going to a family party...

[Fractured Silhouette]

Right I'm going to family party. It's my parent's birthday celebration. Right, because it's their birthday they said I had to be sociable. That means, no headphones and I have to have conversations with people. The impression I got was "If you don't talk to people and enjoy yourself then you are screwed!" They're not abusive. But if I do something wrong my mother will get really sad and make me feel guilty, while my dad will either hurl insults or say he feels 'disappointed' in who I am. I just need to fake it, somehow. While the enjoyment thing I could fake, it's the whole social interaction thing which is the big problem.

Anybody have any advice? I just need to talk to a few people. Anybody know how to get more comfortable around people?

[Stronger]

They just want you to have a good time, so talking to family/friends can't be that bad. Just go and have a fun time, I doubt it would kill you to just talk to a few people without your music, or simply leave it in your pocket for later. But if you feel you can't just talk to one or two people atleast then just sit around them and make small comments, like you are apart of the convo.

[Fractured Silhouette]

That's just it, I can talk to my family. I can also talk to friends fine. It's just that none of my family other than my parents and my uncle is going to be there. It's just my parent's friends, most of whom I don't know. I might have felt more comfortable without the added pressure from my parents to converse. Plus the party is being held in a public place, which just makes it worse. I suppose I'll try to enjoy myself, thanks for the advice...

[FullyAlive]

I absolutely hate family parties but we all have to go to them. If you go with the mentality that it won't be fun, then you won't have any fun.

Could you ask if you could bring a friend maybe? One that your parents like?

But if not then just look at it as one night for your parents. Just mingle say a few things to a few people smile, be nice. Take the right attitude and it'll be over before you know it.

[Quercus]

Get alittle tipsy :)

[boonsim]

Get alittle tipsy :)

That is awful advice.

Anyways, maybe you should try talking to some of these people. Having to be social is not a death sentence!

[Truth]

That is awful advice.

Anyways, maybe you should try talking to some of these people. Having to be social is not a death sentence! Maybe for your family.. when I go hangout with my bestfriend at his family parties, all of the teens are off behind a building getting drunk. Quite funny really. :yes:

[Stryker125]

I think the only way to really get comfortable around people is to be around people. I'm terribly shy, so a few summers ago I got a job at a store called Pacsun, and my main job was to talk to people that came in and help them out with stuff. In order to be good at it, I had to break out of my shell a little. I'm still pretty shy, but not nearly as much as I used to be.

Maybe you should just go out to a few places, and just get comfortable being around people, maybe even say hi to people

[Fractured Silhouette]

The thing is, I don't think my mentality has anything to do with it. Maybe it does. But the last time I did anything similar to this. I was looking forward to it for weeks. It wasn't really a party, but it was a social gathering, it was just me and people from my school. I thought I could finally get to know people, maybe make some new friends, but as soon as i got there, they all started socializing, except me, I tried but every time, I would get like really nervous, even when they asked me if i wanted to join in, I just sat on the edge not saying anything. These where people who are my age as-well. I just know i'm gonna somehow let them down. The only subject matters were I feel confident is music, science, video-games and possibly books. But it's all the same, everyone wants to talk about gossip mostly. Even if one of these subjects arises, I don't voice my opinion on it until, i'm completely positive it makes sense. It's really hard to explain... I avoid human contact anywhere possible. Even on this site, I didn't feel comfortable [still don't in some respects] until I actually asked if I could join in. Posting is more like shouting into a crowd of people and then them shouting out advice, so it feels more impersonal, but people have asked if I have ever wanted to talk to send them a message, I just can't. <--Hope this explains in more detail my social situation.

I couldn't take along another friend, because the place where going to is expensive, which is something my parents have made me [VERY] much aware.

Get alittle tipsy :)

You know, I've tried something similar to this. It made me sociable, but it also made me extremely paranoid, I don't like using alcohol or drugs to socialize because i'm sure i'll say something i'll regret. I've even used weed a couple of times. I'd rather not do or say anything I will regret later.

I know what my problem is, I worry too much. I can't help it. Thanks for the advice guys.

[Chachi123]

i also dont really like to deal with family parties and stuff..depends on who is going ?
;)

[Phazit]

I always like to make myself seem older and more sophisticated than I actually am in front of new people. One of the most effective ways to engage people in conversation that I have found in situations like this is to discuss your parent's past with their friends. Obviously don't go straight into it but it can leave you laughing, shocked and cringing. It made me also slightly angry that my Mum and Dad did inappropriate things at my age and I am not allowed to do much. Anyway, regard, disregard - this is just an idea that both ends of the conversation can relate to. (Again, just try to break the ice first with some small talk :))

[Love.Hate]

I hate family functions too.. Ask if you can take someone? Or possibly, find your favourite family member and talk to them all night, you dont have to make a massive effort to be sociable just the fact you're there counts :)

I hope it goes okay

[Fractured Silhouette]

Thanks guys. I went, because they where all too busy getting drunk, they hardly noticed me. Looks like I was stressing for nothing, again. Also my favourite family friend did come along and I managed to stick with him all night. Thanks for the advice.