I am going to fucking die if someone doesn't help me soon

[Twistember]

I am about to fucking die. Someone please just fucking help me. I'm so fucking tired of being so fucking silent. No body gives a damn about my feelings. Because its always my fucking fault. I do everything fucking wrong. I don't fucking deserve to be alive. Whenever I try to say something, its always "Oh, well, you have no reason to feel that way. You have a good life. Now, here is all my problems. You need to go deal with them for me. I'm going to put them all on your shoulders and make you so stressed and anxious that you'll have to cut yourself later." I just want this shit to end. Why doesn't anybody fucking understand? I want to cut myself so bad. I'm only 3 fucking days clean. It's not much to loose. I've been fucking traded. For a fucking car. My so called father would rather have an old beat up truck than visitation time with me. That is fucked up. My own mother won't even make me a fucking appointment with a doctor to get fucking help. She just thinks I have "anxiety" and that's it. No. Fucking no. How about I just throw myself down the fucking stairs. Maybe then she'll see how I really feel. How much I fucking want to die. How fucking crazy I really fucking am. I have nothing left. There is no life left in me. I am ready to fucking die. Dead will feel better than all of this fucking shit.

[cody999]

think about it like this you kill yourself it just proves your a coward and took the easy way out

[Twistember]

Great. Now I'm a fucking coward, too.

[Noxail]

I am about to fucking die. Someone please just fucking help me. I'm so fucking tired of being so fucking silent. No body gives a damn about my feelings. Because its always my fucking fault. I do everything fucking wrong. I don't fucking deserve to be alive. Whenever I try to say something, its always "Oh, well, you have no reason to feel that way. You have a good life. Now, here is all my problems. You need to go deal with them for me. I'm going to put them all on your shoulders and make you so stressed and anxious that you'll have to cut yourself later." I just want this shit to end. Why doesn't anybody fucking understand? I want to cut myself so bad. I'm only 3 fucking days clean. It's not much to loose. I've been fucking traded. For a fucking car. My so called father would rather have an old beat up truck than visitation time with me. That is fucked up. My own mother won't even make me a fucking appointment with a doctor to get fucking help. She just thinks I have "anxiety" and that's it. No. Fucking no. How about I just throw myself down the fucking stairs. Maybe then she'll see how I really feel. How much I fucking want to die. How fucking crazy I really fucking am. I have nothing left. There is no life left in me. I am ready to fucking die. Dead will feel better than all of this fucking shit.

Hey hey, breathe. Chances are, none of this shit is your fault. You can feel any way you want to feel, and if someone is not listening to you, and instead is trying to push their "problems" on you, you need new friends. It is obvious to me just from reading this that you do have anxiety issues, and chances are you're in the middle of a panic attack. First things first, calm down. It might seem hard, but go cry, punch a pillow, write, read, play with your dog. You need a clear head, then we can tackle these issues. If you feel like your mother refuses to help, go to your school's counselor and tell them you think you need help. I'm here for you. Stay Calm ~Holli

Edited to add: You are NOT a coward. Never, Never let someone tell you you're a coward. You ASKED for help. That takes more courage than I will ever have.

[Desuetude]

Please dont kill yourself to get back at your parents. That's what it sounds like you're doing from here. It just sounds like you want help, that you want someone to see that youre hurting and to tell you that you're not alone. I know exactly how you feel about "you have a good life why are you moaning." it's horrible that no one seems to understand and you get people judging you more but stress can build ion pressure and expectations can he just as bad and can lead on to worse things.
3 days is such an achievement, any day you get by cut free is another day to celebrate. Don't think it doesn't mean anything because those days will build up and the numbers will get higher, you just have to believe in yourself because you can do this.
Go to the doctor by yourself. Just book an appointment and talk to them. You need someone that willlisten to you and help lift you out of the whole you seem to have dug yourself into.
Dead would never be better. Sure if you could see people you might get the tiniest bit of satisfaction but after that there would be nothing more you could do. You'd be done, gone with unanswered questions still hanging in the air. Your death would cause so much pain not only to the people youre close to but people in your classes at school, people you don't even know would be affected.
think about it like this you kill yourself it just proves your a coward and took the easy way out
This wasn't the best thing to say nor was it helpful in any way. Yes it means you might have taken the easy way out and at the time I know that it probably doesn't even matter to you but don't think you're a coward because you really are strong. Youre still here, you do want help or why would you be posting. Please just take some deep breaths and think about things as a whole.

[organickush]

please please don't do anything life threatening to yourself, there is way too much to live for. The fact that us random strangers are telling you not to do this just proves that WE care. If strangers care this much, think about people closer to you. It gets better

[Amaryllis]

The majority of the human race is self-absorbed. Not everyone has empathy and that really effects people like yourself who need to be understood and helped. Sometimes it takes straight out, to the point talking to get them to listen and often, even that doesn't work.

I had many friends who cut, had family troubles, felt alone, were depressed etc etc. They told their friends and all of them just said "Just don't cut. This will blow over." It isn't you, love. They're not trying to make things miserable for you, a lot of people just think what they feel is worse is what matters more - when that isn't true. There's no point in comparing pains. You pain is yours and mine is mine.

There are people out there who understand and know how to help. We understand here and we try our best to help.

However, we can't catch you every time you fall and hold you so you don't fall again forever. No one can. There's one person whom you're guaranteed to have for the rest of your life. You.

Life isn't an easy place. All the frustration, anger, disappointment, sadness, need. It's suffocating. It makes your head feel as if it's being pressed down upon and that it'll crack at any moment.

You're trapped in a tower (metaphorically) and someone's throwing ropes at your head or whipping you with it. You need to grab that rope, tie it to all the other ropes that've been thrown and climb out of the stupid castle.

No one helped me. My mother finally took me to a psychologist when I was dying on an drip because I starved myself there and it was so late. I could've died the next day. I thought the psychologist could fix everything though, she didn't. Neither did the following 8.

Mental health professionals aren't angels. Perhaps some are - you are American and you have much better doctors there, I'm in the poorer end of Asia. But point is, I'm not dying on a bed with machines pumping my heart for me anymore. And if I can get through it on my own, you can.

You're having such a hard time and people aren't giving you the help you need. But you're not a puppet on strings, you're human. You've been through too much and gone too far to let it all slip away. You won't be where you are if you choose not to be there.

The circumstances affect us but we don't have to let it become us. You're not "depressed" or a "cutter." You're someone who's suffering from depression and you cut for relief. You come before your miseries.

I don't know if anything I said made sense but hopefully it did. If it didn't, well... You're worth the effort of this super long post.

"Look at that tree growing up there out of that grating. It gets no sun, and water only when it rains. It's growing out of sour earth. And it's strong because its hard struggle to live is making it strong." - Betty Smith