Bad Day

[MemoriesLost]

I've been good about not cutting lately, and I told myself this morning that I would keep it up and avoid it today.
I failed.
My mom wanted to take my measurements for dance costumes, and she was a bit rough. She opened one of the cuts on my arm and it started bleeding. She got super confused ((She doesn't know)) and asked me what it was. Naturally, I freaked out. I probably sounded like this: 'I... Um..... Cut myself....... Shaving.'
It's the best thing I could think up on the spot. She rolled her eyes, told me to clean up, and gave me a 'Don't shave your arms' lecture. Her, my dad, and my sister laughed and got into this giant discussion about how stupid I could be and how I just couldn't grow up.
I tried SO HARD not to, but I ended up cutting again. Now I'm really really mad at myself, so I had to rant on here so I don't cut again.
After all that, mom got the report card from school.
She got really mad, because she wanted all A's and I got two B's. She told me I was setting myself up for failure and I need to devote myself to school and only school. A few hours later when my dad got home, she told HIM about the B's. He got pretty mad too and said I would never get anything right and how he couldn't believe I was a part of a family that never had this problem with anyone else. I cut again.
This is just turning out to be a very bad day.
Plus, school starts again tomorrow. Fun.

[StoppingTime]

First off, don't get too worked up about failing, because really, you didn't. Just about anyone who tries to stop self harming, will fall into problems. It isn't anything to be ashamed of. It's just part of the healing process. Eventually, you'll get there.

It's good that you came on here though, instead of cutting more. That really helps, even if you are just venting; that's why we're here. Stay and rant as long as you'd like, we aren't here to judge you. This place is like a safe spot, where you can tell anyone what's on your mind, and how you're dealing with it.
Next time, try the same thing, but give yourself even more distractions. Talk with someone, listen to music, any of that.

And don't take what you're family is saying to heart. They don't understand how hard it probably is for you, and will expect the best no matter what. Of course, you are far from "setting yourself up to fail."
Can you tell anyone (therapist, trusted friend) about how they are treating you? It is wrong, and someone needs to know about it. Just tell yourself that you really are trying, and you don't need self harm. It only makes things worse in the end, and you'll only end up feeling guiltier.
If you can, talk to someone, and just let them know how you're being treated.

Just work on distractions, and telling yourself you don't need to cut.
You can do it. :)

[Desuetude]

Don't get annoyed at cutting again, think about how long you managed to last without it. Focus on that instead of the relapse.
What you parents say isn't true at all. All A's and two B's that is amazing, you should be so proud of yourself for that and they should be supporting you instead of putting you down (though I know how you feel, my parents do it as well). They are overreacting way to much, you can't spend all your time studying and leaving everything else out because things will just get worse. Spend time with friends and go out, don't get stuck in your room stressed and angry because nothing good will come out of that and you will end up getting bored and not wanting to study anyway.
You are probably more grown up than they realise or than you should be. Don't think that you need to change because you don't, you are amazing and so strong exactly as you are, you don't need to change anything about you especially because of the lies your parents are telling you. You don't deserved to be laughed at, I know it feels horrible but you just need to try and keep your chin up, you can get through it, just walk away from them and make sure you can't hear them.
It's okay that you relapsed, the fact that you're angry with yourself shows that you want to stop and that's great. You need to try and pick yourslef back up again, you can do it.

[Sonic Boom]

Can you tell anyone (therapist, trusted friend) about how they are treating you? It is wrong, and someone needs to know about it. Just tell yourself that you really are trying, and you don't need self harm. It only makes things worse in the end, and you'll only end up feeling guiltier.
If you can, talk to someone, and just let them know how you're being treated. You can do it. :)

I suggest you take special note of this. No-one deserves this kind of shabby treatment. If you did your very best, there is no reason for them to be so harsh.

I'm sure that if the family were to know the truth of what's going on, they would be very ashamed of their behavior towards you.