I want out

[xXoblivionXx]

I'm so tired, tired of being awake, tired of being invisible, tired of being stupid, tired of being alive. I want out. I look in the mirror and feel so disgusted of what I have become. I'm lost and I want out. All I do is wonder when will be the next opportunity for me to cut. I want to end all of this. I'm so tired of being a screw up. No one deserves to be around me because all I do is bring misery. I can't go to sleep at night unless I cut. On days that I don't cut I shiver and cry. I'm so numb all I want is for me to not wake up tomorrow.

[Fractured Silhouette]

Please don't give up. If you want out, go and talk to someone and see if you can get help! Don't give up because I'm sure you can beat it, your not a screw up. I'm sure you bring happiness, your just finding it hard to see it at the moment. Please get help if you need to...

If it helps to know, I find it difficult to sleep without cutting as-well. Find someone to be there for you, to talk to, parents, friends etc. You don't need to end it all.

[StoppingTime]

I will say this with 100% certainty, it truly isn't worth it.
To end it all over one bad time in your life, it just doesn't make sense.
You aren't stupid, you don't bring misery.
It is hard to accept that, but trust me, you don't. You can't force anyone to feel any certain way. They decide.
If there are truly people who treat you like this, it is their fault, not yours. You aren't the one being rude, or mean. They are.
Just think to yourself, "How would people really be without me?"
Do you honestly think that nobody would care?
If there is anyone in your life, even just one person, who would be broken apart because of it, do you think it's worth it?

[xXoblivionXx]

I just don't know anymore. My grades are dropping, my relationship with my parents is breaking, and am not good at anything. Whenever I talk something stupid comes out.

[Sonic Boom]

I just don't know anymore. My grades are dropping, my relationship with my parents are breaking, and am not good at anything. Whenever I talk something stupid comes out.

Hell's bells, you're only 14! You've got an entire lifetime ahead of you to find yourself! Don't even think of ending it now.

And you won't believe how our brains change at this stage of our lives. My mother actually warned me about this. I though she was talking crap but I saw people who seemed like complete write-offs in grade 7:rolleyes:transform into talented linguists/mathematicians/artists etc. in high school (and one of them is actually studying medicine now:eek:.) The same thing can actually happen with lot of other attributes. So give it time and don't doubt yourself so soon!

As with the cutting, try some alternatives like drawing on your arm, poetry, other writing/art, etc.

[Amaryllis]

After all you've been through, it would be a terrible waste to end it all now. You'd have gone through all those obstacles for nothing. You'll have days worth living for. Days when you'll genuinely smile.

It might feel like you're burnt out and it sucks to feel just so absolutely sick of living. But you know what, we can't see the future. We don't get second chances when we're dead. We don't get to meet amazing people or see ourselves exactly where we want to be.

People get lost in the jungle all the time, but tons of them make it out - either with their own determination and experience - or with the help of others. Maybe you're not lost. Maybe you have the answers, maybe someone else does. Sorry, scratch that. You're not lost. You're not lost until you're 6ft underground. And if you let yourself go now, you're going to spend the rest of eternity lost.

If you feel you bring misery, bring something else. I used to be a walking black hole, depression, abuse, eating disorders, they just ate me up and I was so focused on myself, I became a horrible person. I hated life and in turn life hated me.

We're not born into this world destined for an existence of only anguish and pain. We're not born "screw ups" and we never will be "screw ups." You're the one who thinks you're hopeless. If anyone else thinks that, screw them. Who are they to judge? Even our parents are not the rulers of the world.

No one runs your whole life but you. Maybe some of us are born with mental illnesses or certain hormones that just make us that little more painful that everyone else. But I don't want to let some stupid chemicals in my brain or people in my life ruin everything I've worked for, will work for and could.

Make something of your life, of yourself. Butterflies are proof we can have another chance at life.

[xXoblivionXx]

After all you've been through, it would be a terrible waste to end it all now. You'd have gone through all those obstacles for nothing. You'll have days worth living for. Days when you'll genuinely smile.

It might feel like you're burnt out and it sucks to feel just so absolutely sick of living. But you know what, we can't see the future. We don't get second chances when we're dead. We don't get to meet amazing people or see ourselves exactly where we want to be.

People get lost in the jungle all the time, but tons of them make it out - either with their own determination and experience - or with the help of others. Maybe you're not lost. Maybe you have the answers, maybe someone else does. Sorry, scratch that. You're not lost. You're not lost until you're 6ft underground. And if you let yourself go now, you're going to spend the rest of eternity lost.

If you feel you bring misery, bring something else. I used to be a walking black hole, depression, abuse, eating disorders, they just ate me up and I was so focused on myself, I became a horrible person. I hated life and in turn life hated me.

We're not born into this world destined for an existence of only anguish and pain. We're not born "screw ups" and we never will be "screw ups." You're the one who thinks you're hopeless. If anyone else thinks that, screw them. Who are they to judge? Even our parents are not the rulers of the world.

No one runs your whole life but you. Maybe some of us are born with mental illnesses or certain hormones that just make us that little more painful that everyone else. But I don't want to let some stupid chemicals in my brain or people in my life ruin everything I've worked for, will work for and could.

Make something of your life, of yourself. Butterflies are proof we can have another chance at life.

Thanks for taking the time to write out that post. I haven't cut for two days and they have been a hard and long two days but I feel ever so slightly better. I hope you are right about me not being lost but more importantly I hope that I get a second chance.