Do you remember your first cuts?

[RazorTourniquet]

I just wonder if anyone remembers beacause when it comes to me I don't exactly remember when and why I did it. I just remember how I did it. :blue: So the question is: When, where, and why

Sharing techniques (what was used) is not allowed, so it's been removed. - Val

[itsjustme9000]

last summer
a camp
i was falling apart and no one cared

[Maiden]

i think my first time cutting was about 1.5years ago, i was having dreams about self harming every night for 2weeks before i finally did it.

[RazorTourniquet]

i think my first time cutting was about 1.5years ago, i was having dreams about self harming every night for 2weeks before i finally did it.

Wow, I'm also having dreams about self-harming. It's haunting me even thought I haven't done it for a week. :( Are you still doing this?

[MemoriesLost]

When~~ Beginning of sixth grade
Where~~ Anywhere or anytime that I needed. I would do it in the school bathroom if I was so overwhelmed then.
Why~~ I will never be able to answer this question

[Carly011]

I remember my first cut with a razor...but the self harm started a long time before that.

First time with a blade:
My room
Because i couldnt self harm on my legs as easily or as effectively so i used a blade instead. Also because the other form of self harm wasn't enough anymore....it was a horrible day and i felt like my life was falling apart...the therapist had tried to send me to the hospital and everyone found out i self harmed. It was a horrible day.

I felt so helpless.

[Unbroken]

I remember the first time I did it really clearly but I have honestly no ideawhy I did it.. Its been about 3 years since I first cut:L

[Maiden]

Wow, I'm also having dreams about self-harming. It's haunting me even thought I haven't done it for a week. :( Are you still doing this?

Yes i still cut, and i still get the dreams
Not as often though
Good that you have been free for a week, try to keep It that way.

Im sorry that i can't give you any tips to take the dreams away
As i have not managed to get away from my own dreams.

[Noxail]

I remember being so scared. And so alone. I wanted to scream and cry until someone heard me, but that wasn't an option. So I snuck into the kitchen and found the straight edge razors we use for various things, I took it back to my bathroom and made ten perfect lines on my wrists. I felt like I was flying. I felt important. That was almost.... two years ago. I've been clean for a shocking five weeks, but that'll go down the drain the next time I have a panic attack. I was on the verge of one last night. Thank god for sleeping medication.

[RazorTourniquet]

Yes i still cut, and i still get the dreams
Not as often though
Good that you have been free for a week, try to keep It that way.

Im sorry that i can't give you any tips to take the dreams away
As i have not managed to get away from my own dreams.

Well, don't worry. :) Together we can make it. I'm determined but sometimes it's hard to resist it. Keep up! I believe in you :)

[RazorTourniquet]

I remember being so scared. And so alone. I wanted to scream and cry until someone heard me, but that wasn't an option. So I snuck into the kitchen and found the straight edge razors we use for various things, I took it back to my bathroom and made ten perfect lines on my wrists. I felt like I was flying. I felt important. That was almost.... two years ago. I've been clean for a shocking five weeks, but that'll go down the drain the next time I have a panic attack. I was on the verge of one last night. Thank god for sleeping medication.

Wow, I can't believe you remember it in details. I don't remember being scared. I don't remember even what i actually felt. Remember- you're not alone.

[Truth]

I don't even remember it any more. It was so long ago, and it was such a ridiculously stupid thing for me to do. All self harm ever did was ruin my relationship with my family, scar my arm for life, and make me ignore the real solution.

[CrazyFor1D]

First time i cut
When-19th April 2011
Where-In my room
Why-My dad died that day

[Mortal Coil]

When I was 9-ish. My bathroom. My mother is why.

[Fractured Silhouette]

Hmm... I'm not sure. I know it was in my room. I was listening to music at it's loudest, and couldn't shake this feeling of ...wrongness and loneliness. So I just grabbed a knife, I was just poking my arm with the blade, when I slipped and brought it down. It started out almost a complete accident... Go figure. Can't remember when.

[Error 404]

About 2 years ago...In my room, wanted to kill myself...what a fail, knife wasn't sharp enough... :( I don't remember the reason...

[RazorTourniquet]

About 2 years ago...In my room, wanted to kill myself...what a fail, knife wasn't sharp enough... :( I don't remember the reason...

Look I've seen your posts even your most famous one and I think you have a reason to live even if you still can't find is I'm sure it's out there. I've never thought of suicide. I know your case is a bit different BUT I am sure you can get over the accident because you know why... I'm usually and atheist but I just want to say that whoever fuckin' sent you here: god, goddess, gods, whatever you believe in, wants you here.

[Error 404]

I figure this might be a bit off-topic, but ill try not to write too much.

First of all, i don't believe in god, it just ain't logic.

Second, if it was just the accident, i wouldn't be here...Since i was a kid till now, i could have died about 5 times...First in bombing '99, second time almost got hit by some crazy driver, 3rd time i got hit by a car, which did fk me up a lot, and i was dead for a minute or so...4th time 2-3 weeks later, thanks to Cerebral hemorrhage, or w/e...and latest about 6 months ago...which just makes me pissed off.

I don't deserve to live, simple as that, and I've got 1000 reasons for that.

As far I've heard, my good friend killed herself...and why?Because she couldn't solve her problems, and even her own mother thought she was faking it...yeah, right, someone is gonna fake being dizzy/passing out every day (and some other problems...)...and she was pretty much the best person I've known.

Why did she deserve problems she had?Why did she deserve to die?Why do i deserve to live, more than her, when I've done more bad than good?I don't.Simple as that, i don't.Everyone dies anyway, its just matter of time, and choice...

And with some luck, my first try (other were just accidents/etc), will succeed...and hey, 6 is my lucky number!

Sorry for off-topic, yet again...

Thanks for trying to help anyway, i appreciate it.But it ain't gonna change anything really...

[Ambrosia]

Let's not hijack this thread. If you want to ask other members questions, post your own thread or VM them.

The first time I cut I was sitting on a stool behind the counter at my parents shop, I was about to turn fourteen years old in August, it was July at this time. There was a box cutter under the counter in a metal bowl full of pins and nails and screws, and I was going through a really awkward time. About to start high school, the stores were being closed down in November, and I was going through a really weird hermit stage. When my mom was facing one of the cash registers counting, I grabbed the box cutter and went on the front porch of the store and sat on the huge table that was there. I cut the tops of my arms with it and ended up bawling my eyes out. I didn't understand what self harm was for about another year. I ended up hiding the box cutter under the store and I guess it got destroyed when they tore the building down here a few years ago.

[Harley Quinn]

When: 2007
Where: school
Why: if I'm honest at that point in time my best friend was doing it and I did the whole stupid "I'll cut if you keep doing it" bullshit.

[Magenta]

When? August 27th, 2010, two days before I joined VT for obvious reasons.
Where? My dad's bathroom.
Why? I was hurting, I was depressed and someone I had been talking to for a bit told me that they cut so I decided to try it.

That being said, I'd self-harmed before but this was the first time I ever pulled out a razor and cut.

[Black Rose]

just a scratch
middle of december 2010
I was moving and hated that I was moving away from the first "real" friends I had ever had

acual cut
about a year ago in the back of my closet. I was sick of my parents yelling at me and getting bad grades and needed to excape