Here's what's got me down, maybe you all can help

[Web_dEmon]

Here's what's got me down, maybe you all can tell me what to do. I don't want to be considered one of those depressed people, because that very title just makes me feel like a pussy. But ok, on with the story. I've never really felt a connection with other people, but now I just feel desensitized towards all people. When I was little my friend was hit by a car, in front of me. I had to get a therapist who said I was depressed, but I wasn't really, I just thought he looked very peaceful when he was dead, and that made me happy. But now, recently, one of my friends committed suicide, and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like there was a void created in my mind, taking up the space where all my emotions used to be. I have no support from my parents, my dad even told me that "if he saw me looking depressed like this again, it would just be more proof that I didn't have a sack.". Yeah. Really, supportive fucking father. But that didn't bother me that much, I'm used to his bullshit. How can I get over this and why can't I feel normal.