Fuck i don't even know any more

[ReasonsForWeeping]

I really just don't know anymore i'm gonna flip my shit i feel like im losing myself as each day passes i only wish i could remember who i used to be or who i am
i dont even know why i go on living everyday i dont see the point anymore like i really feel i have no one would anyone really care if i told them i dont even know who i am i have to fake it every day i lie to myself telling myself what to be i just wish all the voices in my head would stop making me spin all over the place sometimes i feel i cant even contain the voices am i really who i think i am who am i now who was back then where am i i dont even care my voice no longer matters i dont even know where it is anymore i lost it like i lost everyone else theres not much of me left or at least what i think is me i dont even know what i want anymore do i want to live or do i want to die i want both i dont fear death i dont fear anything but the dark the dark scars me i think it's b/c the little bit of me left dosnt want to get devoured by the darknes or maybe im just bat shit insane i dont know what i feel like anymore am i happy or sad would anyone care if i died right here right now would any one even notice i dont think they would whats left of me is slipping away
-Love whatever is left of Raven

[Desuetude]

I really just don't know anymore i'm gonna flip my shit i feel like im losing myself as each day passes i only wish i could remember who i used to be or who i am. i dont even know why i go on living everyday i dont see the point anymore like i really feel i have no one. would anyone really care if i told them i dont even know who i am. i have to fake it every day i lie to myself telling myself what to be.
The thing is you can be whoever you want to be, anyone. So if you want to be someone else and act differently then you have the power to change that about yourself, no one else does. You're not lying to yourself, you've just changed and we all do. If you don't like the person you are now you have the ability to re-write everything. However you think people wont care but you cant know that. People do, sometimes they find it hard to express it or they keep their emotions to themselves but there are people that. would and do care.
i just wish all the voices in my head would stop making me spin all over the place sometimes i feel i cant even contain the voices am i really who i think i am who am i now who was back then where am i, i dont even care my voice no longer matters i dont even know where it is anymore
It's okay, you have to remember that you arethe voices. I'm not at all an expert on this and I have heard about how they can control you but try distracting yourself from them. I just want to say again you don't need to be a certain person, there is no ideal you, you be you and that's the best you can be. Have you talked to someone about the voices though? because sometimes it helps getting it out.
i lost it like i lost everyone else theres not much of me left or at least what i think is me i dont even know what i want anymore do i want to live or do i want to die i want both i dont fear death
The thing is you can't have both. The way I see it is that if you choose die it's over. You can take nothing back, change nothing about your life or how you left things with people. You have to be satisfied with what you left behind and in my mind that's impossibe. Living although maybe the more painful option is one that can be edited and things can be changed. It's okay that you don't know exactly what you want. You don't need your life mapped out for you, just take each day slowly as it comes.
i dont fear anything but the dark the dark scars me i think it's b/c the little bit of me left dosnt want to get devoured by the darknes or maybe im just bat shit insane
You're not at all insane. So many people are afraid of the dark for multiple reasons. Don't think that you have to be strong and fearless all the time. People have their weaknesses but you have to try and learn to work around them and play to your strenghts.
i dont know what i feel like anymore am i happy or sad would anyone care if i died right here right now would any one even notice i dont think they would whats left of me is slipping away
-Love whatever is left of Raven
It's okay to not know what you feel like. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two and things all get merged together. you don't have to work out a defenition and reason for every emotion you feel. Of course people would notice. Don't think that you haven't had an impact on anyones life because I bet you have. Say you caught the bus every morning suddenly you stopped getting on, the girl sitting at the back would be wondering what's happened. Just people you don't even realise it could affect it will. Every person that has spoken or been around you would have something to say, emotion to express so please don't think you're invisable because you really arn't.