I can't stop and I am scared...

[NauniiNarcotic]

I have not been eating normally for 6 months now, and after a recent incident with fainting I have wanted to start eating. They've told me all that they had to tell me about how I am going to die and how I Need to stop excersizing if I'm not eating regularly... I only at small nibbles to keep me going excersizing wise... But I can't... It is the only way I release stress and quite frankly I have a lot of that...
Being who I am, a girl with sexual orientation that is not straight
A black/German white girl who was born in Britain, raised in Germany and brought up around whites
Always placed in the "emo rebel goths" or what ever the hell that is...
Was a bit husky at first...
Hung out with the guys...
On the football team instead of the cheer leading team
I act, not like a normal girl would
Just simple things like this... Allowed them to belittle...

They called me fat... They called me ugly, stupid, all that basic pointless crap and I could not stand it back then, I cut and starved....
Now I'm over that and I can't care less what they say, but there's still a little conscious in there tell me... That I can't slip.... I can't slip or everything will swallow me up in the darkness again...
So no matter how hard I tried... My body, my brain, myself won't allow me to stop....
Therapy hadn't helped apparently...
I had been lying in the face of my friends whom asked me if I was okay... I'm not.... I eat one small portion a day....nothing else... Anything other than that and I would probably barf.

What is wrong with me.... The only question I can't answer...

How can I help my self? To eat again?

[xXoblivionXx]

You are on the right track! You did step 1 and 2, identify the problem and want to change. :) Well here is something you can try to start eating again... eat slightly bigger portions, cut out any junk food from your diet, slowly reduce the amount of exercise. It is dangerous to exercise a lot if you don't have nutrition in your system. I don't want your organs to shut down! Message me if you ever want to talk.

[NauniiNarcotic]

You are on the right track! You did step 1 and 2, identify the problem and want to change. :) Well here is something you can try to start eating again... eat slightly bigger portions, cut out any junk food from your diet, slowly reduce the amount of exercise. It is dangerous to exercise a lot if you don't have nutrition in your system. I don't want your organs to shut down! Message me if you ever want to talk.


Alright... I guessing could try to squeeze something a little more into my diet... Guesstimated time into a at least partial recovery?
And should there be a limit to my excersizing?
>_< I know I am a bit of an interrogative person please forgive me~!
And, It would help me if we could talk sometime thank you!

[xXoblivionXx]

No problem! I would love to help :) But I need you to answer some questions so I can try to answer your questions.

How much/what do you eat?
How long/often do you exercise?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?

[Magenta]

There's no way to estimate recovery time. People can give you "rough estimates" but don't set yourself up with unrealistic expectations. It's all up to you and your body. However, if you really do want to change (and you've said you do), you can put a conscious effort into this and it could be a lot faster. Remember, it's not just the eating that needs to change in order to recover from an eating disorder. It's the mindset as well. That's often a lot more difficult to tackle because it's not something we actively control. Don't be discouraged though if you relapse. Everyone does, it's a part of the recovery process and relapses may seem like it's then end but they are encouragement to try again in disguise.

Also, yes, for now I'd say limit your exercising. As much as it may reduce stress, it is counterproductive to trying to recover because compulsive exercising can be symptom of eating disorders. Try other outlets to relieve stress like drawing or painting or writing. Arts are great ways to relieve stress.

If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime. You can PM any staff member under 100 posts. :)