I hate my family!!!!

[Alexander The Great]

No, this isn't a sort of threat I received, but I mean what I really hate about my family (me, sister and parents - not divorced or separated, but they argue and shout about twice a week), is that I cannot tell them ANYTHING about what's happening in my life because they keep making things worse!

When I was about 11 or 10, and the bullying was really getting to me, I went to tell them and the advice they gave me was so stupid it just made stuff EVEN worse - that was the last time I even bothered telling them anything.

My dad and sister only take the piss out of me if they see me with a girl (even though my sister hangs around with boys), and my mum will just keep talking about it to relatives and then they go super crazy, and it goes so bad that I don't meet up with my female friends at all because my family make such a big deal out of it. To this day, they are still teasing me about it, even when I made it clear that I had really had enough.

They don't seem to notice the fact that my sister (who is 13, 2 school years younger than me) is almost never at home - she is always with friends, always going to parties etc, but the last time I came late home from school because I was with mates was...ummm....about 5 years ago? Still in primary (elementary) school. My sister even has a phone but I do not.

On the subject of phones, it was INCREDIBLY hard to try and allow them for ME to buy an iPod with MY OWN MONEY!! I cannot buy anything without their 'consent' as such, even though its coming out of MY Money, which I WORKED for, but my SISTER can ofcourse get anything she likes, no questions asked. My iPod touch is 3 years old and the only electronic gadget I've ever had. Any games console (handheld or TV connected) was out of the question.

I work hard, and I get good grades. We recently sat an exam worth 40% of my english GCSE level, and a business exam worth 25% of the final grade. I got an A* in the english, and an A in the business. My dad saw the grades and said "If you worked harder, you could have got an A* in your business grade". He didn't even congratulate me for my English A*; he only gave me £10 (about $16-$17) for my A* and nothing for my A, and the next day I saw people saying that their parents were getting them phones for their A*, or a new game for their B or whatever. I would almost bet that when my sister sits these exams in 2 years that she will get a phone for her A* (which she will get, she is very intelligent).

I go 3 years without a single detention, until 1 day I forget my homework and get a half hour detention. My parents go MAD at me.

I am really fed up with it, and because of this complete shit parenting, I have lost ALL motivation to study now, and I have 7 exams coming up before we break up for summer...I haven't studied at all yet, and I want nothing intellectual when I'm older - I just want a simple job (I really mean it; cleaning toilets over office work any day).

I do not enjoy my life at all, the last time I met up with anyone was a good 5 years ago - I can't even visualise anyones house anymore except mine. Don't get me wrong though - I'm not antisocial. I can get along with almost anyone, but thats it, get along. People wouldn't mind me in their group for activities or anything, and they have a laugh with me, but nothing ever comes out of it strong enough that we could meet up or talk at break times. (basically, in lessons I'm ok, make others laugh, generally a nice guy, at break/after school, no one is interested). I have a hard time not believing that if my parents had stopped being so arrogant and thinking that "teenagers think they know it all" and "we as parents have been there" that maybe I could get somewhere in my social life? and as for my exams, I really couldn't care less about my grades anymore after I was so thrilled to show my dad my A* and A, and he pretty much chucked shit right back at me.

WHO THE HELL CAN I TALK TO IF I CAN'T EVEN TRUST MY FAMILY WITH A SIMPLE "I have no friends". What should I do?

There is only this one guy over skype who I occasionally talk to on chat, but he lives nowhere near me, and our convos pretty much die anyway because we never see eachother so theres never anything to talk about. WHAT CAN I DO!?!??!?!?!

[Desuetude]

Arguing twice a week shouldn't be anything to be worried about but that may be biased since i've grown up with parents and adults arguing so it's normal for me, though I think it's normal for everyone?

What did they tell you to do about the bullying? You shouldn't give up on them just because of one event that happened years ago. Things have changed and they might have changed. Do you still get bullied?

It's normal for your family to tease you about that stuff unfortunatley we all go through it. Even telling them not to just eggs them on to do it more, I say the best way to go about it is to ignore it and try to put on an act showing them that they're not getting to you.

About your sister though, this doesn't seem fair. Is there anything you might have done to make them treat you differently? something maybe when you were younger that might have made them not trust you. It could be because you're a boy and they are stereotyping you to be like all boys that go out and cause trouble. It's lame but maybe they're trying to protect you?
It shouldn't be that she should get special priviallges and you get nothing even way you go out of your way to buy it with your own money. Have you tried talking to them about this civilly and calmly? Ask them for reasons.

I know how you feel about the grades, mind do exactly the same and focus on the fact that i'm getting one D instead of the A's and B's for gcse level 2 years early. It's pathetic really and they don't understand that the pressure they put on you isn't helping at all and it will only make you lose interest and eventually not try at all. Maybe your parents just act differently than others with the rewards? It's still not right that they might give your sister so many things for it though.

That I can understand, lots of parents do the same so I wouldn't worry too much about the detention.

Don't let what your Dad thinks affect you. This is setting you up for your whole life, not his. Think about the future and what good grades can do for you then. I know lack of motivation makes it so hard to care, i'm going through the same thing now with close to the same reasons I guess. Just think about the types of things you could do when you're older if you have money and a stable job. Have you thought that maybe college could give you some freedom, they might cut you a little slack then?

If you want to try and build some closer friendships you have to get to know them better. Even if you don't know very well them just go over and talk at break anyway, become a regular in the conversation and that is the only way you're going to get anywhere. Maybe take a look and read over this (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showpost.php?p=305945&postcount=1) it might give you some ideas about things.

Maybe VT is the place for you, it's a great place to meet people even if they live far away you can still form friendships and it's nearly always easier over the internet anyway. You can build up social skills on the computer and use them in real life. family is a hard one though, I can relate to so many of the situations that you're in so well. I think the older you get the more trust and freedom you get, that's what i've been told anyway. Maybe you might find some better advice, if you do would you mind passing it on, it would be much appreciated :P

Anyway, if you want someone to talk here then you can come and talk to me. I'll be here for you if you need someone.

[Stryker125]

Well I'm sorry dude, that really sucks. I can kind of relate, as my parents are like that about grades.. I also don't tell my parents anything about my social life or girls or anything like that. I don't have a younger sister though, so I don't know what that's like. But the only thing I can say is please don't hate your family. Hate is just baggage, and who wants to be pissed off all the time? Forgive them for all the shit they do. Trust me, this is the best way.

Anyways, if you want, I'll be your friend. Friends are awesome, and everyone should have at least one good one.

[Alexander The Great]

Well the teasing I literally meant it keeps going on. I know every parent would do that but they ONLY talk about it! I think they favour my sister for some reason, but if I'm honest I don't really care anymore. Whole point of this thread was really looking for someone else who could listen like parents should do. I know they haven't changed, and you can't really ask why, I just know. Their advice still has never helped me :/ and I
mean NEVER! The bullying is pretty much gone now though, thank god. The friends are always in big groups that know whats going on and I just don't feel like I fit in. I tried walking into the group once, but I could tell the person I was walking with was feeling a bit uncompfortable around me, so I decided to leave.

[Stryker125]

Well that sometimes happens with younger siblings...parents let the younger one get away with stuff, idk. At least the bullying's gone though, so that's a good thing :) I think I'm a pretty good listener. I know how it feels to not really fit in....I feel like that all the time..it's alright though. Anyway, I think I'm a pretty good listener, so you can always talk to me if you want. Just sent you a friend request.

[Desuetude]

Well the teasing I literally meant it keeps going on. I know every parent would do that but they ONLY talk about it! I think they favour my sister for some reason, but if I'm honest I don't really care anymore. Whole point of this thread was really looking for someone else who could listen like parents should do. I know they haven't changed, and you can't really ask why, I just know. Their advice still has never helped me :/ and I mean NEVER! The bullying is pretty much gone now though, thank god. The friends are always in big groups that know whats going on and I just don't feel like I fit in. I tried walking into the group once, but I could tell the person I was walking with was feeling a bit uncompfortable around me, so I decided to leave.
I can listen to whatever you need to say. I know what you mean when you just want someone who knows. I'm glad the bullying is gone(ish), not everyone will always agree with you so there will always be those haters unfortunatley.
You should try again, nothing will happen unless you make it happen and if that means being uncomfortable for a few days then surely in the long run it would be worth it, right?

[Alexander The Great]

Thanks for being there guys :D I will be contacting a few of you about whats going on, when I figure out how to word it :P

[Destructive Impulse]

Sorry man but getting yelled at twice a week seems like a blessing to me. My parents flip out over the most minute details and as a result I get yelled at every day. And I hear ya on your sibling being treated better. My parents make it obvious that they like my brother more (they even have told me they do).
I don't have a skype but I have messenger so if you want to talk add me but if you dont I understand.

[justinesparm]

I am not agree with this thread because I love my family and as my point of view family is part of life. Everyone wants a big or small family. Every people know us from our family so live happily with family.

[DarkNick]

Dude I kinda know how you feel...I'm going through a somehow same situation myself...
I cannot give you answers 'cause I haven't solved this by myself, but I know how you feel..
If you ever want to talk to me (to someone that will probably understand you), or if you want to vent something, feel free to pm me :)