Anonymous X
April 15th, 2012, 01:12 AM
Hello there, I'm a bit new here and I would like some advice on a certain matter. Before making a decision on the question being asked, read my story and see if it would be the right decision. I'll ask the question now while giving you a few details. I was sexually abused by my father as a child and I have finally accepted it, should I tell my mom? If so, how?
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Okay, as a child I used to stay at my dad's for a 3 days a week (parents never married and they never really liked each other). My dad was/is a drug addict and during the times I stayed by his house he would make me take a shower with him and while he was high he would touch me inappropriately and make jokes about it. I never thought anything of it, I just assumed that was how everyone's father/son relationship was. My mom and grandma would occasionally ask me if anyone had tried to touch me down there and I would always say no. For years, I showed the "signs" of being sexually abused as a child (I still do). Eventually, my mom made me stop going to my dad's house because of his drug problem.I hardly ever see him anymore and when I do it's a very awkward situation. For years I've tried to forget that what he did to me ever happened. I tried convincing myself it didn't, and when I start to think too much about it I stop myself before I go too far. I was doing fine until a few weeks ago until one of my best friends told me that she had been sexually abused as a child, too. She told me because she said she "knew" that the same thing happened to me too. She's the only person I've "told," and I didnt even tell her, she figured it out on her own.That's when all of my memories started coming back. My fuzzy memories of my childhood finally became clear and I started having nightmares again. To this day, I still try and tell myself it didn't happen or I just made it up. I try not to think about this too much because I'm scared I'll go crazy and start cutting again. (I still don't know the real reason for my cutting.) Anyways, I'm just starting to remember what happened to me as a child and I was wondering if I should tell my mom. What if I'm wrong and this never happened? What if I tell her and she takes him to court or something (she already hate him)? Hasn't he already been punished enough (he's been to jail for drugs multiple times)? If I tell, then I'll be looked at as a helpless victim and a charity case. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but then again, this could all just be made up. This entire thing could have just been dreamt or something. But in reality, I don't know what to do. I need some advice. (I already see a therapist but I doubt that I'll ever get enough courage to tell him everything, that's why I'm asking you guys.)
Thanks in advance. :D
To the people who respond to my ramblings posted above: I will repay you somehow. (Or maybe the universe will repay you for your kind actions.)
(I left out some details so I wouldn't have to relive the memories so sorry about lack of detail I guess.)
Oh yeah, and sorry about the wall of text. :)
And for those wondering, I'm a 16 year old guy.
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Okay, as a child I used to stay at my dad's for a 3 days a week (parents never married and they never really liked each other). My dad was/is a drug addict and during the times I stayed by his house he would make me take a shower with him and while he was high he would touch me inappropriately and make jokes about it. I never thought anything of it, I just assumed that was how everyone's father/son relationship was. My mom and grandma would occasionally ask me if anyone had tried to touch me down there and I would always say no. For years, I showed the "signs" of being sexually abused as a child (I still do). Eventually, my mom made me stop going to my dad's house because of his drug problem.I hardly ever see him anymore and when I do it's a very awkward situation. For years I've tried to forget that what he did to me ever happened. I tried convincing myself it didn't, and when I start to think too much about it I stop myself before I go too far. I was doing fine until a few weeks ago until one of my best friends told me that she had been sexually abused as a child, too. She told me because she said she "knew" that the same thing happened to me too. She's the only person I've "told," and I didnt even tell her, she figured it out on her own.That's when all of my memories started coming back. My fuzzy memories of my childhood finally became clear and I started having nightmares again. To this day, I still try and tell myself it didn't happen or I just made it up. I try not to think about this too much because I'm scared I'll go crazy and start cutting again. (I still don't know the real reason for my cutting.) Anyways, I'm just starting to remember what happened to me as a child and I was wondering if I should tell my mom. What if I'm wrong and this never happened? What if I tell her and she takes him to court or something (she already hate him)? Hasn't he already been punished enough (he's been to jail for drugs multiple times)? If I tell, then I'll be looked at as a helpless victim and a charity case. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but then again, this could all just be made up. This entire thing could have just been dreamt or something. But in reality, I don't know what to do. I need some advice. (I already see a therapist but I doubt that I'll ever get enough courage to tell him everything, that's why I'm asking you guys.)
Thanks in advance. :D
To the people who respond to my ramblings posted above: I will repay you somehow. (Or maybe the universe will repay you for your kind actions.)
(I left out some details so I wouldn't have to relive the memories so sorry about lack of detail I guess.)
Oh yeah, and sorry about the wall of text. :)
And for those wondering, I'm a 16 year old guy.