Nearly lost it, but things are working out.

[Break the Cage]

Went to my girlfriends prom on thursday with a few of our mates. Took a shit load of coke with us and shared a few lines round. Then back to the hotel to get fucked up etc..
Next day her best mate who was with us and was given a couple of lines by me (a good friend of mine too) gets admitted to hospital after having a seizure. She has been very ill in the past and probably shouldn't have had it even though shes done coke and other drugs a few times before.
Then she had a second one shortly after being released, less than 24 hours after the first. Which is VERY uncommon apparantly, so I'm shitting myself. She could die and it might well be my fault.
Also I've got in serious trouble for sharing my drugs before as some of you may have heard, so I'm also thinking if it gets found out its gonna split me from my girl who I love more than anything.
Luckily nothing else has happened recently and she is being released today, so it looks like she should be ok, THANK FUCKING GOD.
I was so damn scared, I hope none of this shit gets out.
So when I found out all this shit on friday whilst shotting vodka at my friends house, I quickly get very depressed and sneak off to the kitchen when no ones looking, I grabbed a blade and made a few. She saw the marks the next day, being a cutter herself I checked her arms but nothing luckily.
I can't believe how stupid I was to let her have it, I knew she isn't healthy enough to do that stuff, but she asked and I let her. Fucking idiot Tim.
Sorry, just ranting.

[Antares]

well im glad that shes gonna be okay!
Now have you learned your lesson???? lol

[Break the Cage]

i've learnt to make sure people can handle the drugs before I give it to them...

Urghhh shit fucked up again last night. Me and her at my place drinking and just as shes leaving for some reason shit kicks off and she has one of these panic attacks or whatever it is that affects her. Starts screaming at me telling me to fuck off, pushing me away, obviously in a state so theres no way I'm leaving her.
She starts walking into the middle of the road, shit like that and im pulling her out of the way of cars etc. I hold her whilst shes struggling and get her dad to come get her so she can get home safe. She went to spain today, very little recollection of what happened last night. Apologizes constantly today, and shes gone for 16 days. 16 fucking days, I miss this girl after a few hours. how am I gonna cope?

[Bobby]

Can you call her? How about e-mail?

But maybe the time apart will allow time for things to calm down.

[Break the Cage]

I've called her, and I've spoke to her online, briefly however.
We are ok now, shes been saying 'im sorry your in love with such a retard' and asking if im gonna leave her but that aint happening and ive said that.