Rough Sex Addiction

[Zeh Crazy]

I didn't know where to post this, but it's bothering me and I'm afraid it could hurt my relationship in the future. I have to have rough sex or some sort of bondage everytime during sex. I like to be dominated by males. I don't really enjoy sex as much if I don't have it that way. I enjoy being hurt during sex. Is this a bad thing? It kinda makes me feel bad sometimes, especially since my boyfriend doesn't always like it that way. In fact, he's kinda the opposite. I just wanted to know why it has to be that way for me. Is there a reason?

[Harley Quinn]

There's no particular reason, I would just say that's what gets you going. Everyone has a thing that helps them get off, rough sex is what helps you. From what I've experienced, it can range from actually being someone who likes just normal sex to off the chart hardcore bordering on rape bondage and shit. I don't think it's anything to worry about, but it might help if you had something else that gets you going. It may be something in the unconcious telling you that you need to be hurt, if that's the case that's something to worry about. But, honestly I think you're fine and you should talk to your boyfriend about it. He'll probably give more insight than we can.

[Zeh Crazy]

Well, does it have anything to do with the fact that the first time I was introduced to anything sexual, it wasn't a very...pleasant experience? I've been molested before, too...

[Harley Quinn]

That could also be a factor. If that's all you've been used to it would explain why you like to have sex that way. I still don't think there's anything wrong with it unless it's actually mentally and physically harming you by wanting it that way, is it?

[Zeh Crazy]

It's not, really. But I guess my boyfriend has trouble being aggressive towards me or he doesn't like having sex that way. Which kinda makes things boring for me because I always try to have sex his way. XD

[Harley Quinn]

I guess you'll both just have to compromise, he'll probably learn to be more aggressive, he's just not totally 100% comfortable yet. :P

[brittanykiss]

i love it rough too, sometimes a little too rough. but as long as no one is really hurt its fine :)

[Carolyn]

It's not, really. But I guess my boyfriend has trouble being aggressive towards me or he doesn't like having sex that way. Which kinda makes things boring for me because I always try to have sex his way. XD

Work together on it. Seriously, just tell him what you told us, and then maybe one night you can do things his way, and the next night he can do things your way! :)

I'm like that, too... kinda. I like to be tied up or pinned down, and while Gabe and I haven't had sex yet, I still enjoy being held down or pushed against a wall, or even tied up and played with ...

[DanielleD]

How old are you?

[Harley Quinn]

How old are you?

If you looked to the side where her profile is, you'd see she's 17. :P

[BassSwagg]

Yeah every partner (male and female) ive had sex with likes it wayyy rough (including me) so like everyones been saying as long as its not harming you in any other way than like hickys and stuff, i think your all goodie :)

[Abnormal]

Rough sex is a commonly liked thing among my friends, I find. I am somewhat neutral towards it myself, but I have to say that you are completely fine. Everything has something that turns them on. Rough sex happens to be your switch.

[Zeh Crazy]

But I like to be hurt. Actually hurt. Sometimes I feel like I need to be. I don't know why. I feel like I somehow deserve it...And if I tell my boyfriend that, it might make him feel uncomfortable. I mean, if I was a guy, I know it'd make me feel uncomfortable.

[Joey0219]

sorry to say, its not normal---dspite what people here are sayin. Im sure it has everything to do with you being abused and feelingd about urself. you need to talk to someone or it will be a lifelong pattern that will only get worse.

[Zeh Crazy]

sorry to say, its not normal---dspite what people here are sayin. Im sure it has everything to do with you being abused and feelingd about urself. you need to talk to someone or it will be a lifelong pattern that will only get worse.

...Oh. :/ I don't really like to talk to people about it. I can say it on here because it's not the same as saying it face-to-face.

[Carolyn]

...Oh. :/ I don't really like to talk to people about it. I can say it on here because it's not the same as saying it face-to-face.

It's okay to want rough sex, and play rough, but when you actually want to be physically hurt, that can cross the line. and It probably does make your boyfriend uncomfortable. You really may want to talk to someone.

Even if it's just us on here. You can always post in the related sections of the forum when you just want to talk about things, or you can PM me, or any other member(s) you feel comfortable talking to 1 on 1 if you aren't comfortable posting your experiences in more public areas of the forums.

But there's a point where you have to stop and think for a second, and realize that you can and will get pleasure out of having rough, but still safe, sex. You need to figure out exactly why you feel like you actually want to be hurt during sex, and then overcome that need.

[Psychintraining]

I think people's posts are good. I think rough sex is good or okay until a point and that point is when you want physical pain and lasting harm inflicted on yourself. I think what needs to happen here is self evaluation. Ask yourself what you are getting out of the pain, and what you aren't getting when it's non aggressive. After doing that I think you should talk to an adult or counselor because the behavior sounds concerning, and that it could lead to more self destructive behaviors down the road.

Personally I am a proponent of rough, passionate sex in my own life, but I am also able to be delicate and intimate. I am not saying that either method is better but I think balance is important.

My recommendation is to think it through. And TALK to someone. It can't hurt. Someone that you trust.

[jules33]

i agree with what the poster abover says. Look at yourself and see what your getting from it. I like rough sex bc its exciting , i like the feeling of not being in control. Submitting to someone else really turns me on. I like a lil bit of pain but not because I dont like myself or something like that. Not saying you dont like yourself , but again I think theres some issues you need to address. Which is totally fine btw. Everyone has them , the important thing is that you deal with them and not keep em bottled up inside. Forums like this are a great way to express yourself and know that your not the only one out there feeling like this.

[VeggieVag]

Well, I am just like you.
I love to be hurt and dominated when having sex.
Actually, there are plenty of females that like that.
Do you like being hurt on certain body parts or just being hurt in general?
I prefer having my clit "tortured" but boobs are fine as well.

[Brook]

It is ok.. I like rough too sometimes

[Kwmpa]

It's completely fine I'm the same way

[StoppingTime]

Please don't post in threads older than two months. :locked: