Does it ever get better?

[Fractured Silhouette]

Does it? If it doesn't I can't take anymore. No sleep, anxiety, depression. It just hurts being alive, I want to look in a mirror and not see me. I just want to stay in my room and die. I'm trapped on a treadmill. I'm hurting my parents just by being here. I just tried to die, I missed the vein. I need a sharper knife. They say talk to people when you need help, I can't, it's not possible for me. I've tried too many times.

I just want to sink into a corner and listen to my music until I die. I wouldn't hurt anyone and I wouldn't get hurt. But I suppose I have some survival instinct left in me somewhere. Because I'm asking for advice, I just want to know if it ever gets better. It has to, right? I don't know.

I had a dream once. I would go somewhere, but it's all seems so pointless now. I want to believe it'll get better. But I don't, not now. Why do people have to say such horrible things?

I just want to leave here, but i'm going to be stuck, I know it. I can't get a job and I don't want to see my parents ever again. This is probably going to just be ignored, I doubt anyone would miss me if I died. And if they did, they're probably going to thank me at some point for leaving them.

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning, if I can get any fucking sleep that is. If not, then there's not much point in continuing my existence.

[Error 404]

I missed the vein.

Don't bother, its too deep to get it right.Just saying (tried myself).

I understand how you feel, but it will get better.But you can't just wait to get better by itself, try doing something about it.Try talking to psychiatrist (there are pills and stuff for anxiety/depression), and talk to your parents.Of course they would miss you...talk to them, and tell them how you feel, and that you need help...tell them exactly how your written here...its easier said than done, but you can do it :).After all, what you got to lose?And you can always talk about it here...you are not the only one here that feels like that (hell i feel pretty much the same), but well, talk about it, and you will see how some problems really aren't that big, and you can solve them.

[oneDay]

Luke, try to make some time for yourself and think, just think. Do I deserve to die? Am I worth so little my very existence is not welcome? Must I punish and abuse myself for no reason? Does my future hold no meaning? Am I alive without purpose? The answer is no.

Luke please look into the mirror and see yourself; look and see what you want to see and not what others made you. I promise that you will get exactly that. You will become what you want to become and you will want to live another day. But first accept yourself and do what you can to be whatever you wish. Don't kill yourself because you can't get it now.

And as far as your feelings go, you don't deserve to die. Your existence may seem pointless now but it can make you greater than you imagine. What would you or anyone else do without you? And you don't have to hurt yourself more than anyone else has. Put the knives down, wrap your hand around your wrist, and cherish your life. It doesn't matter what anybody says about you, only you count. So believe me when I say that your life has a purpose but you must give yourself a purpose once you love life enough to just live it because everything that follows will be purposeful. You are going to have a bright and meaningful future, I promise. Ignore everyone else and live your own life.
And in case your thinking no one cares, that's where you're wrong.
I'll be listening.

[Stryker125]

To answer your question, yes. It does get better. Depression doesn't ever go away, but it does get easier to deal with. Life is hard, but so very beautiful. Maybe you should stick around for a little while longer, it'd be a shame if you left before you got to see all the beautiful things.

[oneDay]

It does get better. Depression doesn't ever go away...

If things are supposed to get better don't you think depression would go away? I find this a little contradictory because depression isn't perpetual. And though it is wavering I rid myself of depression years ago. This is probably why I just can't seem but disagree with you. But you are right about the fact that there is much beauty for everyone to experience in life.

And yes, to answer your question, in short, it does get better.

[Wayne92]

Coming from my personal experience, I have to say that it does indeed gets better. However, it will only get better as long as you keep fighting back. You will fall at times, things may seem to get worse, but you can succeed. I'm living proof of that. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

[Lyra Heartstrings]

Yes, it get's far better. I went through a time when I would not say a word to ANYONE. I just lived, no purpose in my life. I dreamed of cutting myself, of just ending it..everything. It was the worst time in my life.
Two people saved my life.
I had two friends..who were just amazing. They cheered me up in the worst times, and listened to all my problems. I rose out of my living hell. I'm okay now.
Moral of this story? Yes, it will get better. Your a gem in this world. Someone, somewhere will unconditionally love you. Don't ever forget that.

[Fractured Silhouette]

Thanks guys, but I feel a-lot better now. Sometimes life has this really annoying tendency to make me feel like living isn't worth it.

Thanks guys.