I want him back

[Everglow]

My boyfriend and I broke up last night and I feel so worthless. All I ever did was love him with all my heart. Sure there were times when I was pissed or angry with him, but I loved him all the same. What happened last night crushed me. He knew it was hurting me, so he, like the amazing guy he is, tried to make it better for me. When he realized what he was doing, he told me that he knew he was hurting me, but he was sorry, genuinely sorry that he ruined our relationship. So I, in a fit of sadness, hurt and rage, refused to see his beautiful apology as genuine. I saw it as a scrambled attempt to keep us together. At this point, I didn’t want to hear another pitiful attempt, because he already made the decision to break us up. Those feelings came out before he thought about how it would effect me. I was so sad and hurt and angry that this was happening to us, to me. We were perfect for each other, and we both knew that. We had such a strong bond between us, that we were more than best friends. More than once we talked about spending the rest of our lives with each other. Everything that we were rushed through my mind, so I told him “We’re done. Everything about us from the day I first met you is done. Don’t call me; don’t email me; don’t love me; don’t talk to me and don’t worry about me. Just ask yourself, what did I ever do to you? Oh that’s right, I saved your life.” The last bit is too painful for me to even describe its meaning or even why I said it to him, but that was how deep our relationship went.

This morning I got an email from him and it was so perfect. He said, “I know you said no emails, but just one. Goodbye Steven, I love you. Goodbye.” It stole my heart like it was when I fell in love with him. I understood that all of his pleas to keep us together were passionate and sincere, no matter how scrambled they were. I want him back. I’m so lonely without him. He completes me, like he always had in the past.

[Rawrbaby]

tell him how ya feel tell him what ya said and im sorry yall broke up but if ya want him back just tell him and follow ya heart do what ya heart tells ya do what ya think is right and i hope it all works out

[Everglow]

I guess all I can do is give it a shot

[Enkoi]

Yeah and I think you should.
Do you know why he broke up with you? I can tell just by reading this how you feel. I hope it works out and that he sees your side of it and how you feel. Maybe he will come around...
I really hope so!!

I kind of felt that way when my last most meaningful relationship ended...
I hate that feeling...
I only want to find some one who loves me enough to not want me to feel that way.
Unloved.

...

[Everglow]

Yes, I know why he broke up with me, but at the moment it's so hard to put into words. I really appreciate your concern, really. Thank you.

Yes, this feeling is terrible. I'm worried sick about him too. I tried to reach him all yesterday, but it didn't work at all. I'm so scared that he's hurt himself again. Before our friendship turned into a loving relationship, he and I used to self injure, for various reasons. I was and still am hated by my parents for being bisexual. I also suffer from depression and cutting became my only outlet till I was forced to go to therapy (very, very long story). He faces rejection from his parents as well, and when his dad found out about us the cutting and burning got worse. When I told him I loved him, things got a lot better. I had already stopped hurting myself months before, but made it my goal to help him stop along the way. In time he did. We made it a pact to live for each other, but now that the relationship has ended, I fear the worst. I'm terrified. I’ve never been this scared in my life. I love him and I want to be with him again, but what have I done? I couldn't live with myself if I knew I caused him to do something terrible.