What to do...

[scott757]

Ok so I've been going out with a girl now for... 2 and a half months. At first before we were dating we would be texting eachother everyday just chatting and being good mates. I asked her out and we continued talking to eachother like that and then we went out on a date. All was good. Came home and we still texted eachother quite a lot, seemed she was happy :)

The last time we were out alone was valentines day...

She goes to live with her dad every second weekend so fair enough I cant see her as its a bit away but even then the weekends she is here I've barely had a chance to see her or we've been out in a group.

Recently though its like she never texts me back... a few weeks ago it was nearly two weeks since we had a text conversation. Last weekend aswell I didn't get to see her as she hadn't bothered to charge her phone so I wasn't able to get a hold of her. It seems to be that mabey every one in 10 days we will have a half decent text conversation. Fair enough were studying for exams right now but you would still think she would try to text me back even to say hi you know?

Sad fact is my best girl mate (one of my good mates girlfriend aswell) knows more about me than my girlfriend does. We proved that last week... Again this weekend theres been no texts from her. I just get the feeling that I'm giving this my all whereas she's not doing anything with it...

Also she seems happy enough in school although I feel like she isn't in it for the relationship, mabey shes just in it for fun. I know she used to moan a lot about being single (heck I did too) but I just sometimes think shes with me just to be in a relationship. How can I mabey try and get her to become a bit more interested again and re-start everything :)

Thanks in advance

[Mind Blank]

Well, since you don't seem to spend one on one time with her too often, it's hard to maintain a relationship based on texting and group outings. If you're putting in as much effort as you can, and she doesn't seem to care, maybe it's time to let it go. Not every relationship works out, especially when you're still in school.

Alternatively, and probably more importantly, talk to her about it. When you next see her, pull her aside and ask her if she still wants the relationship. The relationship being both the "being in a relationship" part, and the "spending time together, and having conversations" part. If she still doesn't seem interested, then the choice is clear.

[scott757]

Thanks :) I understand what your saying, it really woulden't be worth it if were not communicating. I think I'll wait untill after the exams, give it a couple of weeks and if she is still only wanting to go out in a group and not alone then I think I will just have to say enough's enough :confused:

Any more tips would be great :)

[Desuetude]

Alternatively, and probably more importantly, talk to her about it. When you next see her, pull her aside and ask her if she still wants the relationship. The relationship being both the "being in a relationship" part, and the "spending time together, and having conversations" part. If she still doesn't seem interested, then the choice is clear.
I agree with this. If you can't communicate properly then the realtionship will fall apart. You need to be up front with her and ask her what she thinks you two are.
However exams are very stressful and are a big part of this section of your lives so maybe she is just "ignoring" you so she doesn't get distracted? Groups are okay sometimes, I mean it gives you more of a change to get to know each other without it being too intimite but if you want to be a couple then yes, it's good to spend time alone as well. This is where the talking comes in, you need to find out if you both want the same thing or if she just wants to be in a "relationship" which if im honest is a little sad but I suppose can be an ego booster?

[hpq666]

Just confront her and say something like "Look, I know that we have had a lot of work with exams but why don't you ever answer my texts?"

[scott757]

Just confront her and say something like "Look, I know that we have had a lot of work with exams but why don't you ever answer my texts?"

I've done that a few times, there always seems to be an excuse. Its always something like "Oh, I didn't charge my phone all weekend" or "I saw it, got distracted and forgot about it" or "I didn't notice it untill hours later and I wasn't sure weather to text back"

@Myoblivion

She usually claims thats a reason for not being near her phone, but she usually says in school "well I tried to study but didnt actually do any" then if she looked at her phone then wouldent she want to reply?

Just bugs me because if she really did want to be with me you would think that she would want to talk... and without it the whole relationship can't work if were only getting to talk when with a big group of people :what::what:

[scott757]

So yeah Thursday was an absolute bust. All 200 in our year were in school for the english exams, we had about 2 3/4 hours between our writing paper and our general close reading and we were all sheparded into the canteen by our school. I was standing trying to talk to her and it was quite sticky. When I offered her a hug all I got was a tilt of her body in my direction and she seemed way more interested in talking to her friend than me, I litterally felt like some sort of third wheel... to make it worse two other couples who are all friends of ours were sitting like hugging and comforting eachother ect. ect. and I was just sitting there like... "am I actually in a relationship", because looking at these couples I felt the exact same way I did when I was single... I guess that's a bad sign....

[scott757]

Well things seem to be getting worse...

I only got to speak to her on Thursday because my friend texted me to tell me she was on her phone. The conversation went on for... ten minutes... maximum and it just felt like I was trying to break the ice with a new friend... like hi, how are you stuff along those lines

Now... this is what reallly hurt me.

I texted her yesterday and as usual she never texted back... then, I wake up this morning, log on to facebook and notice she had uploaded and picture FROM MOBILE and changed her profile picture to that... This to me shows that she has seen my text when she went on her phone and has blatantly ignored my text and I'm not sure weather I can forgive that...

My plan is on Tuesday after our geography exam is to go up to her and confront her in the nicest way possible with everything that im annoyed at then just asking her if she still wants to be with me... what do you think?

[scott757]

Anyone?

[plebble]

This is my problem atm, but my now ex actually hates me and loves me at the same time. Her head is screwed up and I want the old days back :(