My boyfriend yells at me for cutting and doing stuff to my self

[kaitlynn96]

When i cut myself my boyfriend gets mad at me for doing it..He doesnt get how i fill when he yells at me for doing it..To me i just think when he yells at me for it, it just make everything wrost but he said that nothing to say because i could stop anytime i want to,but really everytime i cut i want to do more self to myself i just want him to love me for who im am not what i do to my self i just someone there to understand what im going throw..:confused:

[StoppingTime]

He is very wrong to do that. Most people don't understand self-harm. They think that you can stop whenever you want to, like some addictions. Of course, he is very wrong.
Personally, he sounds like someone who, no matter what you say, most likely won't change. He's stuck in the stereotypical viewpoint that most people are when it comes to self harm. It is very hard to talk to these people sometimes, and I don't think he's worth your trouble or time.

I would try to get away from him if this persists. You aren't the one doing anything wrong, he is, don't think it's your fault he's treating you like this. Is there anyone else you can talk to about this?

[Noxail]

Honestly, he doesn't sound very nice. If he's so willing to judge you, and scream at you, you need to kick him in the balls and tell him to open his eyes. When my friends found out I was cutting, they honestly thought that the best way to help was to shun me and leave me with no one to talk to. However, this guided me to my new group of friends, whom I know wouldn't leave me even if they knew. You cannot stay with someone who's going to treat you like this. Right now, you need him to hug you and never let go, not scream and yell. Maybe he's just scared, sense boys tend to be really bad about dealing with their emotions. If I were you, I'd explain the situation, tell him that he's just making it worse, and if he doesn't change, leave him. He's adding to the stress, and no matter how much you love him, it's not worth letting him tear you appart. Stay Lovely ~Holli

[kaitlynn96]

I have told him but if i talk about it or say something wrong we will stop talking to me

[StoppingTime]

Though Holly is right, it may be very hard to do this. If you feel you can sit down and talk to him about it, go for it. It's up to you. But it just seems like he isn't the type to listen very much if he screams and judges you for no reason.



EDIT:

I think it would really be best for you to talk to someone about this. He has proved he doesn't care, and you are too good for him and his hard headed attitude.

[Noxail]

I have told him but if i talk about it or say something wrong we will stop talking to me

Honey, if he is that dense, he's not worth your time. It's best to just tell him it's over. Like I said, no matter how much you love him, it's not worth letting him tear you appart. And I really hate to say it, but if he's this unwilling to understand, chances are he doesn't care as much about you as he says he does. Then again, I've never met him and have no idea what kind of person he is. :hug: I'm so sorry this has happened to you. ~Holli

[Truth]

I'm going to be honest OP.

If you can't love yourself, how can you ever even expect a boyfriend to love you? What is he supposed to do when you cut yourself? It's a very unattractive thing and will push more than 90% of men away from you.

There is definitely men out there who would be better for you than him, I doubt that you are compatible as long as you cut.

[Noxail]

How can the OP love herself if the one who's supposed to support her is tearing her down?

[StoppingTime]

I'm going to be honest OP.

If you can't love yourself, how can you ever even expect a boyfriend to love you? What is he supposed to do when you cut yourself? It's a very unattractive thing and will push more than 90% of men away from you.

There is definitely men out there who would be better for you than him, I doubt that you are compatible as long as you cut.

You know what? It isn't the OP's job to love herself. She is obviously going through hard times, and having trouble in her life. Do you think that's wrong? Do you have to be 100% satisfied with yourself at all times? Are you serious? Can nobody ever have times when they feel bad?

A friend is supposed to be there and support you when this happens.
There are people out there who want to help you OP, your current boyfriend isn't one of them, but there are people who will help you.

[Fiction]

I've had ex boyfriends kind of like this. At the end of the day, if they won't accept you for who you are, then they're not worth your time.

However, try and look at why they're shouting at you. Maybe he's scared or worried about you? How about trying to talk to him about it?

[Truth]

You know what? It isn't the OP's job to love herself. She is obviously going through hard times, and having trouble in her life. Do you think that's wrong? Do you have to be 100% satisfied with yourself at all times? Are you serious? Can nobody ever have times when they feel bad?

A friend is supposed to be there and support you when this happens.
There are people out there who want to help you OP, your current boyfriend isn't one of them, but there are people who will help you. Sadly, it is her job to love herself. If you can't even do your job, no one else is going to bother. That is the one truth I've learned ever since stopping my habit of self harm... you can't just sit there and expect people to accept you and love you for hurting yourself, it doesn't work that way.

I've truly tried to date girls who self harm, and I know as a previous self-harmer that it is hard to stop... but you not only make the boyfriend feel like absolute shit, like he he will feel he isn't GOOD ENOUGH to help you stop cutting, that he is the source of your pain.

Once that happens, it just becomes a never-ending cycle of negativity. The girlfriend cuts herself, the boy gets angry because he thinks he's the problem, she cuts herself again, etc...

You can not blame the boyfriend for this situation as it's the OP's choice to cut herself. He is not the one forcing her to cut, and he currently acts out in anger because of how he feels, he doesn't know how to express himself in any other way.

Just like the only way OP knows how to heal her pain is to cut; maybe the only way for her boyfriend to feel like he's helping is to get angry. Maybe he doesn't understand it's not helping, even.

If you can't have a conversation to explain this predicament to your boyfriend; the problem will only get worse.

[Dark_cloud98]

If I where you I would dump him he should be talking about it to you no just shouting at you that will just make you more depressed if he can't take you for who you are self harming and all his just not worth the hassle