ApresMidi
April 13th, 2012, 04:16 PM
Well, I used to use a friends old account to browse VT.... and I've lurked for ages and I found that... sometimes [ not due to people on this ,you're all LOVELY] that .. the urge was 3x larger, it triggered just reading about peoples own experiences, its rekindled my own.
Yesterday was heartbreaking I suppose too, which didnt help ,but I've been cutting deeper recently too.
Why am I bleeding less?
I used to bleed super easily, d even the nurse when she took my IV out after a surgery commented on how much I bled.
But now...I'm not,and its bad news as its what I cut for . I dont want to cut particularly deep, if a flood of blood came out after scratching the surface of the skin , i would be content with that.
Red pen/ink/paint doesnt work either , I don't know why, it just has to be blood.
But its not that I want more, im just not oozing blood ,which I used to ,and I need.
damn it all.
Oh and unrequited affection? Sucks. Majorly.
:headache:
Yesterday was heartbreaking I suppose too, which didnt help ,but I've been cutting deeper recently too.
Why am I bleeding less?
I used to bleed super easily, d even the nurse when she took my IV out after a surgery commented on how much I bled.
But now...I'm not,and its bad news as its what I cut for . I dont want to cut particularly deep, if a flood of blood came out after scratching the surface of the skin , i would be content with that.
Red pen/ink/paint doesnt work either , I don't know why, it just has to be blood.
But its not that I want more, im just not oozing blood ,which I used to ,and I need.
damn it all.
Oh and unrequited affection? Sucks. Majorly.
:headache: