a month of free of bad thoughts my Mum got married, and two days after I cut, while on our family cruise, which I don't suggest because it makes it very hard to cover up at the beaches. After setting myself straight I kept clean for another month until tonight. So these are deeper then ever before but don't worry because I'm fully trained in first aid.

In top of my new found family issues, I am bi-sexual which makes matters worse because my new step-father says gays shouldn't exist (he's not religious, he's just a pig). And I am forced to provided everything for myself including food, clothing, education costs and travel even though my mum only allows me to work one day a week which equals $70 a week.

I feel a little better now knowing that somebody else knows my secret. Thanks for "listening"

[JennyPenny2016]

Well that is a lot like my story but if you need me message me and i am there for you :)

[StoppingTime]

So I just thought I should find a place to tell somebody, even if it is random strangers about my self-harming.

You would be surprised how helpful this can be. There are people here just like you, wanting to help. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed about it.


I started January 2011, with very shallow almost scratch like cuts along my calf, and seeing as I forgot to cover them up my mother found out, but at least I managed to pass it off as a horrible fall at school.
Basically this all started because my mother found a boyfriend. My mum had single handedly raised me since birth, at that point in time I was 15 going into year 11. I thought I was happy with him until I actually got to know the pig. So within three months we all moved in together which meant adding two step bothers (13, 19) into the mix. So this is were it stared getting bad. I couldn't go a week without cutting, It made everything seem better, just something I could control.

In the beginning, that's very common. You are so overwhelmed, you just need a way out, that could, temporarily, make you feel better. It gives the affect that it is helping, but in reality, it is already doing you damage.
Don't feel guilty though. You can't change the past, so don't dwell on mistakes. Think about ways that you can fix them now.


Four months into there relationship they become engaged which lead to some deeper cuts on my thigh while away with school, which makes it very hard to hid.
So basically a whole year passes with various cuts every week to fortnight and then I finally stopped. For no reason I just didn't get the urge to cut. That was until the fateful night before my year 12 half yearly s (which I was still 15 so I had a lot of stress on top of family issues)

Can you recall what made you just 'stop'? Whatever it was, it obviously helped you. If you can think of that, you may be able to use it again.


.....
I took a panadol overdose. Yep ended up feeling very sick and eventual told my mother who in a fit of tears took me to the emergency ward.
This adventure led to a few moths of consul-ling in which I didn't mention anything about the cutting. So after a month of free of bad thoughts my Mum got married, and two days after I cut, while on our family cruise, which I don't suggest because it makes it very hard to cover up at the beaches. After setting myself straight I kept clean for another month until tonight. So these are deeper then ever before but don't worry because I'm fully trained in first aid.

How have you and your mother been since then? Does she understand you, and try to help?
And please, even though you may be trained in first aid, if you feel necessary, get help. As I'm sure you know, the cuts could get badly infected, leading to more problems, instead, just get checked out to make sure everything is alright.


In top of my new found family issues, I am bi-sexual which makes matters worse because my new step-father says gays shouldn't exist (he's not religious, he's just a pig). And I am forced to provided everything for myself including food, clothing, education costs and travel even though my mum only allows me to work one day a week which equals $70 a week.

I know it may be hard, but don't listen to a word he says. He's wrong. You've got every right to exist, that's just how you are, and there is no way to change it.
Are you able to talk to people in your life about your situation? This is always one of the best things to do. They are there to listen, and to help. As a side note, how old are you? Of course, you should not have to provide those things for yourself, and someone needs to know who can help.


I feel a little better now knowing that somebody else knows my secret. Thanks for "listening"


We are always here to help you. If you ever need advice, want to talk, or just vent about a situation, there are many people here (myself included) who are here to help and listen.

[RememberingSunday]

To be honest, your step dad sounds like a homophobic butt head, nobody has the right to say things like that. You've got a lot of crap to deal with and you're doing a lot better than some people would in that kind of situation. How old are you though? If you are expected to provide for yourself like that at a young age then somebody should be notified, like social services or something. I'll always be here if you need me.