Reset. Glorious.

[Bath]

Well after about two months of feeling healthier and more stable I broke. Mom came home drunk and this shit isn't gonna stop and I just have to pretend like I'm okay with it until I move out. I can't deal with faking happiness unless I have some kind of outlet and this seemed easiest and most tempting since it's been a long time.

Day 0. Left ankle/leg. It's still spazzing out, I don't know why it's still trembling but I have bandages on it. I'm not gonna tell Brian.

I feel very guilty and sick, but relieved.

[Desuetude]

Hey, you did great getting to 2 months. That's such an achievement on it's own you should be proud of yourself. Keeping it to yourself is only going to make the guilt build up until he finds out. Talk to Brian, he can help you, I bet he only wants what's best for you and to help you. It's okay to relapse but pick yourself back up afterwards because you know you can. You've already proved that by going without it for 2 months.
Don't lose hope now because it's still there, you will get through this.

[kenoloor]

There is a horribly overused quote that goes something like "it's not about how you fall, but how you get up afterwards." And, while I find it to be used in excess, it is quite a lovely quote because it holds so much truth. Like Nikki said, relapse is a part of recovery, but you just have to keep moving forward and looking ahead and staying positive. I know it's hard to do that in a situation like this; trust me, I know. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

Talking to somebody will also be very beneficial, I think, and I encourage you to try and open up to someone you trust. We're here for you. Stay strong.

[Bath]

Thanks you guys so much.

[DerBear]

Well you did great doing, what was it 2+months? --->That deserves a gold star.

Fake happiness really never goes down well. It's sort of like putting make up on...eventually it gets washed off. Well all know it gets worse before it truly gets better. Relapsing is a part of recovry and as long as you pick yourself up when you get knocked down, it's okay.

You have proven you can do it with 2 months and that's an achievement. Look ahead and stay positive. Good Luck.

[Jupiter]

Hey Bethany.

I really don't know you that well. I didn't know your mother drank a lot. I think you should really talk to her about how it really bothers you and makes you upset. Have you ever tried this before? Although it may not work, it doesn't hurt to try.

Not knowing you well, I am only assuming that Brian is your boyfriend. I think that you need him to know some things. Because there should always be that one friend that you can confide to. That friend you call or text when you need to talk to someone about this.

Resets only give you more chances for a chance to shine. <3

[Noxail]

I know your pain. My dad's an alcoholic, he's addicted to pain meds, annd he's in withdraw right now because he's getting a new job but he has to detox, and he's like a tiger with strep. It's fine to relapse, it means your human, you just can't stay down. And I find fake happiness is alot like that crappy grape flavor in cough medicine, it makes it more attractive to those who don't have to take it. I know you probably feel trapped in your bubble of false happiness, but just letting you know, You never have to be fake around us. Even though it's a bunch of strangers, it feels good to be yourself around someone and not get judged for it. Stay True ~Holli