Nothing I do is EVER good enough.

[ApresMidi]

Move if need be xxx

My parents are constantly at me,saying hurtful things to me.I can count on my fingers how many times my mother has spoken to me with warmth in her voice in a week.90 of what she says to me leaves me feeling hurt.
I dont know what more to do.
I'm a good kid.
I go out,but I never get so hammered its disgraceful,just buzzed.
I dont do drugs.
AndI thought i was a good student. But people have this tendency to think ima get all A*s.
So in my last 2 physics paper...my parents were like...thats average.A b? meh.LOWEST IN THE CLASS?People got 100%? You need to buckup your ideas etc.
Its SO draining.I have the façade at school,of happy and caring and totally fine-and i cant even release it at home.
I AM the middle child. Heh. Destined for trouble. It does hurt when les parents speak to ny siblings in soft kind tones and me its like " Go and do the dishwasher!NOW! ..Anyway Holly,7 out of 20 on your maths well done,"
I jut generally feel less loved.I could slip away and they'd not notice.Dont tell me its irrational,because theres something.
Schools stressing me out.
My parents are stressing me/depressing me.
My friends are annoying me.
I'm ugly.
I cant drop another dress size. 10 is too huge,I disgust myself.
Self Injury is haunting me.

I've never been closer to the edge than I am now.

Why not?! Why am I not allowed peace.
Please help me.I feel terrible.I saw a sheet of codeine tablets and the temptation ofjust taking them all crossed my mind.Not strong,but it was there.
I'm so scared.x

[Dimitri]

Hun, let's re-evaluate this some. Back up and rewind. I will be honest, I think you might be over reacting a slight bit but here is what I would do.

I would go and see a counselor at your school, if you feel all of this pressure like you say then I suggest you talk to someone who can help you, both at school and at home.

[Rayquaza]

Everyone feels like this at some point in their lives. I don't blame you, and your hormones are just making it worse, let's slow down and think for a sec.

Don't let your parents judge your grades. What you get is up to you. If you are happy, so be it. If you aren't, do something about it, attend homework clubs and revise some more, and hopefully your parents can see you're trying hard.

You're not ugly. You just think you're ugly. Never doubt yourself. Love the way you are. Size 10 is fine.

If self injury is something that is troubling you mentally then stop. People cut themselves to help them get over mental abuse or any other troubling reason, and it seems to be a "way out", but if cutting yourself is also haunting you then just stop, please. Your parents do love you, I'm sure, but just imagine them having to work and then look after 3 kids (I assume that since you say you're the middle one).

[ApresMidi]

Hey thanks,
Dimitri, I know i was overreacting, i had a bit of a breakdown , i was tired. Its not just that, its just EVERYTHING , stuff I dont really want to go into building up and it was like the straw on the camel's back, i appreciate it though. Reading this post back is kinda embarrassing, I normally consider myself to be quite sophisticated and composed so I'm sorry you saw me like that, its rather shaming xx

Thanks shadow,I have been trying, I just feel they gave me a bit of support ,I could have some motivation, but its more stick at the moment than carrot. Combining that with a cutting adiction and staving off an ED, is quite vexing. x

[Dimitri]

Hey thanks,
Dimitri, I know i was overreacting, i had a bit of a breakdown , i was tired. Its not just that, its just EVERYTHING , stuff I dont really want to go into building up and it was like the straw on the camel's back, i appreciate it though. Reading this post back is kinda embarrassing, I normally consider myself to be quite sophisticated and composed so I'm sorry you saw me like that, its rather shaming xx



Hun, the sophistication thing, I know that all too well, just take my word for it.

If you ever need to vent/someone to listen too let me know, send me a message or write on my profile and I will get back asap...

[Destructive Impulse]

Don't worry I had a similar post like thi were I was over reacting. If you don't meet your parent expectations there isn't anything you can do.

[Sudds3]

Ugh....i feel the same way! I just told my parents that i walked/jogged the mile at school (which, btw, doesnt count for shit at all!) and plus I have shin splints and they hurt all the time and it makes it impossible to run. Also i run track....which doesnt help the shin splints....but i got 7 min 49 seconds! And now they expect me to try my hardest every where i go and everything i do no matter how much in pain i am in! My solution for a while has been just to not tell them anything and just keep them out of my life! It leads to less depression for me and less disappointment that they need to dish out