Wooba
April 11th, 2012, 08:39 PM
**this is a rant**
Lately i've been really down, and that's not like me at all. Everything is catching up to me and it sucks. I hate everything about my past, my whole life i've been trying to move on from it, but something always puts me right back where i started.
Everytime things start to look better another dramatic event happens that i have to find a way to cope with. It sucks. usually i have a somewhat optimistic outlook on things, but i don't see the point anymore. optimism is just a false reality.
My brother's had a lot of emotional problems, he's attempted suicide and all that. my mom's had a really hard life, and no one ever respects her. It hurts me so much to see how sad she really is inside. my father is just.. ugh. he's not around a lot, and when he is things don't go so well. Outside of them i don't have any family. Basically that leaves me, the youngest. I've always felt as if i can't show my emotions to my family, my mom couldn't deal with two kids having all these problems, and a husband who doesn't even act like one. Everyone else has all these problems, and i don't want to be a statistic, but at the same time i am.
My school life is alright. i get picked on a little bit, i only have a few friends, and my grades kinda dropped this year. but whatever, i don't worry about that much - there's too much other shit to be concerned with.
Recently i moved from a shitty condo into a decent home, it was supposed to be a good thing. however, now it sucks. My neighbor is a complete prick who is out to get my family. And that's a fact - he hates us. I used to baby sit his two children. They have some serious problems he doesn't want to admit, but anyways.. one of them made an absurd accusation towards me and of course he believed him. now whenever i leave my house i'm afraid i might see him. i hate confrontations, but i also have so much anger towards him. if he said anything to me i'm almost sure i'd snap.
Sorry for this long ass rant. i wasn't planning on writing this much.
To sum all of it up: i'm stuck and i can't get out. Everywhere i go there's another problem and its driving me insane. I'm breaking down, and fast.. i feel like life is going by me, and i'm wasting all my time being concerned with everything else i don't have time to enjoy it.
Lately i've been really down, and that's not like me at all. Everything is catching up to me and it sucks. I hate everything about my past, my whole life i've been trying to move on from it, but something always puts me right back where i started.
Everytime things start to look better another dramatic event happens that i have to find a way to cope with. It sucks. usually i have a somewhat optimistic outlook on things, but i don't see the point anymore. optimism is just a false reality.
My brother's had a lot of emotional problems, he's attempted suicide and all that. my mom's had a really hard life, and no one ever respects her. It hurts me so much to see how sad she really is inside. my father is just.. ugh. he's not around a lot, and when he is things don't go so well. Outside of them i don't have any family. Basically that leaves me, the youngest. I've always felt as if i can't show my emotions to my family, my mom couldn't deal with two kids having all these problems, and a husband who doesn't even act like one. Everyone else has all these problems, and i don't want to be a statistic, but at the same time i am.
My school life is alright. i get picked on a little bit, i only have a few friends, and my grades kinda dropped this year. but whatever, i don't worry about that much - there's too much other shit to be concerned with.
Recently i moved from a shitty condo into a decent home, it was supposed to be a good thing. however, now it sucks. My neighbor is a complete prick who is out to get my family. And that's a fact - he hates us. I used to baby sit his two children. They have some serious problems he doesn't want to admit, but anyways.. one of them made an absurd accusation towards me and of course he believed him. now whenever i leave my house i'm afraid i might see him. i hate confrontations, but i also have so much anger towards him. if he said anything to me i'm almost sure i'd snap.
Sorry for this long ass rant. i wasn't planning on writing this much.
To sum all of it up: i'm stuck and i can't get out. Everywhere i go there's another problem and its driving me insane. I'm breaking down, and fast.. i feel like life is going by me, and i'm wasting all my time being concerned with everything else i don't have time to enjoy it.