Im scared

[Lovemeorleaveme]

:(Im 13 and it was only recently i started to think i was bi and now i know i am but im scared that if i tell my friends they might not think of me the same again and that it might ruin our friendships


Edit:Hey guys since i posted this ive come out to 5 friends and im planning on coming out to my mom soon thanks for the advice.

[Noobzilla]

Its quite possible and likely that they would, and I personally dont think you should tell them for several reasons that il try to explain

considering your age your still developing and in puberty, so your body is very hormonal and you are likely to have an attraction to both genders (vice versa with guys) so you might not actually be bisexual. Id personally wait till your a bit older before you label yourself publically as bi.

You (im guessing/assuming) havnt had a lot of experience emotionally or sexually. Wait till your older and have had a few relationships with both genders and then you can know what feels right for you and what your happy with (its critical you dont think about what others think of you)

now considering your surroundings atm, your social life is likely to revolve around mainly school (friends in school, friends who go to same school etc) in your position your friends could be a bit immature and have preconceived ideas or a bit uneducated which is common in the teen agegroup. I wouldnt risk it and wait till your older not only because of the main reasons above but because you will have more developed closer friendships to the end of your schooling and people are likely to be far more mature and even then you will be leaving school not too long afterwards and will be in college/work/the big world where you can be openly bisexual and will find friends who are just like you. This is just something im suggesting to consider since well your stuck at school for another few years and its the same people every year and i wouldnt want you to have any hassle or for any bullying to occur but the best friends are those you can rely upon and confide in and will accept you for who you are so if you got someone you trust just now then id talk to them about it, simply telling them "I think i might be bisexual"

[norcaldude18]

im 17 and i feel the same way. i havnt told anyone because im afraid they wont treat me the same.

[Lovemeorleaveme]

Its quite possible and likely that they would, and I personally dont think you should tell them for several reasons that il try to explain

considering your age your still developing and in puberty, so your body is very hormonal and you are likely to have an attraction to both genders (vice versa with guys) so you might not actually be bisexual. Id personally wait till your a bit older before you label yourself publically as bi.

You (im guessing/assuming) havnt had a lot of experience emotionally or sexually. Wait till your older and have had a few relationships with both genders and then you can know what feels right for you and what your happy with (its critical you dont think about what others think of you)

now considering your surroundings atm, your social life is likely to revolve around mainly school (friends in school, friends who go to same school etc) in your position your friends could be a bit immature and have preconceived ideas or a bit uneducated which is common in the teen agegroup. I wouldnt risk it and wait till your older not only because of the main reasons above but because you will have more developed closer friendships to the end of your schooling and people are likely to be far more mature and even then you will be leaving school not too long afterwards and will be in college/work/the big world where you can be openly bisexual and will find friends who are just like you. This is just something im suggesting to consider since well your stuck at school for another few years and its the same people every year and i wouldnt want you to have any hassle or for any bullying to occur but the best friends are those you can rely upon and confide in and will accept you for who you are so if you got someone you trust just now then id talk to them about it, simply telling them "I think i might be bisexual"
thanks ill keep that in mind

[KarkatLuv]

well you can never know how these things will turn out, but I know that people can be pretty immature. Last year I told one friend, she accepted me but told everyone else, so now I'm out to everyone in my agegroup and they accept me, only problem being that I also told her a guy that I liked at the time, and she got drunk and told him so we don't talk anymore. Point being if you did tell them you would be taking an extreme risk, but if they all care enough about your friendship they really shouldn't care.

[Bojan]

I'd say at your age to just tell someone you really trust and it's not something that you need to tell. I told my best friend when I was 14 that I was bi but I knew he wouldn't care. If you feel you need to tell someone than be as sure as you can that they will accept you and if they are a true friend they will

[swimgurl97]

i would keep it to yourself until you really know how you feel. You still developing purberty so it could be your hormones.

[Stronger]

No one is forcing you to come out, if you don't feel comfortable then don't. But you're 13, just starting puberty, you have a ton of time to figure yourself out. Care to give some details as to how you think you are bi? You could be confusing being bi with being curious, either way it is completely normal, nothing to be scared with at all.

When I was you're age, I was the same, I had thoughts of liking guys, all that, going through my head, but I was scared to accept the truth so I tried to hid them, at 17 it's something that I completely accept, while I may not have come to full terms, but I do believe I could be bi, and its something that I'm not scared of.

Check this sticky out (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=125182) it might give you the answers to any questions you may be asking yourself. Just pace yourself in steps, like I said you have a ton of time to figure yourslf out, and once you do, you yourself can make any descisions in wanting to come out to family, friends, whoever you want.

[Lovemeorleaveme]

No one is forcing you to come out, if you don't feel comfortable then don't. But you're 13, just starting puberty, you have a ton of time to figure yourself out. Care to give some details as to how you think you are bi? You could be confusing being bi with being curious, either way it is completely normal, nothing to be scared with at all.

When I was you're age, I was the same, I had thoughts of liking guys, all that, going through my head, but I was scared to accept the truth so I tried to hid them, at 17 it's something that I completely accept, while I may not have come to full terms, but I do believe I could be bi, and its something that I'm not scared of.

Check this sticky out (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=125182) it might give you the answers to any questions you may be asking yourself. Just pace yourself in steps, like I said you have a ton of time to figure yourslf out, and once you do, you yourself can make any descisions in wanting to come out to family, friends, whoever you want.

im not just starting puberty that happened 4 years ago

[Noobzilla]

Puberty doesnt really stop till your 20's (though slows down significantly after 17 ish)

[CacaoToCacao]

I've been through this and I'm leaning more towards the gay side now. All my closest friends know and absolutely nothing has changed between us. But I honestly think there's no such thing as bisexual. It's one or the other.

[Ryhanna]

If you don't feel comfortable telling people, or aren't entirely sure of your sexuality yourself, then don't tell anyone yet. You shouldn't feel pressure to come out if you're not ready.

It's all up to you. :)

[Lovemeorleaveme]

Hey thanks guys since ive posted this ive come out to 5 friend and they've all been accepting, when i first posted this I was really confused and was kinda having a mild panic attack, I am 100% sure Im bi. Thanks for all the advice I have taken everything into concideration.

[Bojan]

Congratulations on coming out I'm glad it went well for u

[Danny.Robertson]

If you don't feel comfortable with coming out of the closet then wait until it feels right. If your friends do look at you and say 'I can't be your friend anymore because im homophobic' or something along those lines then think, were they really your friends? I have been coming out to people when it feels right to and I have had no issues arising, but I don't know whether that is just pot luck or not, just do what feels right to you.

[Joshy1305]

If they are truly your friends they wouldent judge you and understand you . Simple as that :)

[james wolf]

Maybe you're not bi? You are young, and your sexuality might change 1,000 times before it's fixed.

[Skyhawk]

Before you even get on the topic of coming out, you're 13. Chances are your hormones are screwing with you.

I'd give it time before coming out.

Anyway, if you still want to come out, if your friends won't accept you then they aren't your friends, mmkay?