Am I a bad person because......

[DerBear]

Well on another forum that I go on that is somewhat similar to this. however a lot lot smaller. Their is this guy who has confessed to having self harm issues and suicidal thoughts. Now normally when I am browsing these forums or any forums and I come across these types of threads or posts I genuinely feel for those who have problems or issues. You know I do feel for that person. But for this one particular person I feel nothing for.

Now this one particular person has lied and threatened people and caused general chaos and upsetting and I, for one do not trust him. I do not think he has lied about anything he has said with the self harming or the suicidal tendinitis/thoughts. However, I do feel absolutely nothing when he tells me about it. You know its like I feel nothing, I don't feel bad or good. I just feel nothing and when I read peoples threads on here I always feel something but for him I don't.

I have kinda put this down to the fact that he has lied and upset people and in general has been unkind at times and I have put it down to this the fact that I don't feel anything for him.

So anyway I was wondering does this make me a bad person? Because like I said when I read threads on here with similar issues I always feel for the paticular poster, but because this person has caused hurt and has caused problems and the fact that I don't trust him has lead to me not being able to feel for him. So I ask, does this make me a bad person?

Any input would be welcomed. Thanks.

[TeddyBearRock]

Your not a bad person for disliking someone, so you just feel differently

[Fractured Silhouette]

No it doesn't. If this guy has been causing other people grief, he can't complain when nobody feels for him when wants/needs help. You can't force yourself to feel sorry for someone, so when you say you feel for people on this forum, it's because they have done nothing to make you see them in a negative way.

The fact that you decided to wonder whether it makes you a good person or not for not feeling for this guy proves that you are not a bad person. If you where, you wouldn't worry about not feeling sorry or anything. You would have just forgotten about it.

Look, I don't know this guy, but he doesn't sound very nice so you shouldn't worry about whether you feel sorry for him or not. If it helps, you could give him some advice, you don't have to feel anything to give advice and it might help you feel better.

Anyway, hope this helps.

[Erasmus]

No, you're not a bad person. It's not right for the person you're talking about to do things like what you said, so don't worry.

[Jupiter]

I know this person, I know this person. I know all the details.

I do not trust him either. I really don't know how I could get to the point where I do trust him. I don't know whether he is joking or not. On the contrary from you, I do feel sorry for him. I believe that what has been said in this thread differs from what I believe.

Yeah, he has lied, and he has been an ass, but ya know what? Everyone has those people who have done these things. We have done things that were not so good. Maybe it was not this, but no matter what, I still feel sorry for him.

I would say that it is rather rude to think that he deserves the self harm. I'm not sure if anyone in this thread self harms or has honestly contemplated suicide. No matter how much he has been rude, threatened, whatever.. I do think it is wrong not to feel even the slightest sorry.

But that's just what I think.

[DerBear]

I know this person, I know this person. I know all the details.

I do not trust him either. I really don't know how I could get to the point where I do trust him. I don't know whether he is joking or not. On the contrary from you, I do feel sorry for him. I believe that what has been said in this thread differs from what I believe.

Yeah, he has lied, and he has been an ass, but ya know what? Everyone has those people who have done these things. We have done things that were not so good. Maybe it was not this, but no matter what, I still feel sorry for him.

I would say that it is rather rude to think that he deserves the self harm. I'm not sure if anyone in this thread self harms or has honestly contemplated suicide. No matter how much he has been rude, threatened, whatever.. I do think it is wrong not to feel even the slightest sorry.

But that's just what I think.

Well Eric I did say I never felt any positive response to his self harming. I just feel nothing. Eric people who lie and cheat and cause harm to others in a manipulative way don't deserve my trust. Sure I am far from a perfect person but to be honest because he has lied and cheated and caused harm it's just so hard to trust him and because I don't trust him I don't have sympathy towards him. I would love to have it. To feel something. But I feel nothing and if you think its wrong I can't change you're mind but I hope you do see it from my point of view. Maybe we care more about the past and things said than we do about the future maybe this is where I differ from you.

Anyway thanks for the reply

[Dimitri]

I k.ow what you mean. With my job I go out on calls for suicides every so often and it is part of my job to show empathy and I do but does that mean I feel it, no. I don't. I get continuous calls to a certian house and I never know if it is true or not but I do it anyways.

Bottom line. Take every threat as if it was real and always show compassion because you never know if it might truely be their last attempt to reach out to someone.