my adoption.. :/

[Jupiter]

so, in case anyone doesn't know.. my father has cancer. or maybe he doesn't. They honestly don't know. He starts his treatments Tuesday. These could be dangerous for him.
So, I was thinking about having him adopt me, because for those who don't know, Roger Lee is not my real dad. Some reasons why I should have him adopt me.... (don't judge....)

-Well, we love each other and aren't afraid to show it.
-This way there is closure.
-I do get money for college and stuff if he dies soon.
-I would be more than glad to have him as my legal father.


Reasons we shouldn't...
-Then my real dad Art gets out of paying his 75,000 dollars that he has never ever paid for child support.
-We are practically already father and son, so would the paper make the difference?
-I don't know how to bring it up to him.
-I don't think my mom wants people knowing that she had me with some random dude.

____________________________________________________________________________

So what are your guys thoughts?

[Destructive Impulse]

-I do get money for college and stuff if he dies soon.
Ouch. That's alittle cold. And this whole situation is alittle confusing so do you mind clarifying it for me?

[Jupiter]

He has cancer, and the family is tight on money. Not that I want him to die,

[Destructive Impulse]

No I mean clarify the situation with the adoption.

[Dimitri]

Just ask him, tell you mom first and ask him...simple and I am sure nothing would be more pleasing to him than anything in the world.

[Jupiter]

I always want to talk to him about it, but then I get chickened out. Maybe I shouldn't.... Because, I mean, what is a paper.

[Dimitri]

WOuld your mother be happy with it, talk to her then she can help you along with it, she won't let you chicken out...you can do it, you now how to get ahold of me...unfortunately I am going to bed now but please, let me know bud. You can do it.

[Destructive Impulse]

But Is it really adopting if you already have a parent? I'm just confused as to how he would adopt you and your current relationship to him.

Also definitely talk to your mom

[Jupiter]

Roger isn't my real dad. He is my step dad.

[Destructive Impulse]

Well if he's your step dad isn't that the same thing. Your still his ward and hes your legal guardian. He can leave you and your mom will get his money when (hopefully not anytime soon) he dies.

[Short Circuit]

Roger isn't my real dad. He is my step dad.

How sad that statement is.

Who is the one who has raised you, nurtured you, attended your recitals, fed you, put clothes on your back? THAT is what a real dad does!

A father is just a sperm doner to make a baby!

[DerBear]

-Well, we love each other and aren't afraid to show it.
-This way there is closure.
-I do get money for college and stuff if he dies soon.
-I would be more than glad to have him as my legal father.


Reasons we shouldn't...
-Then my real dad Art gets out of paying his 75,000 dollars that he has never ever paid for child support.
-We are practically already father and son, so would the paper make the difference?
-I don't know how to bring it up to him.
-I don't think my mom wants people knowing that she had me with some random dude.

Well you love each other.
You would want him to be your legal father
You get closure but by how much really? you will always wonder about your biological father.In the event that this man became your father and he did pass away it could give you closure but it could hurt even more.
As for the college money you need to take that out the equation because that's a maybe to start with and you cannot let this cloud your mind.

As for the 75thousand $ are you getting closure by having this always in your mind. Also if you really want this other man to adopt you then you should be able to put by this aspect.
The paper makes it official but if you love each other and cannot get over the 75thousand $ aspect then this may be your best bet on what to do because that means that this Art guy would still have to pay, however, if he is not making payments then I don't think it would matter as he ain't paying for it in the first place.
As for bringing it up then you just need to move up and ask him straight. It's the only way.
The last thing is something you need to discuss with your mum.

Hope this helps Eric. You should do what you feel is right however you need to overcome certain feelings in order to make the right choice.

[dreamer18xx]

How sad that statement is.

Who is the one who has raised you, nurtured you, attended your recitals, fed you, put clothes on your back? THAT is what a real dad does!

A father is just a sperm doner to make a baby!

I think a father is all those things you stated and a man is just a sperm doner honestly x) if you don't step up and handle your responsibilities your not a good father just some man.

[botwa]

I think you should talk to your mother first.
you know it's a lot of paper work and maybe your father wouldn't be in the condition to go through that all.
and btw before he can be your legal father, your biological father must be deprived from the parental rights so there could be problems too if he refuses.
your father can write a will that will state something particularly about the money YOU inherit so it's a thing to think about and talk to your mother