Disowning my Parents

[xXoblivionXx]

When I was growing up my family (3 siblings + mom & dad )were really close. But now things are drifting away. Ever since I started cutting (they don't know) things have been different. In a way they are the ones that trigger my cutting. Because I try to avoid triggers I sort of avoid my family. I'm in my room a lot usually doing homework and stuff like that. They call me a hermit and tell me that I act like I'm not a part of this family. But the thing is it hurts me to see them. They have really big expectations for me and I don't meet them... I don't feel like a part of this family. I'm closer with my mom then with my dad. They just don't understand what I'm going through. I feel inferior when it comes to my family. When I have a really big urge to cut I have to get out of the house. The only way for me to cope is to go for a run, away from my family, away from it all and go to my secret spot in a tree where no one can hear or see me. A place on a trail where I can be at peace. But then I wake up to reality and have to go back home. My consoler thinks that I feel like my parents will disown me for cutting but honestly I think I have disowned them for not caring about me, for not realizing that something is wrong...

[Desuetude]

When I was growing up my family (3 siblings + mom & dad )were really close. But now things are drifting away. Ever since I started cutting (they don't know) things have been different.
Honestly my family are my biggest trigger where cutting is concerned, I just can't get away and it's hard, I know.
In a way they are the ones that trigger my cutting. Because I try to avoid triggers I sort of avoid my family. I'm in my room a lot usually doing homework and stuff like that. They call me a hermit and tell me that I act like I'm not a part of this family. But the thing is it hurts me to see them.
You are part of the family and although you might feel like you're an outsider looking in you can feel as though you're on of them again. You just have to try and join in with them. If they're watching TV downstairs maybe go and join them for 30 minutes, just talk and be around them. I know sometimes it can be a trigger but try and have fun with them and joke about and surely the more time you spend and become "one of them" again the less it will hurt, right?
They have really big expectations for me and I don't meet them... I don't feel like a part of this family. I'm closer with my mom then with my dad. They just don't understand what I'm going through. I feel inferior when it comes to my family. When I have a really big urge to cut I have to get out of the house. The only way for me to cope is to go for a run, away from my family, away from it all and go to my secret spot in a tree where no one can hear or see me. A place on a trail where I can be at peace.
Expectations and pressure are hard to deal with and some people cope better than others, running is a great way to get away from everything and clear your head keep at that. It's good that you have a place to go where you can be at peace and just relax. Have you tried other ways for example reading for some people can just take you away and for me it's a way to cope sometimes. Playing an instrument, just shoving on headphones or writing the same thing over and over again could help calm yourself as well. Though you've probably heard most of these. You are not inferior, you have exactly the same rights in the house as the rest of them.
But then I wake up to reality and have to go back home. My consoler thinks that I feel like my parents will disown me for cutting but honestly I think I have disowned them for not caring about me, for not realizing that something is wrong...
Think about it though, without your parents who do you really have? I mean, I know they are very hard to cope with sometimes and they don't understand but try letting them in a little more. Maybe if you don't shut them out they will recognise that you're calling for help, they care about you but if you show them that something is wrong they can be there to support you. They shouldn't disown you and you're assuming that they will, give them a chance to prove you wrong just this once, they might just suprise you.

[Electra Heart]

Um... well for one thing. Your parents can disown you, you cannot disown them. What you're thinking of is emancipation, which is also an incredibly stupid thing to do, especially in the situation that you're outlining.