Absolutely heartbroken :(

[digbycooper]

Well I've known this girl for exactly one year. At first, we both really liked each other, and we went on a couple of dates. But, she was never my girlfriend, for a variety of reasons. We had a little falling out last August, but we ended up just keeping as good friends, which was cool!

Then, in September, she got really sick, and was in hospital. I cared about her, a LOT, so I was there for her. She had a tough time but I helped her through. She got better thankfully, and over the next few weeks we kinda ended up as more than friends, we were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but both had feelings for each, and we talked constantly.

She told me some really deep stuff. She told me she was terrified of losing me, that she wanted to look into my eyes and kiss me, and other things too. Obviously, it's nice to feel that you mean something to someone.

So we continued on like that until January. Then, we said, that this summer, we would try things out as a proper couple. I'm not gonna lie, I was really happy :)

This is where it all goes wrong. She went out to a club and caught the eye of another guy, she is quite pretty tbh. So apparently, this guy started texting and calling her. I didn't notice any change in her behaviour towards me, she was the same.

BUT, then, last month, she texted me and told me about this guy. I could tell instantly that she really likes him :(

I'm pretty average, I'm 17, 5'9'', 135lbs so kinda skinny.
He is 18, 6'3'', pretty muscular, plays football, drives his own car.
So yeah, I get that she picked him over me.

He gets so many girls, I just know that she doesn't mean to him, even a tenth of what she'd have meant to me.

I just feel really bad about it. I was there for her, but that doesn't even matter. I told her how much I care about her, but she just said "I know, we'll always be friends :)".

HOW can you say stuff like "im terrified of losing you" and then change your mind so quickly. It seems like she lied to me all this time :(

Not to mention, we were both in the same disco 2 weeks ago, and she kissed him right in front of me :( I felt so terrible :( I realize now that I cared about her too much :whoops:

This'll probably happen to me again sometime, because girls are shallow retards.

I don't want to talk to her ever again, I'm gradually getting over her, I'm just really hurt :( :( :mad:

What are your opinions?

[Desuetude]

This'll probably happen to me again sometime, because girls are shallow retards.
Generalizations aren't the way to go. Not every girl is the same and we shouldn't all be made to look bad in your eyes because of this one person.

I'm not sure how she could have said that if i'm honest. She sounds very two faced and with her chosing him over you because of material possessions and looks that is very shallow, I agree. I know this is cliche but maybe you're better off without her?

Don't give up on finding someone though. There are people that do genuinely care when they say they do. You just have to keep looking.

It's likely that when he hurts her and she's vulnerable and upset she might come running back to you. You have to be prepared to either turn her down or give her a sholder to cry on even if it is only as a friend. I wouldn't let her get too close though, she'll only hurt you again.

[Clawhammer]

Pretty much the same thing happened to me before, laddy. She means the world to you and vice versa, then next thing you know she goes after the shiny new penny. Now, what happened in my story was I ended up making an ass out of myself and, in the end, just disappeared and never heard from her again, after I apologized for all the shit that I had done. I was hurt by it and let my emotions take over logic and it ended very, very badly. So first tip, keep your wits about you, don't lose control.

Now, it looks to me like you have two options. First, you could just disappear and let her live with the choice, with the knowledge that he's probably going to use her and then dump her, as just another trophy. Sure, he's going to tell her that's not the case, that she genuinely means something to him, but let's face it, that was probably the case with every girl he's been with before.

Second, you could prove how much she means to you by going after her. I recommend this one. Don't tuck tail and run at the first sign of competition, rather, go out there and win her back. If he wins at first, stick around and wait till the end comes through. If you really care for her and it ends badly, she'll figure things out eventually.

To finish off, go with option two, you'll regret it a lot less. Don't be shy, rather, bolster yourself and prove that she means more to you than just a trophy, tell her she'll only end up regretting it if she goes with him, and win her back. Stick with it, it's not easy, but the pains of trying are a lot less horrible than sitting around for month after month brooding on it, blaming yourself for not being enough, and trying unsuccessfully to put it out of your mind.

Good luck, try your hardest, make it count.

[digbycooper]

Generalizations aren't the way to go. Not every girl is the same and we shouldn't all be made to look bad in your eyes because of this one person.

I'm not sure how she could have said that if i'm honest. She sounds very two faced and with her chosing him over you because of material possessions and looks that is very shallow, I agree. I know this is cliche but maybe you're better off without her?

Don't give up on finding someone though. There are people that do genuinely care when they say they do. You just have to keep looking.

It's likely that when he hurts her and she's vulnerable and upset she might come running back to you. You have to be prepared to either turn her down or give her a sholder to cry on even if it is only as a friend. I wouldn't let her get too close though, she'll only hurt you again.
Thanks for the reply :)

I know, the generalization is stupid, but I'll be a lot more careful before I ever start believing and trusting anyone else!! :(
I've realised that I am far better off without her. I worried a lot about the situation with her, and things with her in general. Now that we don't really talk anymore, I almost feel relieved. I have important exams coming up, to get into college, so I can concentrate on them, and not some girl who obviously couldn't care less about me!

I am sure, that at some point she will regret what she's done, it's happened to her in the past with other guys!

[Stryker125]

Well whatever you do, don't let this turn you into a douchebag. There's enough of those in the world. And you shouldn't go generalizing all girls because of this one experience either. Just sayin'.

That said, I'm really sorry this happened to you. It sucks to like someone so much, and then just get heartbroken..but you'll be okay. Just focus on living life. Like they say, there's plenty of fish in the sea. You can always message me (or pretty much anyone else on this site) if you need someone to talk to.

[digbycooper]

Pretty much the same thing happened to me before, laddy. She means the world to you and vice versa, then next thing you know she goes after the shiny new penny. Now, what happened in my story was I ended up making an ass out of myself and, in the end, just disappeared and never heard from her again, after I apologized for all the shit that I had done. I was hurt by it and let my emotions take over logic and it ended very, very badly. So first tip, keep your wits about you, don't lose control.

Now, it looks to me like you have two options. First, you could just disappear and let her live with the choice, with the knowledge that he's probably going to use her and then dump her, as just another trophy. Sure, he's going to tell her that's not the case, that she genuinely means something to him, but let's face it, that was probably the case with every girl he's been with before.

Second, you could prove how much she means to you by going after her. I recommend this one. Don't tuck tail and run at the first sign of competition, rather, go out there and win her back. If he wins at first, stick around and wait till the end comes through. If you really care for her and it ends badly, she'll figure things out eventually.

To finish off, go with option two, you'll regret it a lot less. Don't be shy, rather, bolster yourself and prove that she means more to you than just a trophy, tell her she'll only end up regretting it if she goes with him, and win her back. Stick with it, it's not easy, but the pains of trying are a lot less horrible than sitting around for month after month brooding on it, blaming yourself for not being enough, and trying unsuccessfully to put it out of your mind.

Good luck, try your hardest, make it count.

I already sent her a bad text message which I regret :( I apologised though, and we have spoken since!
I here ya buddy, but I'm really tired of chasing her...I've got other stuff to concentrate on, like exams and college. 6 months from now I'll be meeting new people, a fresh start. I'm already happier without her tbh, I just can't believe she was so two-faced :(

What's the thing is, I am in one of the other guy's classes, so everyday I have to see him/ TOTALLY SUCKS.

[Smeagol]

Well, I hope that you have a great year next year at college! Still be trusting, not all girls are two faced like her, but caution can also be a good thing. I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hope you find somebody a lot more loyal next year.

[Rage of the Menace]

Don't worry, you'll meet someone nice, if it didn't work out then it wasn't meant to be. I know how you feel, it's happened to me, except it was a slightly different situation.

If she was that kind of person, then she wasn't someone that would suit you, in the end, not all girls are like that, as Smeagol said.

[Alexander The Great]

Same scenario here except we are not friends anymore...and I never got anything more than friends :/ so in a way I lost more but I never had as much as you, so I guess we're even :) I think you should just let her go through with it, and a prick like that won't be much fun after a while I can tell you that, she'll come back for you :) send me a PM if you want any more advice man :)

Edit: Just realised I've heard SO MANY variations of this story, yet its ALWAYS the guy getting screwed, not the girl...I have yet to hear of a situation where its the girl instead of the boy... :(

[Drew007]

Just let her go. Eventually, after he dumps her shell come back to you.