Everyone hates me. Even I hate me.

[Aceso]

I don't know. I'm cutting and purging again. I feel kind of suicidal tonight. I think if it weren't for the fact that it is my brother's birthday tomorrow I'd probably have overdosed. Every part of my mind is screaming at me to get hold of pills the next time I have opportunity. I don't even care anymore, that's the part that hurts most. I'm going to tell my counsellor on friday, but she can't really do anything.
I guess the current thoughts running through my head are 'I feel like a ghost. I serve no purpose, I have no function and right no no one would miss me if I went.'
The few people who I care about so much I know I can't make happy. Even my best friends have stopped talking to me, and ignored me. I don't even want to be around them anymore, because I know I am nothing but a misery.
I just want to spend time alone in my room, which is essentially what I've done for the past 3 months.
I can't even complete my goals. And I tried so fucking hard. I'm just a let down.
I can't look in the mirror anymore, because I'm so disgusted by myself and what I've become I start crying. Nobody wants me. Nobody needs me or cares about me.
And I deserve it all.

[KarkatLuv]

I know it is a hard time, but please don't do that, everyone you think don't care will have tears in their eyes if you go. If your brother is the reason for not going, then I can imagine him being extremely sad if you overdosed
you will never be a misery until the day you choose to be
I never go outside, if I did then I wouldn't have been able to meet you and have this talk :)
goals are just holding you down, just keep trying as hard as you can and that will make you an awesome person
don't be discusted with yourself, you have a gorgeous face and awesome hair, thats enough reason not to be sad or cry
if people don't want you, it's because they know they don't deserve you.
no one EVER deserves to feel that way

If you ever need someone to talk, I will always be here to listen

[Wayne92]

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I know exactly how you feel because I was going through something similar. I felt that my so called friends didn't care because i wasn't part of the group or something. When ever I tried to talk to someone, i was either ignored or blown off for "whining". I then got a text from someone I use to talk to. She was checking up on me. Even though she could understand how I felt she still listened and helped the best she could. And despite the horrible feelings and thoughts I was having and confessed, she was there and showed that she cared and that I am loved.

So from someone who knows, do give in like I almost did. I am here if you want to talk and I will help you the best way I can. And even though we don't know each other or ever met. I love you, I know how you feel and I want you to get past this and be happy. :)