A day without cutting is a day without sunshine

[Weeping_Angel]

That's what I feel like right now. Every day without cutting was like a day where I couldn't release. A day where I was bottled up, and I needed to die. I can't cope any more. My life is like a jigsaw puzzle with 1000 pieces but half of them are missing. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm the something that is nothing. I'm not helpful to the world, and my mother doesn't love me. I don't know who would love me, if not my mother. I just cut after 15 days of not, and I feel so much better. I'm going to die soon. Not because I'm going to kill myself, but because I'm just going to get so sick and die. I don't know what to do! This post probably doesn't make sense, because I'm rocking back and forth like crazy, and my brain is a huge jumble, but I really need help!

[StoppingTime]

That's what I feel like right now. Every day without cutting was like a day where I couldn't release. A day where I was bottled up, and I needed to die. I can't cope any more. My life is like a jigsaw puzzle with 1000 pieces but half of them are missing. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm the something that is nothing. I'm not helpful to the world, and my mother doesn't love me. I don't know who would love me, if not my mother. I just cut after 15 days of not, and I feel so much better. I'm going to die soon. Not because I'm going to kill myself, but because I'm just going to get so sick and die. I don't know what to do! This post probably doesn't make sense, because I'm rocking back and forth like crazy, and my brain is a huge jumble, but I really need help!

Once you start self harm, it's always very hard to find another way to cope that is "as effective" as cutting. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you're human. We all make mistakes. And over two weeks, that right there is something to be proud of.

You aren't nothing. You are an amazing person stuck in a bad situation. You are, and will be helpful in the future. Don't end it all based on some bad times. You have a future, no matter how bleak that idea may sound right now.
Can you talk to anyone in your life about all of this? A trusted friend, school counselor, trusted adult, anything like that. This is always very helpful. Just being able to tell someone else in your life what is wrong, and talking about it with them.
You'll find the right person who will love you one day. I'm sorry about your mother, but trust me, not everyone is like this. You'll find someone who loves you for being you.

Don't give up so soon. Just think, "Do I really need to cut?" It only causes more problems than help in the end, and makes you feel guilty. Distract yourself. Start a major project that you've always wanted to. Anything to take your mind off cutting. Go running, shove headphones in your ears, be with people, anything. What you are saying does make sense; you aren't crazy at all. You've come to the right place, we are always here to help.

I wish you the very best!

[Weeping_Angel]

Once you start self harm, it's always very hard to find another way to cope that is "as effective" as cutting. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you're human. We all make mistakes. And over two weeks, that right there is something to be proud of.

You aren't nothing. You are an amazing person stuck in a bad situation. You are, and will be helpful in the future. Don't end it all based on some bad times. You have a future, no matter how bleak that idea may sound right now.

I'm not trying to end my life, but I'm so filled with anxiety, and depression that I feel sick and I feel like I'm going die. I'm just going to go to sleep, and not wake up from all of the nightmares I have and from all the pressure I'm under.

Can you talk to anyone in your life about all of this? A trusted friend, school counselor, trusted adult, anything like that. This is always very helpful. Just being able to tell someone else in your life what is wrong, and talking about it with them.

I don't have anyone to talk to. I can't trust anyone, because all the people that I trusted have back stabbed me, raped me, hurt me, and made me feel like shit being stomped on. I can't talk to anyone, because nobody understands. Nobody can find my missing puzzle prices, because they have already greeted the paper shredder.

You'll find the right person who will love you one day. I'm sorry about your mother, but trust me, not everyone is like this. You'll find someone who loves you for being you.

I won't find anyone who loves me, because no one gives enough fucks to care. No one will love me for being me, because I don't love any one. And I'm not complaining. Maybe if my mother was a bit better, I would have been able to cope, but she is too much for me to handle. I have to take care of my brother while handling school, and I can't do it anymore. I just can't. My mother gave birth to me, and if she doesn't love me, than people may say they care about me, they may say they love me, but it's all just shit.


Don't give up so soon. Just think, "Do I really need to cut?" It only causes more problems than help in the end, and makes you feel guilty. Distract yourself. Start a major project that you've always wanted to. Anything to take your mind off cutting. Go running, shove headphones in your ears, be with people, anything. What you are saying does make sense; you aren't crazy at all. You've come to the right place, we are always here to help.

I thought about if I really need to cut. Yes I do need to cut. It's what's keeping me alive. That and the fact that I don't want my brother to be alone with my mother. Not because I love him, but because I have common sense. I don't have any major things that I really want to do. I did. But now I don't. I already listen to music, but that doesn't distract me. When I feel an urge to cut, I just cut, whether I'm listening to music or not. I have tried to distract myself, but it's no use. I'm not able to get myself away from my stabilization, if even. I just need for my mother to care, and I feel like it will all be better. I just feel so neglected, because she doesn't care.


I wish you the very best!

[Mortal Coil]

Don't try to quit until you are 100% READY to quit. I don't think you are right now, and that's okay. When it's time for you to quit, you'll be so much better at facing the problem. Until then, you're not crazy or any of the other things you say about yourself.
Stay strong :hug:

[StoppingTime]

I'm not trying to end my life, but I'm so filled with anxiety, and depression that I feel sick and I feel like I'm going die. I'm just going to go to sleep, and not wake up from all of the nightmares I have and from all the pressure I'm under.

There is only one way to be able to get over this. You need to see/talk to a professional. They really are there to help, and they don't have to ever tell your parents unless you are in some sort of mortal danger.
Without that kind of support, the chances of recovery are extremely slim.


I don't have anyone to talk to. I can't trust anyone, because all the people that I trusted have back stabbed me, raped me, hurt me, and made me feel like shit being stomped on. I can't talk to anyone, because nobody understands. Nobody can find my missing puzzle prices, because they have already greeted the paper shredder.

I'm sorry for all that has happened. Yes, it does seem like there are no friends that you can trust, and you have that right after all you've been through.



I won't find anyone who loves me, because no one gives enough fucks to care. No one will love me for being me, because I don't love any one. And I'm not complaining. Maybe if my mother was a bit better, I would have been able to cope, but she is too much for me to handle. I have to take care of my brother while handling school, and I can't do it anymore. I just can't. My mother gave birth to me, and if she doesn't love me, than people may say they care about me, they may say they love me, but it's all just shit.

I understand this isn't complaining. Your mother, from the way it sounds, has never been there to help you. You need someone else to do that for you.
While you may think it won't help, talking to someone qualified to help you can really change your life, and help you actually get through all of this. You can't do it alone.


I thought about if I really need to cut. Yes I do need to cut. It's what's keeping me alive. That and the fact that I don't want my brother to be alone with my mother. Not because I love him, but because I have common sense. I don't have any major things that I really want to do. I did. But now I don't. I already listen to music, but that doesn't distract me. When I feel an urge to cut, I just cut, whether I'm listening to music or not. I have tried to distract myself, but it's no use. I'm not able to get myself away from my stabilization, if even. I just need for my mother to care, and I feel like it will all be better. I just feel so neglected, because she doesn't care.

It seems like she will never be able to help you, so I would start looking to others to help. Not anyone you mentioned before of course, because they are in no way "friends."
Even if you talked on an anonymous helpline, I think that would do you good.



Don't try to quit until you are 100% READY to quit. I don't think you are right now, and that's okay. When it's time for you to quit, you'll be so much better at facing the problem. Until then, you're not crazy or any of the other things you say about yourself.
Stay strong :hug:

This is very very true. Nobody is demanding you to quit. Wait until you feel like you can. It doesn't happen in a day, and that's fine.

[Weeping_Angel]

There is only one way to be able to get over this. You need to see/talk to a professional. They really are there to help, and they don't have to ever tell your parents unless you are in some sort of mortal danger.
Without that kind of support, the chances of recovery are extremely slim.

Professional are in for the money. They don't generally care about your situation, and they got all of their solutions from books. I need someone who genuinely cares and wants to help me for free, and doesn't sugarcoat anything, because sugar coating things jut makes the problem worse

I'm sorry for all that has happened. Yes, it does seem like there are no friends that you can trust, and you have that right after all you've been through.

I understand this isn't complaining. Your mother, from the way it sounds, has never been there to help you. You need someone else to do that for you.
While you may think it won't help, talking to someone qualified to help you can really change your life, and help you actually get through all of this. You can't do it alone.

But as I said before professional are in for the money. And I need my mother. I need her. She is the reason that I am here, and she has to fix my problem, because I am her problem. I'm angry at her, and she needs to love me, because she just needs to. I can't explain why, but I know that she needs to love me.


It seems like she will never be able to help you, so I would start looking to others to help. Not anyone you mentioned before of course, because they are in no way "friends."
Even if you talked on an anonymous helpline, I think that would do you good

I don't know who else to look to though. No one on this planet is genuinely good. And they are all in it for something no matter what they say. Even me. But even though I'm doing everything not because I really want to help, but because I want something else, although I'm not sure what that something else is, I want someone Whois only there to help me. It's selfish, and unreasonable but I can't cope with anything other than that. I need a true friend.

Don't try to quit until you are 100% READY to quit. I don't think you are right now, and that's okay. When it's time for you to quit, you'll be so much better at facing the problem. Until then, you're not crazy or any of the other things you say about yourself.
Stay strong :hug:

I feel like that's what everyone around me says, but I can't listen to them. I feel like they are just saying that because when it's not happening to you you say, oh it's ok. Everything's going to be fine. When really its not.