I don't want to get better.

[screamtobeheard]

I don't want to get better again. I just want to starve myself until I disappear into nothing. People keep pestering me. "You have to get better." "You have to eat." "You have to get help." I have to do this, I have to do that. I don't want to get better. I don't want to get help. I just want to be left alone so I can lose as much weight as I want. It won't make me happy, but it's no worse than what I'm going through now.

[starvingluv]

Omg i know exactly how you feel pm whenever you wanna tlk .

[Carly011]

i know what you mean... to me i dont want to stop because i dont think im skinny enough yet. I need to do this. I dont deserve food. If i loose the weight i may be happy for once, if i loose the weight i will finally be pretty. I have to do this, i need to succeed. I feel like i need to succeed at having an ED, i dont want to fail on something again....even though this would be a good thing to fail at.

[Bath]

I totally know that feel. Not getting help because there's a comfort in not eating, and getting better would mean going out of that comfort, and it seems like a miserable idea. And sometimes, it is.

To recover, YOU have to want to. I know everyone says this, but it's true. I'm just going to tell you that this does nothing good for you in the long run, even though I understand that doesn't matter at the moment.

Find someone for support. Someone you can talk to honestly, it could be a therapist, but sometimes a parent, sibling, or friend works too. Somebody who won't pressure you into recovery, but will listen to how you feel. If you can't find anybody, because I know people suck, keep a journal if you don't already. Sometimes purging your emotions can lead to wanting recovery.

Recovery isn't easy, I'm not gonna say that during and after that you'll feel all dandy and nice. You have to take it day by day.

"There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing." - Wintergirls.

[buzzzz]

I feel exactly the same, people don't stop bugging you and you don't want to upset them but it's not their feelings it's yours! - PM if you need someone to talk to x

[Joshh97]

I'm sort of struggling with the same thing, I guess I'm not as bad, I get the constant nagging so I do it to shut them up, but I don't enjoy it, and it often makes me feel sick. Its your life, ignore it, but trust me, tell yourself just do it for the fucking (can I say that :S) sake of it.