need to get it off my chest, bad experence liking best friend

[djcard]

Alright, you see I'm bisexual, and I have a wonderful best friend who's supported me. Well after awhile, i realized I liked HER, so I gathered my courage and with eyes full of tears I told her. She had a boyfriend and she didn't feel the same way. Even after that though she was still my best friend and treated it like it was nothing. Fast forward a few months and her birthday party is coming up, at her party was going to be all her friends and her boyfriend. Now that was the one thing that hurt me, was to see the two of them together. I told her I didn't want to go, but she begged me. So to make her happy I told her I would, but I asked her not to be touchy feely with him in front of me. She said ok.

The first half of the party was fun, drank soda, ate pizza, pretty fun. But then she started hugging on her boyfriend and her friends(who had no idea I liked her) kept trying to get her to sit on his lap, or kiss him, ect. and it was starting to get to me. To try and calm down I sat at a table away from them. Well about a minute later she sat next to me and offered to sing for me. I can't describe how happy it made me to hear her sing, it was something special she did just for me. Well a couple seconds in her boyfriend walked up to her and wrapped his arm around her and interrupted her. That made me so angry and upset..the rest of the party i was sad and depressed, but tried not to show it.

On the way home I cried and cried right next to her(i was going to her house after), but she had earphones in and looked out the window she didn't notice. When we got to her house I wanted to tell her so bad. I wanted her to know how much I hated it, how much it hurt me, but she said it was the best birthday she ever had. I couldn't tell her after that. I couldn't ruin the momory for her, so I told her I would tell her something the next day. The next day I said to forget about it.

It's been a month and she wants to know what it was I wanted to tell her. She made me promise to tell her tomarrow at school. I needed to kind of get it off my mind so I can sleep. I'm scared of how she'll react when I tell her. I dont want to hurt her. :confused: was I right to not tell her that day on her birthday?

[JackShephard]

My advice would be to downplay it a little when you tell her. But be honest at the same time. Say something like "well, it just made me feel a little uncomfortable to see you love someone else. That's all. I was afraid to tell you because I knew you had an awesome birthday and I didn't want to bother you on such a special day" then give her a hug or something to soften it. I don't really think she's going to be mad, and if she is, only for a little bit. You guys sound tight as hell and I doubt something like that will come between you. Be optimistic :)

[Dimitri]

I think you should tell her, any relationship, be it best friends of a romantic one will benefit from an open relationship.

I have found with my boyfriend that things work best when we are open with one another, sure, we may hurt each others feelings once and a while but everything is out in the open and nothing is hidden.

Tell her the truth, she will and should respect you more as a friend for being honest that for sugar coating it.

BUT

You need to also realize this, I think you went into this situation expecting wayyyy too much. Yes, I understand you did not want to be there because her boyfriend was going to be there as well. I think that was rather childish if you ask me.

You knew he was going to be there and I am assuming that you know how most guys would act there, if it was their girlfriends birthday. You lt it get to you, I am not saying that you did not handle it in the appropriate manners but you could have handled it better. You could have gone off with some friends or something, make some new friends while there. He is her boyfriend and she is not yours.

Too me it sounds like a "If I can't have her than no one can have her" kind of thing.

Just tell her, she may be upset in the beginning but if she is your true friend then she will get over it rather quickly and int he end may become an even better friend.

[Pink Floyd]

My advice to you is to let it go, she already said she doesn't have the same romantic feelings towards you. She has a boyfriend and if she knows that you're jealous of him and you want her it will make her feel uncomfortable around you.

Respect her sexuality and just be best friends with her. It seems to me that you're revolving your life and being dependent on only one friend. I use to be the same way,

[boosterboy1]

Downplay the situation a bit, say it upset you and leave it there. You might upset her if you have a go at her.

[djcard]

I want to thank all of you for the advice, she took it wel she wasnt mad at all. I also want to thank you Dimitri, I think your right, i let it get to me and i didnt have to. From now on ill try to handle it better.