Fuck... I'm Screwed...

[xXoblivionXx]

I totally got yelled at by my entire family for not eating a big dinner (my eating disorder, sort of)... They keep saying that I'm going to have to go to the hospital because of malnutrition. They have a point but they kept making fun of me! :( Then my mom said that I'm well over due for a blood test (I needed to get one during November but no blood was coming out of my veins and I almost fainted) So they want to take me tomorrow. The nurse is going to see my cuts and scars :( Plus after the whole no eating incident I sort cut 9 times... What am I going to do? They are going to put me in the psych ward... I'm scared... I need to run away for good... or bleed out once and for all...

[Carly011]

Calm down. DEEP BREATH. They will not nessarily put you in the psych world. Where are you from? Where i live(minnesota, USA) my therapist found out i was cutting and look im not in the psych ward!! Do you have cuts on both arms? Maybe use some makeup? Where are the scars? if their on your wrists use lots of bracelets. its GOING TO BE OK! Remember, you are strong! :) I am here for you. You are good. GO for a run, not run away just a run. Run until you can't anymore then go home. Maybe you will feel better then.

[StoppingTime]

It'll be OK. I highly doubt they'll put you in the psych ward, so don't stress over that.
Can you talk to your therapist before all this happens? I'm sure he/she can help you, and make sure that you don't end up there.

[xXoblivionXx]

My counselor actually suggested it, for me to go to the psych ward. My parents are going to find out about my cutting... I can't let that happen. My parents are EXTREMELY religious and self harm is a MAJOR sin... I can't do this anymore.

[Carly011]

you CAN do this. Again, i am going to suggest a letter explaining everything your going through, what your feeling, and why you cut. That might help them understand a little. your counselor may suggest the psych ward, but that does NOT mean the doctors will do that. It WILL BE OK

[xXoblivionXx]

I hope so... i just can't do this alone... I can't face them alone...

[StoppingTime]

Do you trust your counselor? If so, then maybe ask why he/she think you need to go?

[xXoblivionXx]

Yeah I guess I don't want to face the reality of this situation but things have to be said. :/

[Carly011]

You aren't alone. You have me :) Maybe think about emailing him or writing a letter? When i couldnt talk to my therapist i wrote her an email explaining my feelings. It was SOOOO much easier then in person

[xXoblivionXx]

it's not that, it's more of me not wanting to tell him because then he will tell my parents then I have to go with them to get evaluated... I guess I'm not alone but when my parents find out and I'm at home with them things will be really weird. Plus the car ride from my school to the evaluation place will me horrible and I will be SO alone... :(

[Carly011]

I know it sucks, but it WILL be ok. You need help. Get a real therapist, not just a school counselor. Things will start getting better, dont worry.

And no you wont be alone cause you can ALWAYS text me :D just pretend im in the car with you :) do you have an ipod? listen to music in the car. At home, stay in your room as much as possible. Things will slowly go back to normal, dont worry

[xXoblivionXx]

I'm already like that, they think I'm a hermit... but I will text you if that happens.

[Carly011]

well if they already think your a hermit then you who cares if you do that!! :D hehehe and yes text me, day or night my ringers always on so it usually wakes me up and i will respond :)

[xXoblivionXx]

haha okay :) they hate how I'm a hermit but that is what they call me :/

[Carly011]

Well being a hermits not a bad thing :) their just jealous of your coolness :D

[Destructive Impulse]

Hell you could text me if u want.

[Carly011]

Yes text one of us!!! :) we are here if you need us!

[Truth]

You should just ignore your family if they do things like that. I've gotten into fights with family members before as well. You see, family is not one of the important things in this world... my family has caused me more grief and committed more crimes than most criminals; so if I were to care what they said about me I'd always feel crappy.

Secondly, tell your therapist you cut. If you can be honest and tell her, you can also tell her that you would like to try and stop; and by sending you to the psych ward it would not help but make it a lot worse for you. If he is a decent counsellor he will understand, but if he refuses and calls any ways - simply tell your parents he's been so rude you literally are scared to go see him... I'm sure they will be willing to transfer you.

[xXoblivionXx]

Haha okay :) Moment of truth will be in a few hours... blood test... :(

[Carly011]

Good luck!!!!! You will be ok :) keep me updated!

[xXoblivionXx]

um... okay I don't know if my dad made an appointment, he said he would but I'm not sure...

[Noxail]

Haha okay :) Moment of truth will be in a few hours... blood test... :(

How'd it turn out hun? :hug:

[xXoblivionXx]

he didn't make an appointment >.< tomorrow is going to be another day full of anxiety...

[confused65]

You have nothing to worry about. I was in the same incident and they didnt bother about my "cuts". So dont worry.

[Carly011]

Its going to be ok!! Maybe he will forget!! And yeah, I dont think most doctors will throw you in the psych ward for cuts...as long as you are seeing someone they generally let it go I think

[xXoblivionXx]

I hope so... my dad said that he would schedule an appointment for sometime next week :/

[Carly011]

It will be ok. Try not.to worry about it.to much. Maybe go for a run? Help get your mind off things

[xXoblivionXx]

I can't go for a run right now... :(

[Carly011]

Wellll take a cold shower :)

[xXoblivionXx]

I have to finnish a DBQ :(

[MemoriesLost]

I think you need to tell your family about the cuts and scars and such. It will take off the load :c