My Friends

[Dimitri]

I know that I constantly tell people on here that if your friends do not support you than who fucking needs them.

BUT

I am having a problem, last night I had the option to go to a party for my friend who is moving, I hadn't seen her in a few years nor any of my friends that were there and part of the invitation was to bring a friend, the more the better.

I asked my one friend who was going who knew about Josh, my boyfriend and I if I should bring him along. He told me that now would be as good of a time as ever so seeing that many of my friends who didn't know I was bi and that I did have boyfriend were going to be there that I should telly hem.

My friends, whom I all know are Facebook whores and would have our eMail invite and be constantly reading it would see what I posted.

ohhh yeah, hey guys, something I need to tell ya'll, over the past few months some things have changed...I cam tout as bi and josh is my boyfriend.

If any of you have a problem with it text me and I won't come and if you don't have a number for me it is **********, I don't need to be in a place where I am not welcome.

I was told to come anyways but some other members but when I got there it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, I was ignored by the people I held the closest to me. We, Josh and I were ignored, it was as if we both had three heads and spoke different languages, it was so awkward.

My best friend throughout high school and middle school kept using the term faggot and gay the whole night even after I asked him to cool down some, I was so pissed.

We went to LaserQuest after wards for an Iron Man Competition and Josh has asthma, he can't play but he wanted me too, as soon as they got their tickets they left to go tot he other side of the holding room, they ditched us. I got pissed and told them I had an EMS call to go on, got my money back and left with Josh...

It was horrible, we were verbally abused and neglected by the people that i held closest to me and who have always supported me in everything that I did. I don't want to leave them...

What should I do, how should I handle this? Should I stay with my friends who were nice or leave them as well because they didn't stand up for me, they had a voice and didn't use it...

:-(

[Jupiter]

Listen, Lee.

I know that it seems that they are the people who you need in your life, but if they don't accept you for who you are, and who you love being, then why be friends with them. You couldn't pick yourself, and I'm sure that if you could choose, you would still stay with Josh. He seems to be the perfect guy for you. I'm glad that some friends were real. Those people who were all mean and stuff, they aren't the people you need. If all else fails, you still have me, Lee.

[Donkey]

give anyone involved one last talk to try to explain what it's about and if they aren't having it then fuck them, they were never your friends

[Breakeven]

ur friends should have stand up for u , u should have told them but u should have stood up for u self and told ur friend and what he call u its not nice and he need to respect him self coz calling u that what does that make him ? but dont leave ur friends coz they didnt stand up for u but if u want u could tell them

[Rayquaza]

That's just awful. I feel so sorry for you. It just goes to show that your closest friends never really were there for you. Give them a week, and if they don't wise up then they're just no good for you. You have Josh, and that's all you need. Sometimes, you need to follow your heart than your head.

[Stronger]

Cleary I think you need to move on, treating you and Josh like shit thats horrible. Ignorng you and using those terms should have been a signal that they aren't the same people you once knew. All that time you spent drifting away probably could have done that, but that gives them no right what so ever to treat you and your boyfriend like shit. Whether you wanna contiune to talk to them or not is up to you, but if you do, seriously have a talk with them, ask them, why they treated you's with disrespect and if they give you shitty respones then just fuck them and leave them alone, cause they're better people then them. Sorry if this sounds harsh but that is just not right how they acted/treated you two.

[embers]

Jon summed it up really well I think, the people who treated you like shit are not worth your time man. I'm sorry to hear that this is how people reacted to you coming out.

[Scarface]

Hey Rob, I told you I was gonna reply so here it be.

Well that's a pretty pathetic thing that your friends or your so called friends that were supposed to stick by you through shit and even through difference and hardship, they didn't.

So think about that for a second hun, these people are leaving you because of a minor change in you and the change that they must fear or cannot get used to, but let me tell you something, that's their problem, that's their prerogative. When i thnk of good friends I think of life long trust worthy and well bounded friends that are always going to be there, no matter what's told. These people you call your friends are obviously not your friends and if they're going to shun you because of that change, then you no longer need such scum. I know it seems so hard losing the friends that are close to you, I know how that is; but to be honest, life is always going to throw a curve ball at you and you have to deal with it as you go along.

Let's face it, you have josh now and you're happy with him and he's happy with you, that's what matters and you need to stay prideful of that. Whether your friends are gonna be there or not, you can always get new friends, you saw their true colors and they showed how fucked up and pathetic they are, big deal. When you put yourself out into the community, you hang your shoulders high, you hold his hand and when you meet new people, stand your ground, and be proud of who you are as you should be. Don't let such people bring you down to their sorrowful excuse for existence, its not worth the space in your head, I know you're probably confused and sad about this loss, but its not the end of the world, I know with everything that you have going for you, that not just this is going to bring you down, especially what you already have.

Dump those fucks and move onto what you truly deserve and don't take any shit, those names display more and more of what they're truly worth, remember that.

[Dimitri]

I feel horrible now... I go this email an hour ago from my friend Tessa, she was the host of the party.


Bobby --
If you don't know me by now, I feel as if the past 6 years of our friendship basically meant nothing to you. You really think I have a problem with the path you have chosen? Last night, when you arrived at my party, I was nothing but welcoming to the both of you. Do you not remember me giving Josh a hug AND introducing him to everyone there? How much more supportive could I have possibly been? Out of everyone there, I tried my hardest to make sure Josh was included and you were both comfortable because I knew walking in, you were nervous. As the night went on, you were joking just as much as we were about everything, so you can't be upset at the jokes we told or the way we picked at each other. I promise you that NO ONE at that party judged you or Josh. Honestly, I was hurt when you both decided to skip out on Laser Quest for many reasons. 1.) We tried numerous times to include Josh at the party (asking him if he wanted food, to play laser quest, to play video games, etc) and he declined all the offers. 2.) We knew the excuse you came up with wasn't true, and you left without saying goodbye to anyone. 3.) You brought 2 people with you, and we had to insecurely squeeze 7 people into Clint's car. If he would have been pulled over, we all would have been screwed. Did you think of that? Lastly, just personally, as the host of the party, I was a little offended to know that after I planned, invited, and paid for most of it, one of my best friends had the nerve to drive off without even talking it out, or helping me to understand why you were so uncomfortable.

Adam told me you weren't happy with his behavior last night, and I can admit that sometimes he is obnoxious and loud, but seriously Bobby....that's EXACTLY why we've been friends with Adam for so long. And you've never had a problem with his personality until last night. Did you expect us all to change to impress Josh? That wasn't very fair of you to assume we were going to change the way we are. Again, how long have we been friends, Bobby? No matter what choice you make in life, true friends will accept you no matter what, and I believe everyone there was very accepting and polite towards Josh. We are good people and haven't changed a bit. And last night, we saw a side of you that we've never seen before. It wasn't the normal Bobby that we grew up with. Nevertheless, we still love you to death and support you, but you can't expect us to change our personalities to benefit you.

Please, don't be mad. We were just looking for a good time, no matter who came. ---- Tessa <3


I responded back this..


Tessa,

I feel horrible please but there are some things I want to say…

I came into this thinking the same thing that I thought before I told my parents, I wanted to run the other direction and never come back, I have always loved you in a way that I cannot explain. It realty did hurt me when I let last evening.

Yes, I remember you giving Josh a hug and me and introducing him to everyone that was there… you could not have been more supportive, I didn’t know if you knew that he was my boyfriend and I figured you did by the time Tim, Clint and Adam left to get the controllers but when you asked me if Josh was more than my friend I really didn’t know what to say, I wanted to say yes, but I was still afraid even then, I even though to myself “I put it in the fucking email on Facebook that I was bringing my boyfriend…” but I cannot expect you, when you are running around all day working to put that party together to keep up with those things, I felt horrible.

I was kind of upset that you didn’t really get to know Josh, you didn’t ask where he went to school, where he was from or asked what he was interested in and he isn’t the kind of person like we are where we can sit down and talk about anything and everything. He is very shy. But I am making excuses for me not introducing him myself.

I left without saying goodbye to anyone because it was too much for me to take, I was so upset and I didn’t take the time to think it through. I didn’t take the time to talk it out because I thought that you needed to be with everyone else who was there, you were the hostess and your duty was to the group first rather than myself. And now I look back and realize I was assuming and making an ass out of myself instead of being a grownup about it and just talking to you right then and there. And yes, I was pissed at Adam. I guess he neglected to tell you that when I went to drive he and Gabe to LQ his response to me when Josh sat in the front seat was “why is he so fucking special?” It really pissed me off. Yes, I know he is obnoxious and all I asked him to do was to “cool your jets, just a little, that is all I ask…” I have honestly had a problem with Adam since the second to last soccer game that he attended with you and me when he shoved you, resulting in you almost falling over and hurting yourself. Personally a girl should NEVER be touched in that manner unless she is trying to kill you but that is my personal thoughts.

No, I did not expect you to all change, I was hoping for some respect and for some reason I did not think I saw it, I don’t know why, I have been away from all of you for so long I sometimes forget how we functioned. I love you dearly Tessa and there is honestly nothing more that I fear than having someone hate me unless I hate him or her first.


Honestly, and I want you to be honest, what is this side of me that you have never seen? I would like you to be totally honest and not hold anything back.

I have felt left out of our group of friends since I left for Perry, I did not know what to expect.

I do not know if Josh was just expecting hatred because he came out as being gay at Central Catholic and they were brutal to him, but I cannot speak for him. I am just bi… ehhh, I don’t know anymore.

I am again so sorry for last evening.

Regards,
Robert
<3


What do I do now?

[Stronger]

It seems theres two different view points from that night, what do you believe in your heart, do you think you did the right thing by leaving or did you just not realize how they actually treated Josh, she seems to have treated him with some respect, not sure about anyone else there. Honestly maybe talking it out would have been better than driving off, but that was your choice, I think you should try and see them in person and all have a big talk about the situation, vs over the computer.

[RoseyCadaver]

give anyone involved one last talk to try to explain what it's about and if they aren't having it then fuck them, they were never your friends

Yep. If people really can't take you just because you're with someone of the same sex, they don't deserve someone as cool as you. That's how I see it anyways.

However, I would try talking to her more, because I feel it's more of a misunderstanding than it is anything else.

[Josiah7]

Yeah mate I'm with Jon and Ronnie, they summed my opinion up. From what I have read of that email, there seems to be mixed messages sent between you and the group, and if it were me, I'd confront everyone and explain it in person. Tell them that you have been friends for so long, and you do not wish to change that, and to be honest, I don't believe they want to change that. You will find that many people do not know how to handle a situation like that, Ive seen it in my life when a few of my friends have announced they are gay/bi, some like myself didn't care and got on with life, some of my other friends found it as a shock and made jokes about them, some even broke friendship because of it. Everyone reacts differently. Those who are true friends, (Tessa sounds like one of them) will not change anything, if they do break away from you, why would you want to call them your friends anyway?

Chin up mate :)

[Mirage]

This is completely disgusting. I just cannot BELIEVE the extent people will go to to hurt others. It literally makes me angry knowing this is going on. The world is shit, you know that? Ugh. VM me if you want to talk, I really hope those "friends" get their acts together.

[Dimitri]

Well i am waiting for a response from here...I will let you know if anything pops up...thanks guys

[aaayyoo_avery]

Listen, Lee.

I know that it seems that they are the people who you need in your life, but if they don't accept you for who you are, and who you love being, then why be friends with them. You couldn't pick yourself, and I'm sure that if you could choose, you would still stay with Josh. He seems to be the perfect guy for you. I'm glad that some friends were real. Those people who were all mean and stuff, they aren't the people you need. If all else fails, you still have me, Lee.


agree

[botwa]

Honestly I'm curious why you had to tell all the people. You could have come there just with your friend and nobody would have even noticed that.

anyway you said some people had no problem with that, did they turn away from you too?

[Dimitri]

Why, because I wanted to be myself and not fear any judgment, I wanted to kiss my boyfriend and have my friends be okay with it.

[botwa]

I asked because I think it's your right to be with your friend and it's only your issues.
asking made you look dependent on their opinion so they felt like they can judge before you came to the party.
I really think that if you turned up without asking would have been better. It's only between you and your partner.
maybe your friends thought of your question as some kind showing off, idk.

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

If they can't accept you for who you are, then they're not worth it. Yes, I know it's not easy to break apart from everything and everyone you love, but is it really worth all the pain just so that you can hang out with them?