Aceso
May 6th, 2012, 02:07 PM
I'm not even sure why.
I just feel like there isn't really a direction in which I can move forward. I've been purging and cutting again and all these thoughts in my mind aren't even viscous anymore. Well, if they are, I don't feel it that way. They're just....sadness. I don't know why, but it just seems like I'm always getting these bouts of feelings where I just feel worthless, like everything I do, no matter how much effort I put in...I'll always be second best. I'll never be anything special, unique, or anything of worth. Everyone else is just so much better than me, and it wouldn't matter apart from that I can't even reach my own goals. Everything I set myself up for I fail, and they aren't even impossible goals. It's just I am completely incompetent.
And almost every night, I'll end up being utterly depressed or in tears. And I'm even waking up just feeling like I can barely function. Sometimes I'm okay, but it always just dissolves down to this mess I'm in. I feel so insignificant and like a nothing really. Nothing good, nothing special. Almost an emptiness, like a ghost. I don't even know why, I just look at myself and feel this overwhelming disappointment.
Does anyone feel like this? :(
I just feel like there isn't really a direction in which I can move forward. I've been purging and cutting again and all these thoughts in my mind aren't even viscous anymore. Well, if they are, I don't feel it that way. They're just....sadness. I don't know why, but it just seems like I'm always getting these bouts of feelings where I just feel worthless, like everything I do, no matter how much effort I put in...I'll always be second best. I'll never be anything special, unique, or anything of worth. Everyone else is just so much better than me, and it wouldn't matter apart from that I can't even reach my own goals. Everything I set myself up for I fail, and they aren't even impossible goals. It's just I am completely incompetent.
And almost every night, I'll end up being utterly depressed or in tears. And I'm even waking up just feeling like I can barely function. Sometimes I'm okay, but it always just dissolves down to this mess I'm in. I feel so insignificant and like a nothing really. Nothing good, nothing special. Almost an emptiness, like a ghost. I don't even know why, I just look at myself and feel this overwhelming disappointment.
Does anyone feel like this? :(