Dangerously close to cutting. Help

[Destructive Impulse]

Please if I cut again I'll be hospitalized. I don't want to go into the specifics but it involves work and I'm freaking out. I just need a distraction right now like someone to talk with

[Carly011]

Hey, take a DEEP breath and calm down. your ok! you have already improved because your reaching out to others instead of cutting. That is great!!! Maybe go for a run, take a shower hot or cold, watch tv, read a book, journal. Or of course talk to us? I know that freaking out feeling i hate it. Try to remember why you SHOULDNT cut. Think about those feelings of shame and disgust that come with it(at least for me they do). Im here if you need to talk

[Destructive Impulse]

I don't feel shame when I cut but right now I feel like I betrayed my manager and hurt someone who was gonna apply for a job. And I already fucking power washed my hand causing me to bleed all over the place.

[itsjustme9000]

really deep breath i'm here you can talk with Me skype me or PM me okay i'll help and talk to you

[Destructive Impulse]

God I just want to fucking grab a knife and slit my wrist open. I want to so fucking bad but I can't fucking go back to the phych ward of the hospital. Jesus I'm freaking out.

[Stronger]

Try to relax yourself, pace around your room, once you do that, do something you enjoy a lot, whether it's reading, playing video games, even if its taking a shower, jsut try and distract your mind from wanting to cut. Let me know if you wanna talk.

[xXoblivionXx]

I know this is going to sound really pathetic but breathe in through your nose out through your mouth, take deep breaths and just try to concentrate on breathing... I don't want you to go to the hospital.

[Destructive Impulse]

I've been burning myself with a lighter. Its not cutting so its ok right? Jeez im losing it. Im so fucking anxious. I just want to know how everything will work out.

[xXoblivionXx]

It's going to be okay. Is this the first time you have ever burned yourself? How long have you been cutting?

[Destructive Impulse]

I burn myself whenever I dont have a razor. I first started sophomore year.

[xXoblivionXx]

and what grade are you in now? I just want to make sure you are okay... I don't want you to hurt yourself too badly. Try to go for a run, go where no one can see you, somewhere where you are alone. And scream out whatever is bottled up just get it out of you. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore.

[Destructive Impulse]

Junior. And my parents would flip the shit if I left the house. And im still burning myself

[xXoblivionXx]

Any other ways of coping? Do you just want to talk? You are a great guy and I think I'm going to cut even more knowing that there is a person hurting himself and I'm sitting here doing nothing. What happened that is so bad?

Burning is self harm as well. Please don't do it. I don't want you to get hurt. :(

Don't double post, use the edit button instead. - Jo/Magenta

[Destructive Impulse]

Anxiety and disappointing my boss. Don't cut because I'm Acting like a fucking trainwreck over here

[xXoblivionXx]

I'm sure you didn't do something that bad, we are human we all make mistakes. And your not acting like a fucking train wreck. I live like a fucking train wreck. :) Just please try to stop burning yourself.

[Destructive Impulse]

Arg. Fine I'll put down the fucking lighter if you won't cut for me.

You know this is like blackmail right?

[xXoblivionXx]

Anything to keep you safe :) I'm holding a razor right now... I don't want to cut but I will. Please talk to me... I want to help. See, you are progressing you put down the lighter.

[Destructive Impulse]

That's just cold I'm sorry. Plus alittle hypocritical.

[xXoblivionXx]

:( I'm sorry... I'm not completely sane including the fact that I cut my flesh open to feel something other than the numbness of life... I just don't want you to go to the hospital. I want you to be okay. I care about you.

[Destructive Impulse]

Ya I fuckin powerwashed the skin clean off my hand today at the carwash just to prove I could withstand pain

[xXoblivionXx]

:'( Fuck... I'm sorry... if I'm cutting right now just from reading that post... how do you feel? 20 times worse. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry...

Please don't burn yourself or bleed out...

[KarkatLuv]

I'm your distraction :)

[Carly011]

Its going to be ok. For both you and xYz. I know the urge is strong, but please try to distract yourself. You know that hurting yourself wont do anything good. It only makes things worse. take some time and write a reply/post on what your feeling. It dosent matter if its pretty or "right" just put whatever your feeling down and get it all out. That might help

[Destructive Impulse]

Oh fuck I'm really freaking out

[xXoblivionXx]

It's going to be okay... I know you keep saying that you don't want to talk about it but I think talking about it will help.

[Carly011]

Deep breath! Its GOING TO BE OK. Even when the worst thing happens things always have a way of working out. Even if you dont want to talk about "the situation" talk to us about something else. What do you like to do in your free time? just try to get your mind off of it

[Destructive Impulse]

Im sorry yall. I did it. I cut today and broke a 13 day streak. I dont know whats gonna happen but i hope every thing will be all right. I cut myself and failed you all. Whats worse everytime i fuck up i cut so i had to make two cuts today. I feel terrible.

[Carly011]

Don't feel terrible. People fall in the road to recovery. Its OK that you slipped and cut. You just need to pick yourself up and start fresh. Dont feel bad, its all in the process of getting better. I am not disappointed at all. I am SO proud that you held out as long as you did.

[Destructive Impulse]

Ya but my doctor said if I cut one more time I would have to go to a psych ward. I fucked up today. I pissed off my manager, I aggravated and annoyed someone who was pretty fun to talk to, and to top it off I go and do this stupid shit all because I can't fucking control myself. I've literally screwed myself with one swipe of a razor blade.

[Carly011]

How will they know you cut? they cant force you to show them...or tell them..... Thats crazy that they want to send you to the psych ward for that...my therapist KNOWS i cut...and knows i cut often but she is trying to help me learn new coping skills and slowly worn on stopping. She said that cutting is a way to cope, and that if you take that away without giving you something else to use you will always fail. You dont know how to cope, you need to learn new ways or else quitting will be insanely hard

[Destructive Impulse]

Well first off I cut my arms so it's pretty obvious. Secondly there's nothing I can do now but pray for a second chance. I hope I won't have to go back to a psych ward but I dont know

[Carly011]

I really hope you dont...your doctor needs to help you stop cutting not threaten you into it. I hope everything goes ok, im here if you need to talk