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View Full Version : Helping J: a really long post


boonsim
April 12th, 2012, 08:51 PM
So, this is kind of old news for us, but I think it's still a problem.

The people in the situation are as follows (abbreviated for privacy's sake):
Me - me ("I" is not another person, it is me!)
L - my best friend
H - another friend of mine
J - H's ex girlfriend
K - J's ex best friend

I never saw H and J as a happy couple. In fact, they broke up early this year. In early March, J hatched a plan to get H back. See, J is a bit crazy, so her idea was to seduce H into sex with her. She purchased some condoms online and they came to her house. Her parents found them, and she got into a lot of trouble. Then, her parents called K's parents to complain about J. K found out and immediately stopped being friends with J, calling her trash and immoral. Afterwards, Ks parents called H's parents. This was a really difficult moment for him as he had to explain to his parents that he wasn't having sex with J. K broke the news to L and me the next day. When J found out that K told us, she had had enough. She told us she was going to kill herself. This left the group divided:

K and I were really concerned for her safety.

L and H were being complete assholes about it.

In the end, she said she was never going to commit suicide, and evidently she never did. Problem solved.

Or was it? J now has no friends. I mean that literally. I feel sorry for her and want to include her in the group again, but K, J and L all hate her now.

So what do you think I should do? Accept that J is gone, or try to change the others' minds?

Desuetude
April 13th, 2012, 03:08 AM
I don't think things between you all could ever work like they used to, I mean it sounds as if they really don't like her now and I don't think you could get them to change their minds, you could try but Im not to sure.
You could spend time with J. You don't need your friends there to include her, you could also try wearing one of the others down like K because it seems as if she cared a lot for her. You could just leave her to it if but it's nice to try and help. She has to want to make friends, new friends, if she doesn't help herself then you can't expect to be able to help.