When Your Loved Ones Are the Ones Killing You

[Wiltedrose2394]

I have had a really rough road with my family; my sister especially so. Well, it seemed that lately, we've been getting along a little better. We started talking again, and we haven't been at each others throats nearly as much.

Well guess what? Today she came over. We were talking very nicely, and then I asked if she had an old cellphone I could use until I got mine fixed. She just jumped down my throat and spent five minutes bitching at me about being irresponsible.

Like she has any right to talk!!!! She is four years older than me and a HELL of a lot more irresponsible than me!!!
I just hate how my siblings ALWAYS degrade me and tell me I'm worthless. I mean, I have guilt issues already. I kind of hate myself and I just got over a nasty bout of feeling constantly suicidal. Now she does this kind of thing, and I am back to wanting to kill myself.

I know, I know....... my mom always says that I should let them bother me. But when you spend your entire life being hated and told you're shit by two people who are supposed to love you. Why do I even bother going on?

Now I am editing this post roughly two weeks later.

And it's still the same old shit.

She needs to hear it.
"I AM NOT YOU!!!!

I am not bipolar. Quite frankly, you calling me moody and out of control offends me. You even vaugely comparing me to yourself makes me sick to my stomach. You need to back the fuck off."

That's what I need to say. But I worry that in standing up for myself, I will make her right. Me losing my cool would only prove her point.

So once again, I am going to just keep my mouth shut. I don't know what to do. I need to let it out...... but I don't want to hurt anyone.

My therapist tells me that I'm very capable, and that I shouldn't be her victim.

It's a major conflict. I either risk speaking up, and once again looking like the bad Guy ; or I keep quite and let myself feel miserable.

[Jen'ari]

I can kInda understand where you are coming from.. Both of my parents went to prison when I was younger and my entire family was torn apart.. We all went through the same hell at the hands of those who should have protected us.. And even to this day my sister and on of my brothers won't even acknowledge the rest of our existence.. Wrote us out like trash just because they want to forget.. I dont blame them but still.. My other sister though.. She is less than a year older than me and hates me because I was adopted by a better family.. But I don't see it that way.. We both ended up in good families but she hated hers and mine and basically turned 18 and has caused some serious hurt all around.. But in the end I have to realize that though they might anger me.. It comes back to a sang my dad(adoptive) told me, "you don't drink poison to kill your enemy". In addition if you were to comitt suicide, how many people would you hurt who have tried or are still trying to support you. I honestly hope things improve but if not.. It is their problem, not yours.. So don't beat yourself up over their issues. I hope this helps.

[plebble]

My girlfriend dumped me about 2 months ago for NO reason, and she admitted she loves me and wants to be my friend, but treats me like crap still. I still love her just as much as before though :(