Wakening Up To Find A Unwanted Feeling

[LateForTheSky]

This is basicaly my autobiography and continuned into what my vision of the future should be for myself. I will write it in parts so be patient. Please leave comments.

Storyline: My life growing up with ever growing feeling to the same sex and the social aspects of life.

Part I
I was always a quite depressed boy ever since I was young never made any friends in school or out and by the time i was ready to make friends it was to late everyone had already tagged me as the freak who always sat on his own. This made me feel terrible i constantly strived for attention but never got any. I wasn't until i developed a hobbie playing guitar that i started to get some regognition from my peers I never quite made it to the POPULAR group although i did manage to make a real friend and was no longer alone.

Then the begging of it all. High School I set myself into an awake mode were I knew how to go about people. I always was a early bloomer when it came to puberty and always concidered myself straight. My 1st crush was a girl, it was unrequited love she never really like me. This is when I started to reliase how good i could handle myself in my comfort zone boys. I started to like boys before high school a boy called steven, he was georgous, popular, an athlete just perfect. I felt uncomfortable with these feelings and tried to tell myself it wasn't happening I went into deep depretion for a a good few years.

I eventualy did pull myself together for high school and made myself poplular with most and no one would dare try and anoy me because I had such a good backing. Well thats what would appear when it came to it i doubted how good my backing was but there was a group that always pulled through for me and the sheer numbers of the rest put people off. My feelings were still there and I started to like a number of boys i knew. I descovered gay porn. This is when i discovered i could ejaculate. Thats when i started fantasising about them in sexual ways, some of them i wasnt even friends with and didnt have much in common with them.

Examples of them would be Nathan and David the 2 best friends who where the pritty boys of the entire year every girl and curious boy would have a crush on them. David was a blonde hair, blue eyed, tanned,fit boy who was hilarious and VERY well liked. Nathan was a more quite boy who had light brown hair, blue eyes, tanned and very fit and was obviously far on in puberty. I loved nathan the most he was just so perfect. I started to actualy think I was gay and started to try and accept it. That took time but was worth the wait and now I was comfortable with it and wished to have a sexual partner. I told one of my BEST friends this and he was fine with it. Infact he was very supportive and said he had a curious stage when he was younger but considering we are 13 and he is now COMPLETELY str8 i think he might just be trying to comfort me. Adam was just the thing I needed to help me feel better about myself but one problem started to occure over time. I started to have deeper feeling than friendship for him. I started to love him and adore him in every way. He was a short blonde hair, green eyed boy. Sallow skined he was just so nice. I didn't have the guts to tell him of these developing feelings for him in case i blew it and the only person who knew of my orientation.

End of Part I

Thats the setting in the next part i will tell u about the emptyness within myself and say about how alone u can be no matter how many people are around u.

[Everglow]

I like this a lot so far and I admire your courage in sharing this information with us. :)

This hits me hard, in a good way, because it takes me back to aspects of my own childhood and makes me aware of past and present struggles that I face and have faced growing up bi.

[Rawrbaby]

i love it big daddy i didnt know tho i cant wait to hear the rest luv ya

[Sage]

I highly reccomend you read my writing guide, I'll tell you that. Your sentences run on quite a bit and you're lacking some very basic punctuation.

[LateForTheSky]

I highly reccomend you read my writing guide, I'll tell you that. Your sentences run on quite a bit and you're lacking some very basic punctuation.


Well I know it's not very well written but it's more about the story rather than the punctuation. I don't have all day to write it.

[LateForTheSky]

This is part 2 of my story I suggest you read part 1 1st for this to make sense.

Oh and their might be some terms u won't understand if you don't live in Scotland, if so PM me.

Well the scene was set, I was so confused so set about accepting myself properly. First of all I stopped beating myself up for looking at other boys and having fantasys about, as i said in part 1, I was just enjoying my life instead of living a lie. This was alot easier said than done, after a while you start to feel empty when you want something you can't have. The nights I spent in my room, just thinking for hours and hours, until I was emotionaly tired. My eventual conclusion of how I might have a chance if i had the guts to tell them was abbliterated after a boy in my class "apparently" came out of the closet. And quess who he had a crush on, not me I can esure you but Nathan my weak spot. You might not understand what I mean by weak spot but to sum it up he was the one that could control me if he so desired, which is not what I desired. I always wanted to be the one in control of my life not have someone sitting on the high horse laying down the law and throwing their toys out the pram if they don't get it. That was more directed at adaults, namely teachers. Yes thats right the creators that calls themselfs human, when obviously after so many years of little bastards pushing it to far in class and the lazy minds to teach they become disolusioned. We all become the same personality in their minds and so get the blunt end of everything. Nathan and other people my age where different. Nathan always played what he had and he never seemed to take it for granted. By that I mean he always keeped the teachers happy with his outstanding work, he always won the girl with his daseling good looks and for some reason I don't really know why all the guys floacked to him like sheep wanting to be his mate. I doubted it could be a curious phase for everyone of them. Dispite all this power and glory he did not become disolusioned, he stood the same man as the average joe. He always was pleasent, funny and kind. Where as my other peers where somewhat different, the vast majority were greedy, selfish and would do anything and everthing to increase thei social status. They were evil bitter people who lived on the misery of their others. But when it came to the bigger boys, they didn't push it to far. They didn't like the sound of an eye for an eye, which is what happens eventualy bullys always get their turn in the end. You and me are not the only ones that don't like bullies even when their not picking on you. This is what I had to work with, fair dews not all where like this but more than enough where. This is why I live by these morals.
Live and let Live and An Eye For An Eye. Another personal favourite of mine would be Dog Eat Dog or in latain that would be "Canis Canem Edit". Just had to say the latain bit because I know it lol.

This is the end of PART II see PART III soon for continuation.

[Rawrbaby]

wow this amazing i luv it ya are great it is really great it is so deep its great if ya were to publish it would be a best seller its so deep and so amazing i luv ya big daddy

[Aηdy]

Merged Threads - There Is NO Need For Two Threads.

[LateForTheSky]

Merged Threads - There Is NO Need For Two Threads.

The reason I seperated them is because I didn't know how long I would be adding on to the story

[Rawrbaby]

whats the third part about

[LateForTheSky]

whats the third part about

What I want & Will Happen
(i think not decided what part of the story I'll tell next

[Rawrbaby]

what do ya want

[Sage]

Olivia quit being so impatient, he'll write it sooner or later.

Well I know it's not very well written but it's more about the story rather than the punctuation. I don't have all day to write it.

That doesn't change the fact that its written poorly.

[LateForTheSky]

Olivia quit being so impatient, he'll write it sooner or later.



That doesn't change the fact that its written poorly.

Ok please don't pick up on how it's written I type differnetly from most other people on this site. I try to make sense to u but it is like speaking another language. So please don't spam.

[Rawrbaby]

speak any way ya want to honey we can desiferit its easy just pick up on how ya scottish folk speak and its easy by the way how are ya doin have any great adventures and why arent ya in school jackson u need an education mr. lloyd i love you

[Aηdy]

Tim this thread makes me LOL xD.

[LateForTheSky]

Tim this thread makes me LOL xD.

Whos Tim and why is it so funny?

[Sage]

Ok please don't pick up on how it's written I type differnetly from most other people on this site. I try to make sense to u but it is like speaking another language. So please don't spam.

Sorrry Jackson, but it's not different, it's simply incorrect. You still lack the knowledge to spell some very simple words ('dazzling'), you're missing out on a lot of very, very basic punctuation, and your story has no formattting at all. I doubt you even planned it out, I can just tell by the big jumble of text that has about 7-8 different subjects in it. No offense, but I think you're just writing this off the top of your head.

Also, I am not spamming. I'm sorry if what you came here for is some one to sympathize with you on the story subject, but that's too bad, I've come here to criticize your writing, which is partly what the forum was made for.

Have a great day! : )

Edit: Olivia, what the hell are you going on about? I honestly can't understand anything you say.

[Serenity]

For the basics, such as spelling and grammar issues, why don't you try writing it in MS Word first and using the suggested corrections? As for actual format and planning, yes you should give that some thought yourself- that's pretty much what differentiates between writing and rambling. If you do that, I think your story has the potential to be a good one :)

PS In the meantime, practice just writing random stories. Focus on the very basic things until you get better at them, and then start shaping your style.

PPS Don't be offended by my and other people's comments. It's like Fallstel said, part of the reason for the Creative Writing forum is to give constructive criticism in order to help people improve. Just helping out- one writer to another :)

[Aηdy]

constructive criticism

That its the key here, its constuctive criticism, and thats partly what this forum is for.

[LateForTheSky]

Sorrry Jackson, but it's not different, it's simply incorrect. You still lack the knowledge to spell some very simple words ('dazzling'), you're missing out on a lot of very, very basic punctuation, and your story has no formattting at all. I doubt you even planned it out, I can just tell by the big jumble of text that has about 7-8 different subjects in it. No offense, but I think you're just writing this off the top of your head.


Also, I am not spamming. I'm sorry if what you came here for is some one to sympathize with you on the story subject, but that's too bad, I've come here to criticize your writing, which is partly what the forum was made for.


Have a great day! : )

Edit: Olivia, what the hell are you going on about? I honestly can't understand anything you say.



Ok am sorry but if ur going to be critical FUCK OFF! off my thread thanks, :D


And olivia do u mind not using such provocative language on MY threads thanks, :D

[Rawrbaby]

why must yall critisize folk so much and fellstel come down har to the south and ya will understand what i say.

yes sir big daddy and try being nicer jackson ya dont want to get kicked off do ya.

what does provocative language mean? :confused:

(posts combined~DouggyO.o)

[LateForTheSky]

I am now abandoning this threads. Thanks alot u bastards.

[Rawrbaby]

your welcome big daddy

can we talk please jackson

[Sage]

Olivia: Don't triple post. I'm reportin' you..

Jackson: I'm sorry if you don't like your work to be analyzed for criticism, perhaps you should've considered that before posting. Also, you are being very, very rude, and I don't appreciate that. I'm reporting you too..

[Rawrbaby]

reportin me on what

[Sage]

Triple posting and spam.

[Rawrbaby]

i aint spamming

[Maverick]

Stay on topic. Stop the fighting.

[Rawrbaby]

yes sir

[Ironic Infidel In England]

If you are not discussing this thread, or if you post more than one post in a row, that is spam. If you wish to continue your argument, please do so by PM. Fallstel, you're getting close to an infraction yourself.