Getting a little bit worried.

[georgiamay]

It's nothing major, and it's probably not really that much of a problem, but I suppose I need to put it somewhere.

So, lately I've been getting a little bit stressed out with exams and stuff, which could be one of the reasons why this is happening. I've also started taking citalopram, but that probably has nothing to do with it, because they put me on a stupidly low dosage, which will probably be put up at my appointment tomorrow morning.

But the main reason I'm making this thread, is because I've started dreaming about self harm again. Last night was pretty graphic tbh. The weird thing is, it was graphic, but there was no blood, and for some reason that seemed to freak me out even more. I cut my arm pretty deep, but there was no blood, just loads of open wounds. Even in the dream I thought it was weird (if that makes sense?) But it freaked me out. It looked the way wounds do when they're open, but after they've stopped bleeding... Sorry for being graphic, I just need to write this out.

I haven't had dreams about it in a while, it just started again about a week or so ago. This might be because of exams, because I'm sleeping less as well, which happens when I'm stressed. I just feel... Bleh.

I've been getting stronger urges more frequently as well. The good thing is though, I haven't relapsed. I suppose that's a good sign. I feel like I'm strong enough to resist the urges, because even though they're stronger and more frequent, I know they'll go eventually. But I'm scared they'll wear me down eventually, if it keeps going like this.

Meh, I haven't made a thread in a long time. Thought it was time I gave you lot a little update. And I guess I'm looking for advice. I don't have a specific question, but just stuff that I've talked about here really.

[FullyAlive]

Hey you! :3 First off how proud am I of you, almost a year and I know it's been really difficult but you're doing it! <3

Erm okay so I don't really have any useful advice, but before this dream(s) were you stressed or relaxed? Its a good idea to try and relax before you sleep think about something nice, I listen to my iPod whilst I sleep to try and encourage nice thoughts.

Resisting urges is amazing, it's a lot harder than it might seem to someone who has no experience, but as you said you know they'll go eventually and you know you are strong enough to resist them. Maybe it is exam stress, if so they'll be over in 3 weeks, I know you can definitely go three more weeks. Maybe then you reassess to work out if it was exams or if not what other things are bothering you?

Sorry I have no real advice, but I'm here for you if you need anything or just a distraction (I'll sing down the phone) <3 :hug:

[georgiamay]

Hey you! :3 First off how proud am I of you, almost a year and I know it's been really difficult but you're doing it! <3

Erm okay so I don't really have any useful advice, but before this dream(s) were you stressed or relaxed? Its a good idea to try and relax before you sleep think about something nice, I listen to my iPod whilst I sleep to try and encourage nice thoughts.

Resisting urges is amazing, it's a lot harder than it might seem to someone who has no experience, but as you said you know they'll go eventually and you know you are strong enough to resist them. Maybe it is exam stress, if so they'll be over in 3 weeks, I know you can definitely go three more weeks. Maybe then you reassess to work out if it was exams or if not what other things are bothering you?

Sorry I have no real advice, but I'm here for you if you need anything or just a distraction (I'll sing down the phone) <3 :hug:

Awww thank you Louise :hug3:

I don't really know how I am before I go to sleep, I don't really make a note of it :P I suppose I'm not exactly relaxed, no, so that's probably what it is.

I know exams will be over soon, but I'm honestly scared that I'm not going to be able to take it. I feel stressed about it now, who knows what I'm going to be like the night before they start. I'm trying to stay calm, but idk it's just not that easy.

Thanks Louise, you better sing your best, you don't want to disappoint me now do you? :heart:

[FullyAlive]

Then yeah I'd definitely recommend trying to destress a bit before you sleep and see how you're dreaming then.

And hey exam stress I understand, the only thing you can really do is remember it's not the end of the world if you don't pass (you will pass though) there's always January ;) idk revise as much as you can and do your best, but worrying or relapsing won't help. I know it's more difficult than just saying I won't worry etc but it's a starting point. If all else fails I'm open to listening to the seals again.