I hate

[Iris]

That I'm almost always unhappy. I've been depressed for years, and for good reason, but my life is starting to look up. I got into the college I wanted to, I have a boyfriend who loves me. Why can't I be fucking happy? Why does every stupid little thing still depress me? Why the fuck do I want to kill myself right now? It's not right of me to feel this way. Things are going almost well. I know it takes some time to change your thinking. I know that I can't snap out of this instantly. But for fucks sake, why am I this depressed? I hate life and I shouldn't. And this conflict is making me more miserable and hate life more, and hate myself for hating life more. I'm such a pathetic fuckup.

[IcarusLives]

First time I've been on this forum for what feels like ages....

I don't know, I feel the exact same way... I got on Prozac and ever since then I've been feeling like my old self again. Now I'm going to University, graduated, have an amazing girlfriend, have a huge amount of the most awesome friends I could ask for, but I can't completely snap out of it...

Some days I just want to revert, it's like I can't really just shake the feeling of always being down, like it's just a part of me now that I try to forget about as much as possible. But every now and then even just for an hour it sort of seeps back in..

I don't know how this helps, knowing me it probably doesn't. At least just know you're not alone I guess.

[Stronger]

Have you tried to seek outside help? They could help you discover what could be wrong? Is this depression like basically an all day thing? Or does it come and go in waves? There could be something your over looking that could be making you depressed and your just missing it.

[Smeagol]

I feel like this all the time, and I have a lot of bad stuff going on but I just got into my dream boarding school and everybody tells me that there's nothing wrong.

Do you think that you could possibly have a chemical imbalance in your brain after being depressed (and reasonably so) for so long? Maybe you could talk to a psychiatrist and they could help you sort this out.

[Iris]

First time I've been on this forum for what feels like ages....

I don't know, I feel the exact same way... I got on Prozac and ever since then I've been feeling like my old self again. Now I'm going to University, graduated, have an amazing girlfriend, have a huge amount of the most awesome friends I could ask for, but I can't completely snap out of it...

Some days I just want to revert, it's like I can't really just shake the feeling of always being down, like it's just a part of me now that I try to forget about as much as possible. But every now and then even just for an hour it sort of seeps back in..

I don't know how this helps, knowing me it probably doesn't. At least just know you're not alone I guess.

I remember you actually. Welcome back :).

Exactly; I can be happy for a while, I can laugh with friends and talk to my boyfriend and pet my cat and be happy, but no matter what I'll end up being miserable. I always end up miserable. It seems that no matter what I do or how hard I try, at the end of the day I'll be either crying or cutting. Sigh.

Have you tried to seek outside help? They could help you discover what could be wrong? Is this depression like basically an all day thing? Or does it come and go in waves? There could be something your over looking that could be making you depressed and your just missing it.

I'm currently going to my fifth mental health professional. She's a cognitive psychologist. All she can help me with is to change my way of thinking, but I don't have the energy to do that right now. I went to a psychiatrist too and he prescribed anti-depressants and mood stabilizers but I'm very disillusioned by them I haven't taken any in months. I always have a low level of depression, and while sometimes other forces (such as my boyfriend, friends etc) keep the feelings at bay, I succumb to them eventually. I always do. It's a miserable cycle. I know why I'm depressed; I live in an emotionally and physically draining environment with years of abuse and issues on my shoulders and have to put up an incredibly frustrating facade to stay in school and not be shunned by everyone in my world. My problem is that things are looking up-I'm graduating in less than two months and will be off to my dream college, I have an incredible, supportive boyfriend...but I don't seem to be pulling out of the misery I've been feeling the way I had hoped and expected I would. :/

I feel like this all the time, and I have a lot of bad stuff going on but I just got into my dream boarding school and everybody tells me that there's nothing wrong.

Do you think that you could possibly have a chemical imbalance in your brain after being depressed (and reasonably so) for so long? Maybe you could talk to a psychiatrist and they could help you sort this out.

It's the worst feeling when you feel that you should not be feeling a certain way, that being upset or unhappy isn't justified and that you have to snap out of it somehow to please yourself and others. Sigh. I hope you, at least, find a way to feel better. :heart:

I probably have some kind of imbalance. When I was given my pills originally my moods changed drastically, but not in good ways. I'm angry at my psychiatrist so I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I have a psychologist I talk to, but that can only help so much. I'm studying psychology so I know the destructive cycles of depressives, how we trap ourselves by reinforcing our thoughts with our behaviors and illogical conclusions and I know it's really difficult to pull out of the cycle, but I feel that I really shouldn't be this unhappy. I don't expect myself to be shitting sunshine but why am I not much better than when I attempted suicide in previous months?