Lost997
May 10th, 2012, 10:42 AM
There was always one small part of me that was able to hide my feelings, always just never with myself! making others believe i was ok made me almost believe it until I was alone, I used to hate being alone but now I love it and that scares me, I used to think I was completely lost but I was wrong, before I was simply becoming lost, now I am lost! I really feel like I have no one at all, all thats left is me and soon enough that will be gone aswell, I dont even cut for the control anymore because even cutting has become something which is out of my control, I do it because I just dont feel like I know anything else and its the only thing that feels like me, I dont know me and that kills me inside, I dont even share my problems anymore with my friends, I just let them believe im happy, maybe if I can convince them then one day I will convince myself but until then I have no friggin idea who I am, I just feel like the girl who was raped and cuts and is on meds which makes me sound completely insane and messed up, I wish I was the girl who was pretty and fun and had a life without all the complications that i have.....right now im running, im running away from almost everything I know and theres a part of me which knows that I dont think I'm coming back...