Wiltedrose2394
April 14th, 2012, 11:24 PM
How can I self harm when I told my mother that I would try to stop?
How can I avoid self harming altogether?
I have been cutting for nearly three years. I started as a freshman in high school. At the start of my junior year, my cutting worsened. I went from making little scratches with a scissors, to making real cuts with a knife. In three short weeks after school started, I became suicidal and depressed. I was admitted to a psych ward. Over the next eight months, I was admitted eight more times, and my cutting progressively got worse. At one point in time, I had made 300+ cuts all over my body in one sitting. After my last stay last may, I really eased up on the cutting. I was only cutting a few times a month, and for two months it even stopped completely. Now that it's nearly a year later, and I have been increasingly depressed, I am suicidal and my cutting has increased to at least twice a day.
My mom has noticed. She begged me to stop. She said she didn't want me to have more scars. I have hundreds of them all over my body as it is. I want to stop too, but what can I do? I'm in sooooo much pain!!!! I hate myself sooooooooo much right now!!!!! I can't do much else!!!! I want to hurt myself so bad!!!!
But I told my mom I would try to hold back. We had a long talk and she understands where I'm coming from. But it still is super hard. I'm already taking precautions; I'm keeping everything sanitary, and I'm not going very deep. What can I do? I hate myself to death.
Anybody help? Please tell me any suggestions you have. I'm desperate and need advice; and I truly value your opinion.
Thanks for your help!
How can I avoid self harming altogether?
I have been cutting for nearly three years. I started as a freshman in high school. At the start of my junior year, my cutting worsened. I went from making little scratches with a scissors, to making real cuts with a knife. In three short weeks after school started, I became suicidal and depressed. I was admitted to a psych ward. Over the next eight months, I was admitted eight more times, and my cutting progressively got worse. At one point in time, I had made 300+ cuts all over my body in one sitting. After my last stay last may, I really eased up on the cutting. I was only cutting a few times a month, and for two months it even stopped completely. Now that it's nearly a year later, and I have been increasingly depressed, I am suicidal and my cutting has increased to at least twice a day.
My mom has noticed. She begged me to stop. She said she didn't want me to have more scars. I have hundreds of them all over my body as it is. I want to stop too, but what can I do? I'm in sooooo much pain!!!! I hate myself sooooooooo much right now!!!!! I can't do much else!!!! I want to hurt myself so bad!!!!
But I told my mom I would try to hold back. We had a long talk and she understands where I'm coming from. But it still is super hard. I'm already taking precautions; I'm keeping everything sanitary, and I'm not going very deep. What can I do? I hate myself to death.
Anybody help? Please tell me any suggestions you have. I'm desperate and need advice; and I truly value your opinion.
Thanks for your help!