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View Full Version : Best Friend + His GF + Me...HELP?


yankeefan7723
April 15th, 2012, 10:52 PM
So my best friend of 3 years (have known him since 5th grade, just haven't been as cool with him since my sophomore/his freshman year) has been dating this girl for roughly three months. During this time her and I have taken a great liking towards each other and I honestly consider her one of my best friends, probably top 5 just because of how much we've talked and shared.

They've always had problems since the start. Constant drama on and off and I was always the mediator and I never minded because I'm good with these things. Then recently earlier this week, it got bad and they split. Later on the same night we were texting and she told me she always wanted to tell me something, but never could because she was dating him. She told me she's always had feelings for me and that we have so much and common and I'm so sweet. She dones't know why she's worrying over this "asshole" when she has someone who "actually cares" right in front of her. Then we texted in book length texts, lol, for like 45 minutes and then talked on the phone for like an hour and a half. The next day we talked for 2 hours. Just recently, an hour. We never talked on the phone exclusively without him in the room. During the texts we just kind of agreed there were feelings between the too of us and we'd agree to kind of keep things calm for a minute. Since then we still text a lot, she sends me a lot pictures (nothing nude, just cute pictures of her) and despite them still having troubles and being on and off, we remain close.

Now during the same time nd more recently tonight he's talking about how he's just ditiching her after prom because he already fucked her. Excuse my bad language btw, it's just what he said. He said he's trying to get it in a few more times before he leaves her and chases other women. Ever since he lost his virginity TO HER, he's acted different. Like he's too great for everyone especially her. He treats like shit. Doesn't care for her problems, is bothered when she tries to call him, and just doesn't care about her meanwhile she's still insanely in love with him despite all the bs.

Then tonight she tells me she got word that he has another gf. He doesn't, but there's this girl he was in love with but never did anything with from last summer. This is the same girl he wants to get with after he dumps her. She's upset, confused, and just not too great these days and it really bothers me he does this to her. I can't sit back while he plays her like this because she a good person who actually loves him and she doesn't deserve it. But if I tell her, prom gets all fucked up.

Should I tell her his plans or just let business take place? I don't want to lose my bestfriend over this, but she's also a really good friend of mine and I can't bear to watch this all go down.

TL;DR version: My bestfriend is planning to dump his gf who has became a good friend of mine after he uses her for sex a few more times. Should I tell her or let nature take it's course?

ashdyn
April 16th, 2012, 01:26 AM
This is a pretty complicated situation with a lot of moving parts...but I think I can help you. I need some more info though...

1. How far away is prom? Schools around where I live are having theirs already but some wait til early may.
2. What are y'all plans? Like was is going to be them two and you? Or her and him then you and a date? Or were you guys planning on being part of a big group/partybus/limo?

Desuetude
April 16th, 2012, 05:15 AM
I think you should tell her what he is planning to do. If you care about her that much then she needs your support whilst he's being an asshole. At least if something happens she'll be prepared for it and hopefully not hurting as much. She'll have some time to think things over and dump him before he can use her again because that's all he's doing.

Once things with them get sorted out if you and this girl decide you want to give things a try I would ask your friend first. It's not like you need his permission to go out with her but it's nice ot give him a heads up and if you value your realtionship (considering you're best friends in sure you do) then you'll respect what he has to say. If he gives you a legitimate excuse as to why you shouldn't go out with her then maybe think about it and give him some time to calm down before you two take things any further.

You need to remember there are three of you involved in this and you need to take in to account all of your feelings. It seems as if you're in the middle here therefore you have to be the grown up and do what's right.

Smeagol
April 16th, 2012, 07:15 AM
Yeah, you really ought to tell her because it could get really bad otherwise. If he's just using her for sex than he's a creep and shouldn't be going out with her. Maybe you shouldn't try to start a relationship with her right away because you don't want a rebound relationship... Or you could take her to the prom.., there's a lot of things you could do but do tell her what he's planning on doing.

WithoutFear
April 16th, 2012, 09:04 AM
talk to him about it first. dont tell her about his plans, its something she should hear from her boyfriend atm. if you do tell her and they do break up, you may seem accountable for it, and lose a friend in the process

Aves
April 16th, 2012, 12:11 PM
I think you should talk to him first, and tell him that he needs to tell her if that's just his intentions. If he refuses, then you tell her. That's not fair to her in the least.

kenoloor
April 16th, 2012, 01:49 PM
I think you should talk to him first, and tell him that he needs to tell her if that's just his intentions. If he refuses, then you tell her. That's not fair to her in the least.

Agreed; I think it's better that you confront him and explain your opinion. And if he fails to concede, then talk to her about it. She doesn't deserve to be treated like some sex object.