HELP! Urges!!!

[xXoblivionXx]

Today my urges have gotten really bad. I had to go up to my track coach and tell him that i have to quit the team because my grades are dropping and my dad is forcing me to. This was really hard because I am the team captain and track was the only thing that made me feel good about myself. After that I had to stay after school and write an essay about The Highwayman. The prompt was about love and how the author expressed love in the poem. I couldn't really think of anything to write down, I felt so dumb. In the room with me was the boy I like, lets call him Thunder, and this other girl that likes him. So they were both writing and then she finished so she turned in her paper and left. But as she was leaving you should of seen the look on Thunder's face, the way he was looking at her. It made me hate myself, the urge of cutting multiplied by 10. Why aren't I good enough? What does this bratty cheerleader bitch have what I don't? I wrote about two pages about how love is a horrible thing that makes a person do horrible things. It's weird how in the poem the landlord's daughter kills herself because of love and in live I am cutting myself because of love, in a sense. I just feel like crap and I want to cut but I am home alone with my little brother and the last thing I want is for him to see me cut. :(

[Dimitri]

Today my urges have gotten really bad. I had to go up to my track coach and tell him that i have to quit the team because my grades are dropping and my dad is forcing me to. This was really hard because I am the team captain and track was the only thing that made me feel good about myself. After that I had to stay after school and write an essay about The Highwayman. The prompt was about love and how the author expressed love in the poem. I couldn't really think of anything to write down, I felt so dumb. In the room with me was the boy I like, lets call him Thunder, and this other girl that likes him. So they were both writing and then she finished so she turned in her paper and left. But as she was leaving you should of seen the look on Thunder's face, the way he was looking at her. It made me hate myself, the urge of cutting multiplied by 10. Why aren't I good enough? What does this bratty cheerleader bitch have what I don't? I wrote about two pages about how love is a horrible thing that makes a person do horrible things. It's weird how in the poem the landlord's daughter kills herself because of love and in live I am cutting myself because of love, in a sense. I just feel like crap and I want to cut but I am home alone with my little brother and the last thing I want is for him to see me cut. :(

Hun, let's take this piece by piece.

First off, I am sorry about the team thing, sometimes parents take away something from us that we deeply love in order for us to accomplish something else or to further exercise their abilities as parental figures.

Is there any chance that if you were to get your grades up to the required levels that you could get back on the team?

Second, I am sorry about being in a class with someone you like, I know the feelings that you feel, they are within your grasp but something is in the way. Maybe he likes the easy cheerleads (many are dumb and that results in getting into bed quicker) but DO NOT stoop to those standards.

Do not cut dear, it is not the answer and it never will be. Talk to someone, there are people at your school, counselors I am assuming? They can help you, they can possibly provide tutors to help you get your grades back up so you can rejoin the team.

Honestly, forget about him, in my four years of high school the only guys who ever were with the cheerleads were the muscle headed jocks and they tapped and dashed and you sound like too nice of a young lady to let that happen to you.

I am here if you need anything.

FInd something else that makes you happy, talk to your brother, read a book, play an instrument..go for a run....you do not have to be on a track team to run...

[xXoblivionXx]

The thing is that our conference meet is in two weeks so I can't really make my grades than just go back. But thanks for the comment :) I guess he isn't worth it, I don't think he is in it for sex but I do think that he might actually like her. :/ I just want to find a guy that will care about me and make me a better person.

[Dimitri]

The thing is that our conference meet is in two weeks so I can't really make my grades than just go back. But thanks for the comment :) I guess he isn't worth it, I don't think he is in it for sex but I do think that he might actually like her. :/ I just want to find a guy that will care about me and make me a better person.

How old are you anyways?

And here comes the asshole part...

SECOND, you don't need SHIT to make YOU a better person, that is done on your own...you are in control of YOUR own actions and emotions. You need to take them by the horns and beat them into submission.

You do not need a boy to make you feel special, wear some make-up...go out with some friends every once in a while...doll yourself up...when was the last time someone needed a reason to look pretty?

Another asshole moment....

Why did your grades fall in the first place...I mean, here, at the school I graduated from you needed a minimum of a 1.8 GPA, it isn't that hard...you seem like a really bright young lady...

I would suggest that if you like Track as much as you say you do then I would get my rear end into gear...

Taking that first step and admitting you might need some help does not and I repeat does not make you look weak... if anything, in my eyes it marks the sign of a strong person, one who knows their limits and knows when to ask for help.

Your Move Dear...

[Mirage]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It is SO depressing when you feel bad about yourself. This is really saddening, it always makes me feel like shit. Send me a VM if you need more help.

[xXoblivionXx]

How old are you anyways?

And here comes the asshole part...

SECOND, you don't need SHIT to make YOU a better person, that is done on your own...you are in control of YOUR own actions and emotions. You need to take them by the horns and beat them into submission.

You do not need a boy to make you feel special, wear some make-up...go out with some friends every once in a while...doll yourself up...when was the last time someone needed a reason to look pretty?

Another asshole moment....

Why did your grades fall in the first place...I mean, here, at the school I graduated from you needed a minimum of a 1.8 GPA, it isn't that hard...you seem like a really bright young lady...

I would suggest that if you like Track as much as you say you do then I would get my rear end into gear...

Taking that first step and admitting you might need some help does not and I repeat does not make you look weak... if anything, in my eyes it marks the sign of a strong person, one who knows their limits and knows when to ask for help.

Your Move Dear...

Well I'm 14 years old, everyone says I'm to young to be having these types of problems but I have them so what am I going to say? As for the grades my parents really want me to have a 4.0 GPA and right now I have a 3.25. The year is coming to an end and I need to work really hard to get it up. The thing with my parents is that they are sort of expecting me to get not only accepted but a scholarship to a bunch of Ivy League Schools. I keep telling them I still have time until college but they don't listen. But the thing is I can't concentrate anymore. I keep thinking how badly I suck at life and screw up everything I do. I just want them to except and respect who I am and not who they want me to be.

[Dimitri]

Well I'm 14 years old, everyone says I'm to young to be having these types of problems but I have them so what am I going to say? As for the grades my parents really want me to have a 4.0 GPA and right now I have a 3.25. The year is coming to an end and I need to work really hard to get it up. The thing with my parents is that they are sort of expecting me to get not only accepted but a scholarship to a bunch of Ivy League Schools. I keep telling them I still have time until college but they don't listen. But the thing is I can't concentrate anymore. I keep thinking how badly I suck at life and screw up everything I do. I just want them to except and respect who I am and not who they want me to be.

Hun, I know how it feels to experience those expectations from your parents...I was the same way but I took it as they couldn't see me accomplishing it so I did, just to prove them wrong.

I would suggest you talk to your counselor about this, you need some help from someone who knows what they are doing.

[xXoblivionXx]

Hun, I know how it feels to experience those expectations from your parents...I was the same way but I took it as they couldn't see me accomplishing it so I did, just to prove them wrong.

I would suggest you talk to your counselor about this, you need some help from someone who knows what they are doing.

I think I might go and see my counselor sometime this week but I don't know what to think anymore. I feel so... empty.

[Dimitri]

I think I might go and see my counselor sometime this week but I don't know what to think anymore. I feel so... empty.

you need to talk to them...

[xXoblivionXx]

you need to talk to them...

them?

[StoppingTime]

them?

Your counselor. They really can help you. You can't do this alone.

[xXoblivionXx]

Your counselor. They really can help you. You can't do this alone.

I guess that I have known that for a while but I guess I'm scared.

[Desuetude]

I guess that I have known that for a while but I guess I'm scared.
What are you scared about? They're there to help you through this, not judge you or hurt you. They just want to be there for you and make sure you're okay. Opening up to them could really help you, take some time to think it through properly.

[xXoblivionXx]

What are you scared about? They're there to help you through this, not judge you or hurt you. They just want to be there for you and make sure you're okay. Opening up to them could really help you, take some time to think it through properly.

I'm not scared of my counselor I'm scared if my parents find out. They won't see me as their daughter anymore they will see me as a disappointment.

[Desuetude]

I'm not scared of my counselor I'm scared if my parents find out. They won't see me as their daughter anymore they will see me as a disappointment.
Of course they will see you as their daughter, all of this wont change that. They want what's best for you and to help you. You are not a dissapointment to anyone and you need someone to be there for you.

[xXoblivionXx]

I'm just not so sure anymore, every time someone starts to get close to me, once they actually start to know me they leave me.

[Desuetude]

I'm just not so sure anymore, every time someone starts to get close to me, once they actually start to know me they leave me.
A councelor can help you though. They want what's best for you and if they left you then they wouldn't be doing their job now would they.
Your parents are exactly the same, they only want you to be happy I bet if they knew what you're feeling they would try and help all they could.
You can trust some people, I understand that letting some people in they can hurt you or they're not strong enough to cope with everything themselves. You can learn when to open up because sometimes it's the only way that will help.

[StoppingTime]

I'm just not so sure anymore, every time someone starts to get close to me, once they actually start to know me they leave me.

That's their problem if it's true, not your fault.

[xXoblivionXx]

I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and be thankful for being alive. I want to go to sleep at night exited for what tomorrow will bring. I just want to be happy again.